Haunted
by RedHeadedFlame
Summary: Katniss Everdeen has been living with the ghosts of her loved ones for the last nine years. But when Peeta Mellark shows up in her small mining hometown she realises that he might just be even more haunted than her.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It feels good to be back with my latest story! I should warn you that this story will deal with some dark emotional matters which may not be easy to read at times but I hope it still keeps you interested anyway.**

 **Thanks to my Beta, LavendarVanilla, for her help on getting this chapter ready for you all. Her enthusiasm for this story has really made me excited for the rest of you to read it.**

 **Warning: There is some mild violence at the end of this chapter**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters**

Chapter One

 _Katniss_

The dusty bar is empty. Sunlight peeks through the cracks in the shutters and creates a striped pattern on the floor. The ancient jukebox stands silent in the corner and the pool table sits like a deserted island in a dark wasteland. The wallpaper is curling and peeling off the walls. Framed photographs of happier times hang on the walls, faded from the exposure to daylight. The chairs and tables all sit empty as the ghosts of previous conversations, arguments and declarations of love float around them.

A shiver goes up my spine as I look out onto the lifeless bar. The hour before we open is always the most unsettling time. Eerily quiet and dark. Without noisy patrons to fill the place the decaying nature of the bar is made more obvious. The place is slowly crumbling and threatening to bury the ghosts hidden within. It is the only time I don't like being in the bar alone.

But I force myself into the empty space to start my routine for the day. I pull the chairs off the tables and set them out, roll a fresh keg of beer up from the basement and wipe down the counter. This routine is so ingrained into my body that I barely have to think as I go through the chores.

Once everything is set up, I go through to the back to find my uncle sprawled and unconscious on the moth eaten couch. His muddy blond hair is plastered along one side of his face and he is drooling down onto his greying beard. His grubby grey shirt is open down the front and reveals his rather unattractive and hairy belly. There is a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a knife in the other. I sigh as I lean over to remove the knife from his grasp.

"Uncle Haymitch, it's time to get up. You promised to help out with the bar today," I say, giving him a large nudge in the shoulder.

He grunts and rolls over, clutching the whiskey bottle to his chest. I sigh again as I shake my head. I know the bastard can hear me. He's clutching that bottle a little too tightly. But he's been passed out in here for two days now. It's time for him to own up to his responsibilities again.

"Uncle Haymitch!" I shout a little louder as I shake his body.

He's stubborn though and won't budge from his sleeping position. I let out an exasperated huff as I look around the cluttered room to try and find something to wake him with. As my eyes scan the mess of empty bottles and food packets I spot a jug of water sitting on the table. With a smile I make my way over and bring it back so I am holding it above my uncle's head.

"If you don't get up in five seconds, I'm pouring this jug of water over you," I state.

I tip the jug forward slightly as I begin counting to five.

"One…two…three…" I begin.

With each number I tip the jug just that little bit more forward in preparation for giving my uncle a well needed bath.

"Four…" I carry on.

"Okay! Okay! I'm up! I'm up!" Uncle Haymitch grumbles as he turns round with his hands up in surrender.

I smile at him smugly as I pull the jug back and watch him heave himself into a sitting position. He roughly wipes the drool off his face with one hand before taking a swig out of the bottle in the other.

"You couldn't just let me sleep, sweetheart," Uncle Haymitch grumbles.

I huff again as I shake my head at him.

"This is your bar. I'm tired of running it by myself," I reply.

Uncle Haymitch squints up at me as he tries to get used to the light in the room.

"You just don't like being in the bar by yourself. Too many ghosts," he says.

I scowl at him as I cross my arms over my chest.

"You're hardly one to talk. You drink yourself into a stupor to forget your ghosts," I snap back.

He's already irritating me today. I keep this bar running for him. If it wasn't for me the bar would have fallen into decay and he would most likely be dead in a ditch somewhere. He has no right to slam me for my own painful memories.

He senses that he's over stepped the mark and shakes his head. Pushing himself off the couch he stands in front of me and bangs a hand against his chest. A loud belch leaves his lips causing me to crinkle my nose up as the foul smell of alcohol hits my face.

"Sorry, kid. Just let me button up my shirt and I'll be right out with you," he says.

I raise the jug and pour its contents over his head before he can even look down to do up the first button. The water splashes all down his face and dribbles down his shirt as he looks at me in surprise.

"Damn it, Katniss! You said that you weren't going to throw the water over me!" he yells.

"That was for the smell. I could smell you all the way from the bar. You are not serving in those clothes. Go take a shower," I reply.

Uncle Haymitch grumbles as he pulls off his sodden shirt and discards it on the ground. I stay standing until he makes his way up to the bathroom. Eventually I pick up his shirt and throw it in the washer. I am the one left to pick up his messes.

Uncle Haymitch comes down twenty minutes later, his hair still wet from the shower and, at least for now, not smelling of alcohol. He's even managed to find a reasonably clean shirt and a pair of pants without stains on them. It is the most presentable he is ever going to be.

Uncle Haymitch has had this bar for the last thirty years. He'll never admit it but he loves this bar. It is a reminder of what he and his wife built together. But he almost let it go to ruin when she died. As soon as I turned twenty-one I took over the bar and made sure he would always have this place to crash at the end of the day. And if I'm honest I need this bar too. It distracts me from the gaping holes that I have in my heart.

The bar may be crumbling and out of date but it is the only bar in our small mining town of Seam. Most nights the bar is filled with locals either unwinding after a day spent in the mines or escaping for a few hours from their wives. I know every regular by name and drink order and it's nice to feel like I have some sort of family in the evenings. There is no one waiting for me back at home.

Uncle Haymitch is the only real family I have left. My parents were killed in a car crash when I was sixteen. I have no brothers or sisters and I was entrusted in the care of my alcoholic uncle. He also battles demons of lost family and we sought solace from each other as we mourned our loved ones.

He may not be much but he made sure there was always dinner on the table and I did my part, hiding the bottles he used in an attempt to forget the past. We may both grumble about each other but we both would be a little lost without the other.

Uncle Haymitch pulls out a bottle of vodka as soon as he gets back downstairs. I watch him with a disapproving shake of the head as he fills the glass up and swallows the contents in one go. He bangs the glass down before going to pour another one but I reach over to snatch it out of his hands.

"You know, we might actually make a profit if you didn't drink all the stock," I say.

Uncle Haymitch leans against the counter as he looks at me.

"And you might be more fun if you allowed yourself a drink every now and again," he replies.

I sigh as I turn to look at him.

"I work in a bar. I see what drink does to people. I don't want to lose myself in it," I say.

Uncle Haymitch shakes his head at me before taking a step towards me. He looks at me sadly as he leans in to whisper in my ear.

"You've already lost yourself, Katniss," he says.

I pull back to look at him and he gives me a sad smile. The use of my real name tells me he is being serious. He obviously believes I'm not myself any longer. We stand staring at each other for a moment before I shake my head and turn away from him. I'm doing fine. I am not as lost as him.

The bar is quiet through the afternoon but picks up around 7 o'clock when the miners get in. It's a Friday night so I know we will be busy. I make sure we have enough alcohol upstairs and enough clean glasses to handle the rush.

I hardly say two words to Uncle Haymitch throughout the afternoon and he is just fine with that. He's pissed with how I woke him up and I am put out by his suggestion that I have lost myself. I throw him a few angry glares as I see him topping up his own glass more often than the patrons'. It means I am the one left to serve nearly every person in the bar as he stands about laughing with his buddy Chaff. I spend a lot of the day think about pouring all his alcohol away once the bar closes.

I am so busy fuming at my uncle that I almost miss the new guy that enters the bar. We don't get many new faces in here so I immediately recognise that he's not from around here. I eye him carefully as he scans the bar before walking up towards Uncle Haymitch. I need to make sure this new guy isn't going to cause trouble.

He's good looking, that's for sure. Stocky build, ashy blond hair that falls in waves and a strong jaw. A few of the female patrons turn to appraise him as he walks past. He stops in front of my uncle and orders the cheapest beer we have on draft **.** Uncle Haymitch eyes him carefully before a smile spreads across his face.

"Sorry, can't serve you right now," Uncle Haymitch replies.

The man looks confused and turns to look up and down the deserted counter. It's a rare quiet period and there is no one else standing here.

"You're not serving anyone else," the man says.

Uncle Haymitch just grins again and turns to smile in my direction.

"My niece will serve you. Katniss could do with an attractive young man to chat to her. It'll give her self-esteem a boost," he says.

The man at least has the decency to blush but I still scowl at my uncle anyway. I don't need a set up. Uncle Haymitch just laughs though and then removes himself from the counter. I am left alone with the blond stranger.

He looks at me for a moment before giving me an awkward smile and moving along to stand in front of me.

"Did you catch my order or do you need me to repeat it?" he asks.

"No. I got it," I reply.

I then turn to find a glass and fill it with the amber liquid. The blond man stares at me while I do this.

"Katniss. That's a pretty name. At least you're named after a plant. My parents named me after a type of bread, Peeta," he says pointing to himself

I look up at him with a frown.

"My uncle was joking. I don't need you to flirt with me," I reply.

Peeta holds up his hand in a surrendering gesture.

"Hey, I was just making conversation. Clearly you're not that type of bartender," he says.

"Look. We're busy tonight. I don't have a lot of time for chit chat," I reply.

I don't do small talk with people I don't know. And most likely this guy is just passing through. I don't want to get to know him.

He looks up and down at the counter again, noting the lack of other people needing served, sighs and shakes his head.

"It amazes me you get any customers. Your uncle and you are such receptive hosts," he says dryly.

I scowl at him again. I don't like his attitude. He knows nothing about my uncle and me. He's got that boy next door look that suggests that he has never had any hardship in his life. I suspect he gets through life with a good smile and charming words.

I bark out the price and he hands me the appropriate coins. I snatch them out of his hand and slam them into the till.

I expect him to move on afterwards but he lingers by the counter for a moment longer. He takes a sip of his beer before digging into his pockets and pulling out a square of paper. It's a photograph which he lays down on the counter and flattens out with the palm of his hand. Taking a deep breath, he brings his head back up to look at me.

"Look, clearly you don't want to speak to me, but I'm looking for someone. Have you seen this girl? Her name is Prim, or Primrose, and I heard she was living here a few months back," he asks.

Something in the tone of his voice changes and I catch a hint of desperation. I look back up at him slightly confused. I didn't expect that from him

It's then I notice the colour of his eyes. They are a brilliant blue, the colour of the sky on a summer's day, but there is something clouding them. A darkness and longing that I am all too familiar with. Whoever this girl is, she must mean a lot to him.

I keep staring at him for a moment and see the almost pleading look in his eyes. He's desperate for me to have any answers for him and I suddenly realise that his smile before was fake. A mask to hide his real pain.

I look back down at the picture of the girl. She looks young. Maybe eighteen. She's skinny and dainty with blond hair and blue eyes. A sister, perhaps? Or maybe a cousin? The blue eyes are very similar to the man standing in front of me. The girl is smiling in the picture but there is a slightly glazed look in her eyes that suggests she's not fully in the moment.

I do recognise this girl although I only spoke to her once. New people tend to stick out in our town and her and her boyfriend made quite a splash when they turned up a few months ago. I kept out of most of the gossip but I know they gave my friend Darius a hard time at the police station.

"I spoke to her once and that was to throw her out for being under age. I don't sell alcohol to kids," I say.

Peeta nods his head sadly as if this news doesn't surprise him.

"Is she still here?" he asks.

I hate the look of hope he has in his eyes. I can't tell him anything that is going to make things better. I shake my head.

"She and her boyfriend left about three months ago," I reply.

Peeta's eyes darken when I mention the boyfriend. His shoulders hunch forward and his eyes become glued on the glass in front of him. It's clear he doesn't like him.

I was a little creeped out by the boyfriend as well. It was clear he was a lot older than this girl. Maybe a couple of years older than me and he was always feeling her up in public. But I didn't question the relationship. I hate people poking their nose in my relationship so why would I poke my nose in someone else's. Suddenly I wish I had questioned a bit more. What was a young girl doing away from home with a man nearly ten years older than her?

After a long moment Peeta pulls his head back to look at me.

"Do you know where they went?" he asks.

I shake my head again. He lets out a weary sigh.

"Is there anyone here who might know? Was there anyone they talked to?" he asks.

I shrug my shoulder.

"Maybe. But I didn't see them talking to anyone from here. They kept close together," I reply.

Peeta lets out a resigned sigh and I suddenly want to reach over to give him a hug. He begins to shrink into himself and casts his eyes down to the floor. It is clear this is not the news he was wanting to hear.

"Thanks for your help," he says, disheartened.

I watch him as he trudges over to an empty table and sits slumped in his chair. He looks at the photo for a long moment and the despair in his eyes makes my heart clench. I recognise that pain.

After that, I can't keep my eyes off him. It is something to do with the haunted look in his eyes. I misjudged him. This man has his own ghosts and I know all too well how hard it is to battle them. I empathise with him as he sits staring longingly at the photo.

He finishes his first beer quickly and then gets up to go round the bar and ask more people if they have seen the girl. I watch them all give him an apology and shake of the head before they turn away from him. He gets more disheartened as more and more people tell him they have no news.

He starts to drink more as the night wears on and the hope of news about the girl diminishes. He begins stumbling about the place, knocking into people and tripping over chairs. The locals all turn to him with hard glares and I get anxious that he is going to cause some sort of trouble. When he comes up to the bar again I refuse to serve him.

"Come on! Just one more drink. I'll buy you one too. You're kinda pretty, ya know," he slurs as he slumps down at the counter.

I sigh and shake my head at him. I've seen this behaviour too many times before. The drinking to forget your problems and then losing yourself in the process. It's why I don't drink, which many people find amusing since I work in a bar, but I have seen what alcohol does to people. And I know from watching Uncle Haymitch that once you are sober it only makes things worse.

"You don't want to buy me a drink. Go home. Sleep if off. You'll feel better tomorrow," I say.

Peeta shakes his head as he tries to get to his feet.

"I doubt it," he mumbles.

My heart clenches in pain for this man. I briefly wonder what has caused him so much heartache.

He does pick himself off the bar though and begins making his way to the door with his head hung low. However he's not looking where he is going and he knocks into Delly **,** a bubbly blonde I went to high school with, who is standing talking to her boyfriend Thom. She stumbles forward and spills her drink all down herself. She catches Peeta's attention with a shrill shriek.

He looks up at her and sees the mess he created. The drink has splashed across her chest and drops of it roll down her ample cleavage. Peeta's eyes flick to Thom standing behind her with a look of anger in his eyes.

It is like something clicks in Peeta's head and he straightens up to look Thom straight in the eye.

"Sorry. Wasn't watching where I was going. I'll just clean her up," he says.

He then reaches his hands out to start patting the liquid off Delly's chest. Her eyes widen in shock and she shrieks at him.

"Get your filthy hands off me!" she screams.

Thom tightens his grip on her shoulders and stares angrily at Peeta. But Peeta doesn't stop his movements as he continues to wipe and clean her chest. Thom's eyes narrow and he steps around Delly to stare down at him.

"She told you to get your hands off her. If you don't then we have a problem," Thom says.

Peeta's hands stop but he doesn't remove them from the girl's chest. He turns to look up at Thom.

Thom is at least half a foot taller than him with arms the size of tree trunks. He is an intimidating figure. Peeta should apologise and get out of here before Thom throws a punch.

But Peeta doesn't back down from Thom's stare, rolling his shoulders back as he drops his hands from Delly's chest. He takes a step closer to Thom and smiles up at him.

In that moment I realise that Peeta wants to be hit. I've seen this behaviour before with Uncle Haymitch. He wants to get in a fight. He wants to feel physical pain to stop himself from feeling the pain over the missing girl.

"Sorry, man. She's got real nice tits though," Peeta says.

The hit comes in before I even have a chance to jump over the counter. The sound is so clear and loud that the whole bar falls silent. Peeta falls to the ground clutching his face as Thom drops down to throw in a few more punches **.** The sounds of Thom's knuckles crunching against Peeta's skin and Peeta's moans are the only sounds that fill the room. I rush around the other side of the bar to put a stop to it.

I can't believe I let this happen. I should have cut Peeta off hours ago and when it was clear to me that he was drinking to forget. Just like I suspected, he's not really putting a fight back against Thom and lets Thom hit him again and again. Probably as punishment for losing the girl in the first place.

I race forward and clutch Thom's shoulders to pull him back. He's panting and I can feel his body tremble with anger but I manage to get him to stop punching.

"Stop. I won't have this nonsense in my bar. Everyone get out. It's time to go home," I declare.

Delly comes up to put an arm around Thom and he looks down at Peeta with disgust. The bar has gone silent as they see him twitching on the floor. But I know they will all clear out soon. I may be small but they know I mean business when I intervene. No one wants to be barred from the only bar in town.

"Go back to where you came from," Thom spits at Peeta. "I don't want you touching my girlfriend again."

Peeta is barely conscious and I worry that he's got concussion. Thom squeezes Delly tighter to him, kisses the top of her head and then walks with her out the door. The other patrons follow soon after.

Peeta is left lying bloody and bruised on the ground. I go back to the counter to get some ice and cold cloth and press it against his swollen eye.

"You go looking for trouble," I sigh.

Peeta winces as I place the cold compress against his eye but says nothing to contradict me.

Uncle Haymitch decides to finally come back through after sneaking away about an hour ago. He frowns at the empty bar and then looks down at where I am nursing Peeta.

"What in hell happened here?" he asks.

"It seems the new guy wanted a fight. He tried to feel up Delly in front of Thom," I say.

Peeta winces as I get him up into a sitting position and check his other wounds.

"Jesus, kid. Of all the men to pick a fight with. You must have a death wish," Uncle Haymitch says as he pours himself another drink and comes to sit on a chair near Peeta and me.

"Well, I was wrestling champion at school," Peeta replies.

He gives me a crooked smile and I let out a small laugh as I begin wiping the blood from around his eye.

"You didn't use any of your moves in that fight. You just let him hit you," I say.

"I deserve it," he replies solemnly, the grin dropping from his face.

Uncle Haymitch and I share a worried look. We both recognise the pain in his voice. This man may be the most lost of us all.

I should be mad at Peeta for coming into my bar and starting a fight but his pain is too familiar. I know what it is like to lose someone and the helplessness and guilt you feel for losing them. I find myself wishing I could have helped Peeta more when he asked about the girl.

We are all quiet for a long time as I clean up the rest of Peeta's wounds. He lets out a small shout of pain every now and again but on the whole is a relatively good patient. I'm worried about concussion though and I'm a little scared about letting him walk out of here alone.

"Where are you staying tonight?" I ask.

He just shrugs his shoulders as he looks down at the floor.

"I think I saw a motel about a mile away," he replies.

I shake my head at him in disbelief.

"I can't let you stay there by yourself. You might have concussion," I say.

Peeta then turns to me with a small smile.

"What else do you suggest, bartender Katniss?" he asks.

I quickly look to Uncle Haymitch who gives me a nod of the head. I sigh as I turn back to Peeta.

"You're coming home with me. I have a very comfy couch you can sleep on," I say as I put my arms around him to pull him up.

Peeta sways slightly on his feet once he is standing and I have to stick my hands out to steady him again. He wobbles as he leans his head in closer to me.

"Just to let you know, I don't normally let strange women take me home the first night I meet them," he says with a smile.

I roll my eyes at him. At least he seems to be joking again. Though I suspect he uses humour to deflect things. He stumbles forward again and I have to reach out to catch him. I put my arm around him as I prepare to take him back to my apartment.

"Damn it. Drunk and beaten up men are just my type!" I reply jokingly.

Peeta laughs and I realise it is the first time I have heard it tonight. It's a deep laugh that warms my heart. I suddenly wish I heard it more tonight.

As I half support, half carry Peeta back to my apartment I wonder what exactly happened to stop him laughing so much. There is a lot of pain there and I don't know if I will ever be privileged enough to know exactly what caused it. But I realise, that if he lets me, I want to help him.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: A huge thank you to everyone that has shown an interest in this story. It's great that you have so many questions already and some answers will be revealed in this chapter. You'll notice that I have fiddled with some of the ages of characters in this story so that it fits in better. I hope to keep you still intrigued.**

 **And a huge thanks to LavenderVanilla for her feedback on this chapter. Check out her Everlark stories if you haven't already.**

* * *

Chapter Two

 _Peeta_

I feel the pounding ache behind my eyes before I am even fully awake. Every muscle in my body aches and I seem to be lying on some lumpy piece of furniture. My mouth feels like sandpaper and my dry lips crack as I pry them apart. I let out a low groan as the full effects of my hangover take hold.

I don't remember much of last night. Though the lumpy padding beneath me suggests that I at least found a place to crash and didn't pass out in a dark alleyway somewhere. That's happened more times than I would probably care to admit in the last year. Ever since Prim ran away with Cray drinking has become my new favourite hobby. But then again there are some people that say addiction is genetic and dear old mom seems more than happy to pass this gene on.

Flashes come to me. Uninterested people barely tolerating me as I ask about Prim . Some shrill blonde girl making a scene. A pair of grey eyes watching as I fell deeper into the drink. Did I get into a fight last night?

I turn over and try to stretch out my cramped limbs. I let out a small yelp of pain at the tender feeling around my ribs. I rub one hand across the area while the other hand reaches up to scrub my face. I winch as my hand runs over another tender spot around my eye and feels the rough edges of a cut underneath it.

Yep. I definitely got into a fight last night.

I finally force myself to open my eyes and face up to the consequences of my previous night's antics. I always feel worse in the light of day but it is penance for how I have failed Prim.

I squint my eyes against the morning sun that shines through a window but as I try to sit up the room around me begins to spin. I can feel the vomit rising up through my throat and I lurch forward to try and expel the contents away from me.

"The sick bucket is just in front of you," a female voice suddenly calls.

My eyes move just in time to see the plastic basin that is placed by my head and I turn to empty the contents of my stomach into it. I gag a few times afterwards before wiping the sick off with the back of my hand and straightening up.

The female voice surprises me and I look up to take in my surroundings. The lumpy piece underneath me is in fact a rather old and ratty brown couch. A woollen blanket is around my shoulders and my shoes are placed neatly at the end of the couch.

I continue to scan the stranger's apartment trying to piece together who the poor soul is that managed to get sucked into the mess that is my life. It's not very big with plainly painted walls and wooden flooring. Family photos grace the wall. A wooden bow and arrow sits propped up in the corner and there is an actual old fashion record player sitting on top of a cabinet.

Eventually my eyes zone in on the owner of the voice who warned me about the sick bucket. She's sitting at a small wooden table with intricate floral patterns carved into the legs. There's a mug of coffee in her hands and her eyes are trained on me.

Another flash of a memory goes through my mind as I remember a pair of captivating grey eyes and a long dark braid leaning over me as she placed a cold cloth to my head. I thought she was pretty when I walked into the bar last night but she looks even more beautiful in the daylight. Slim but strong with a face free of makeup that only enhances the slightly olive tone of her skin. She is naturally stunning which makes me really hope that I didn't hit on her last night. A girl as beautiful as that doesn't deserved to be hit on by a drunken asshole.

My mind struggles to remember if I got her name and I can feel it floating inside there somewhere, struggling to remember it.

"Katniss," I say finally catching hold of it. "You work at the bar."

She smiles as she shakes her head before she gets up to come and take a seat on a chair opposite me.

"I didn't think you would remember. I've seen fish drink less than you," she says.

There is just a tiny hint of disapproval in her tone. It's clear she doesn't drink herself into my state that often. But there is also something else; empathy. She understands why I do it.

"I'd be a fool to forget the name of a pretty girl like you **,"** I reply.

"You're a real charmer, aren't you? It's a shame you couldn't have been more charming towards Thom last night. Might have saved yourself a fight," she says.

I winch. Her words confirm what I already knew. I wonder what I started it over yesterday.

I grimace as I try to move into a sitting position. My ribs feel bad and the swelling around my eye seems to be getting worse. I must have picked a big guy to fight with last night.

Katniss notices my pain and leans forward to take a closer look at me.

"I don't think you cracked any ribs and I cleaned that cut on your eye. I'm worried about concussion though. How's your head?" she asks.

"How can I tell if my head is hurting from the fight or the hangover?" I ask.

Katniss purses her lips together as she studies my injuries carefully.

"Answer some simple questions. Who's the president?" she asks.

"Coriolanus Snow," I reply.

Katniss nods her head.

"Good. And your name?" she asks again.

"Peeta Mellark," I reply.

"Okay. And the answer to 15x15?" she asks.

I look at her with disbelieving shake of the head.

"Who knows the answer to that?" I reply.

A small grin appears on her face and she leans back in the chair.

"Anyone who paid attention in high school. It's 225, by the way," she says.

I grin back at her and I lean back against the couch.

"A math genius, I see. You've just made me feel very inadequate," I say.

She smiles again as she clutches her coffee mug closer in both hands. She looks down at the mug when she speaks again.

"My dad loved numbers. He could recite pi to something like fifty places. He was always drilling me with math facts as a kid," she says.

The smile falls from her face and she grows sombre. She hunches her shoulders forward as she pulls the coffee mug closer to her body. I recognise that look. The sadness over someone you have lost. I can only assume her dad is no longer with us.

There's silence for a long moment as Katniss momentarily goes off into a different place. Probably a place where her father is still alive and running off all the decimal places of pi. She slowly comes back though and brings her eyes to look up at me again **.**

"I saw what you did last night. You got into that fight on purpose. You wanted Thom to hit you," she states.

Immediately I turn my eyes away from her and fix my stare on a spot on the wall opposite. How is she so easily able to read me? I can't remember the fight last night but I have been in enough of them to know I would have been the cause. It often happens when I am drunk and feel my lowest about what I let happen to Prim. It's been a bad habit over the last year but I go looking for them to act as some sort of punishment for failing her. Plus the physical pain is a lot easier to deal with than the emotional scars that have been left behind. I just don't know if I can tell Katniss that.

I shrug my shoulders indifferently.

"It's easier to get into a fight than handle everything else," I reply still looking at the wall.

I can feel Katniss's eyes on me and I can't think how she can possibly understand.

"I get that," she replies.

I snap my head round and am surprised by the look in her eye. It's not judgemental or angry. It's understanding. I really look at this girl in front of me and see the real sadness behind her eyes for the first time. She's suffered a lot of pain too and knows what it is like to struggle with it. We share a moment of mutual understanding.

Eventually I cough and look away from her. I'm not used to people understanding.

"I'm sorry for causing a scene in your bar last night. I guess I didn't make a good first impression," I say.

Katniss nods her head in agreement.

"You may have to wear a disguise in the street. This town is very protective of its own," she replies.

"Good thing I've got you protecting me then. Like my own real life superhero!" I say with a cheeky smile.

Katniss laughs and the beautiful sound tickles my skin. My heart suddenly grows warm.

"I'm sorry, again. I do stupid shit when I'm drunk. Thank you for taking pity on me," I say.

"It's a superhero's duty to protect the damsels in distress," she replies with a grin.

I raise my eyebrows at her and she bites back a smile. Another smile spreads across my face as we continue to stare at each other.

"I guess I should take it as a compliment. Only the really pretty ones get saved," I reply.

Katniss can't stop the laugh escaping from her lips this time and I join in with her. I'm suddenly very grateful for this kind and understanding girl in front of me. Most bartenders would have had no problem kicking me to the curb. She didn't have to bring me back here.

"Thank you. If there is anything I can do to repay you, just name it," I say.

A hint of a smile appears at the corner of her lips as she shakes her head. She tips back her mug to drain the last of its contents and then pushes up to get off the chair.

"I'm sure I'll think of someway for you to repay me. I'll let you know when I think of something," she says.

I smile back at her gratefully as she stands staring down with me.

"There's a shower down the hall. You might want to use it. I'm going to put some breakfast on," she says.

I am once again hit by her kindness. She is going above and beyond her duties of a good Samaritan.I don't think I deserve her kindness after what I caused in her bar last night. But she has already turned to go into the kitchen to make breakfast and I don't have time to argue with her. I manage to pull myself up without throwing up again and make my way gingerly to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

I inspect my bruises in the mirror as the room fills with steam from the shower. There are several purple bruises on my torso, including a particularly large and dark one over my ribs. It spreads out over my body like a rose in full bloom. I winch again as I inspect the cut under my eye. Thankfully it is not too deep and hasn't swollen as much as I thought. I can still open my eye but it is red and raw underneath. I'm going to be walking round with a reminder of my idiotic behaviour for a while.

Though I don't think any of these new marks are going to be joining my current collection of scars on my body. I run a finger up the old, long jagged scar that runs up my side. It is the most prominent scar on my body and a very permanent reminder of what happened at home. I can still feel the sharp slice of pain as the bottle cut through my skin even ten years later.

The rest of my body is littered with smaller scars and burns. Each one bringing with it its own haunting memory.

I drop my hand from my scar and shake my head. I am not about to let my ghosts haunt me again.

The shower feels good as it helps wash away the few memories I do have of last night. Although at one point I have to sit down in it as I begin to get nauseous after standing for a long time. But I feel a little refreshed after turning the water off and stepping out the shower.

As soon as the shower turns off there is a knock on the bathroom door and Katniss' voice floats through.

"I've taken out some of my boyfriend's old clothes. They may be a bit big but I thought you might prefer something clean to wear," she says.

My heart momentarily drops when I hear her use the word boyfriend. It is only now that I notice that there are two toothbrushes sitting by the sink. One blue and one green. It clearly isn't a new thing.

I immediately chastise myself for feeling disappointed though. I didn't come here to pick up a girl. I'm here to find Prim. I don't need distractions. Katniss having a boyfriend shouldn't bother me.

"That's great. Just leave them by the door," I call through.

Katniss agrees and I wait until I have heard her footsteps disappear before I open the door and pick up the neatly folded clothes that wait for me.

She's not kidding about the clothes being big. This guy must be over six foot tall. The long sleeves of the flannel shirt cover my hands and the pair of jeans trail along the floor. I have to roll them up four times before the jeans fit me properly. Thankfully we seem to be the same waist size and I don't have to worry about them falling down as I walk. Before I go back out I reach into my own pants pockets and pull out the two items I've been carrying around with me for the last year and stuff them into the pocket of my new clothes.

"Is your boyfriend a giant?" I exclaim as I walk back through to the living room.

Katniss has finished cooking a breakfast of bacon and eggs and a plate lies out for me on the wooden table. The smell makes the contents of my stomach swirl again and I'm not sure I can enjoy what she made for me.

Katniss looks up at me as I enter and a strange expression crosses her face. She stares at the clothes on my body for a long time and I'm not quite sure she heard my question. She seems to focus on only the clothes that hang on my body.

After a long while, I make a small cough and move to sit in the chair opposite her.

"Katniss? Are you okay?" I ask.

My voice startles her and she blinks a few time before turning her attention back to my face.

"I'm sorry," she says shaking her head. "It's just strange seeing you in his clothes."

Katniss drops her eyes again and focuses them on the food in front of her. She begins shovelling bacon and eggs into her mouth without a further look in my direction. I frown at her strange behaviour.

"I'm not going to have to deal with your boyfriend walking in and getting the wrong impression, am I? I already got myself into one fight last night. I don't want to get myself into another," I ask.

Katniss still refuses to look at me but her eyes flick over towards a picture resting on a small table with a lamp. She's with a tall man in the picture and by the looks they both give each other I can guess he is her boyfriend.

They could almost be related with how similar they look. He has short dark hair and the same slightly olive complexion and steel grey eyes as she does. He's tall and well-built, though not as broad as I am, with just the hint of dark stubble gracing his chin.

Their eyes are fixed together in the photo as he stands behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist. Katniss' head is tilted back so she can look at him and share a secret laugh over some private joke. Something twists in my heart as I see them looking so happy.

But Katniss' eyes soon flick back to the food in front of her as she prepares another bite before answering me.

"Gale's not in Seam," she states.

She doesn't expand anymore and I don't push her. She wants to keep her relationship private. It is not my place to pry.

Neither of us say anything for a long moment as Katniss continues to focus only on the plate in front of her and I tentatively try to work up an appetite for food. I gently nibble at a bit of bacon but one bite is enough to make me retch and I end up abandoning the food and pushing my plate away. I pour myself a glass of cold water and try to rehydrate my parched throat.

Finally Katniss clears her plate and looks back at me as she wipes the grease off with a napkin. She takes a deep breath as she leans back in her chair clutching a glass of orange juice in her hands.

"So are you going to tell me why you're in Seam? Most people don't come for the scenery," she asks.

I gulp down the last of the water I'm drinking as I look at her. I'm not sure how much I can tell her. I've seen something in her this morning that suggests that she has experienced pain and loss as well but I am not sure I can tell her my darkest memories. They are too personal for someone I have just met.

When I don't answer she tries a different question.

"You're looking for that blonde girl? The one who was here a few months back? How do you know her?" she asks.

I nod my head as I bend down to retrieve Prim's photo from my pants pocket. I flatten the picture out on the table and Katniss leans in to take a closer look.

"Prim. She's my sister. My baby sister. She's been missing for the last year after she ran off with her drug addict boyfriend. I haven't seen her since," I state.

I have spent the last year trying to track her down. Any rumour or whisper of her whereabouts and I run to check it out. I gave up my job as a chef and pick up the odd job here and there while I searched **.** But she has been impossible to find so far. Whenever I get anywhere, she and Cray are long gone.

This latest rumour, told to me by some dealer her boyfriend uses, suggested that they had come to this small mining town stuck in the middle of nowhere. Apparently they owed some people some money and took off to a town in the distance. But as usual. I am too late. They have already moved on.

Katniss nods her head as she studies the picture carefully.

"How old is she?" she asks.

"She would have turned nineteen last month. Cray probably bought her an eight-ball to celebrate," I say bitterly.

Katniss's eyes widen in shock before they turn back to the picture, full of sympathy.

Cray introduced my little sister to drugs three years ago. It started with the small stuff, weed and pills, before he gradually got her hooked onto the harder drugs. I only know heroin is her drug of choice because a neighbour called to tell me he caught Prim trying to steal from her to buy the stuff.

I never liked Cray. He was a couple of years older than me at high school and the resident school bully. He took an instant dislike to me after I beat him in a wrestling meet as a freshman. I have always wondered if he pursued Prim as a way to get back at me. Why else would be interested in a teenage girl eight years younger than him?

I think they met at some party and he charmed her by telling her how beautiful she was and paid her all the attention she needed. The attention she wasn't getting from home. It was easy after that to buy her some drugs and show her some affection which all led her to become infatuated by him. She thinks it is love that she feels for him but he is just the one that provides her with the drugs she needs to get high and forget.

By the time I realised how deep in she was with him, it was too late. They took off together a year ago, once I started pestering Prim to come and move in with me.

"Cray is the guy she was here with?" Katniss asks.

I nod my head and Katniss shakes hers in disbelief.

"I always thought there was something strange about their relationship but I never stopped to ask questions," Katniss says.

"You're not the only one. I only found out they were dating eighteen months ago. It's my fault they found each other in the first place. I left her alone with Mom as soon as I turned eighteen. I was so selfish and desperate to leave that house that I just took off without her. I left her alone with Mom for six years. It's no surprise she found someone like Cray to escape," I reply.

I hang my head down as I pick at the skin around my nail. I've failed Prim so miserably. My hand dips into my pocket to find the marble I've been carrying around since Prim went missing. It was the marble I gave her when we were children. The one I told her was magic and would always keep her safe. It's a reminder of how badly I let her down.

My biggest regret is being in such a rush to leave home as soon as I turned eighteen. I couldn't bear to live in that house a moment longer. Not with Mom and the way she is. And I was a coward. I was so desperate to leave that I didn't think about Prim. I left her there as I skipped town and got a job flipping burgers in some diner. I didn't think about how leaving would affect my little sister.

I didn't even go back to see her until that neighbour called about the stealing. I was shocked just how far Prim had fallen but most of all I hated myself for failing her so badly. I should have taken her with me. I roll the marble in my fingers as my feelings of guilt overwhelm me.

I'm so lost in my guilt that I startle when I feel a small hand reach out to gently touch my arm. I look up to find Katniss staring at me sadly.

"We always hate ourselves for failing the ones we love," Katniss replies.

From the way she is looking at me, I know she is talking from personal experience. There is someone she let down so she understands the guilt I am feeling now. She's probably the only person I have met that understands that feeling.

I smile back at her gratefully and she gives me a small one in return.

"So what is your plan for finding her?" Katniss asks.

She pulls her hand back and I am almost disappointed by the loss of her touch. I lean back in my chair as I run a tired hand through my hair. I shrug my shoulders and let out a loud sigh.

"I don't really have one. I'm just drifting between towns, trying to find any news of her," I say.

Katniss sighs as she shakes her head rapidly.

"That's going to take too long. Have you put anything on missing person blogs? I can ask my friend, Darius, at the sheriff's office to call round the other offices and see if they have heard anything. They caused him a few problems and if they are dealing and doing drugs there is a high chance they have run into the police again," she says.

I shake my head as I look at her in disbelief. I can't believe she just offered to help me. I turn up at her bar last night, start a fight and then throw up in her living room. She should want nothing more to do with me. But here she is offering her help to find my sister. I'm not used to people offering me help.

"Why are you helping me?" I ask.

Katniss stops to look me deep in the eye.

"Because I know what it is like to lose someone. But you at least have a chance to get them back."


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to everyone that has already followed/favourited/reviewed this story. Your support encourages me to write more. I know as I answer some questions more are revealed so I hope to keep you interested enough to keep reading to find out.**

 **A big thanks to my Beta, LavenderVanilla. She keeps me straight and sorts out my bad habits!**

* * *

Chapter 3

 _Katniss_

The sheriff's office boasts a new lick of paint. The bright white walls stand out from all the other coal covered fronts. Everything in our town seems to be covered in a layer of coal dust. Even the people. I wonder why someone even bothered repainting it. It will be grey by the end of the month.

I stop at the bottom of the steps and look up at the oddly clean building. Anxiety grips my heart as I stare upon the polished sign above the door. My heart begins to beat faster and I have to remember to take deep breaths and breathe. Flashbacks of previous encounters here begin darting through my head at rapid speed. Each image only lasts about two seconds before it is gone and replaced by the next one; Darius' pained filled look as he opened the door, Uncle Haymitch throwing a coffee mug on the floor, the photos of the wreckage of my parents' car. I have only ever received bad news here.

I jump when I feel someone gently touching my elbow. I jerk round to see Peeta's battered and bruised face. Thom really did a number on him last night.

"Are you okay? You weren't answering my questions," he asks.

I stare at him for a long moment as my heart rate slows back to normal. I hadn't even been aware that he was talking. I was so lost in my memories.

His hand is still lightly gripping my elbow and he looks at me with concern in his eyes. I don't know what he must think of me. I offer to help him find his sister and enlist Darius' help and then completely zone out and ignore him as soon as we get here. I know I am confusing myself.

"I'm sorry," I finally reply. "The last time I came here I got bad news."

Understanding floods Peeta's features and he gives me a sad, sympathetic smile. He gives my arm a reassuring squeeze before dropping his hand and letting it swing by his side.

"You don't have to do it you know. You don't have to go in and help me," he says.

His eyes flit down and he scuffs the dirt on the ground with his shoe. I study him as he looks downtrodden and lost. I wonder if anyone has offered him help before.

I've surprised myself in how willing I am to help him but I can see the pain and guilt resting on his shoulders, weighing him down. It's a weight that I seem to carry around with me too. A weight I am not sure I will ever entirely get rid of.

Even nine years later there is still part of me that blames myself for the car accident that took my parents' lives. I had a solo in the Christmas concert that year. I was so excited and my parents were so proud. Dad had been going round town telling anyone who would listen that I was going to be the highlight of the show. Mom had bought him a new digital camera as an early Christmas present and he couldn't wait to take countless photos of me.

But there had been an issue at the mines and Dad was running late. He sped along the icy roads with Mom, in a desperate rush not to miss my shining moment. But he hit a patch of ice as he sped round a corner and flipped the car in the air. The police on the scene think it turned twice before crashing into a tree. Mom died on impact but Dad lay in agony for two hours before someone found them and he died en route to the hospital.

I still remember Uncle Haymitch picking me up from the school and instantly knowing something was wrong. I worried when I didn't see my parents in the audience during the show but I didn't believe the worst until I was sat in the sheriff's office and asked if I wanted to take my parents' belongings. It didn't seem real for a very long time.

For months I stayed inside, hating myself. If I hadn't been in the show they wouldn't have been rushing in the car to see me. They wouldn't have hit the ice and been rolled in the car. If I hadn't been in the show we would have been home, safe, and they would still be here today.

It was Gale that finally convinced me that it was not my fault. That cruel things happen and there doesn't seem to be a reason for them. My boyfriend was the only person who was able to pull me from my abyss and get me to live my life again.

But there is always this little part inside of me that feels guilty, even if I know it is not my fault. I haven't sung since the day of the concert. I am too haunted by the memory of what happened the last time I sang.

So I understand how Peeta is feeling. And while there is nothing I can do to save my loved ones I can help Peeta rescue his sister. Maybe if I help him I will feel better about the loved ones I have let down.

I take a deep breath and look deep into his eyes.

"No. It's fine. I want to help you get your sister back," I say earnestly.

Peeta gives me a small grateful smile and I nod my head to convince myself that I can go into the sheriff's office again. I turn to look at the door and take a deep breath before walking up the steps and entering the building.

The sheriff's office in Seam is tiny. Only two people work here and Darius, the town sheriff, sits behind an old wooden desk as we enter. His red hair has been slicked back to make him look more authoritative but the large amount of freckles dotted on his skin and cheeky smile still make him look very boyish. He got promoted to town sheriff just last year and is only a couple of years older than me. I find it a little amusing that the boy Gale and I ran about with, played pranks and stayed out past curfew with **,** is now the head of this town.

Darius' smile widens as soon as he sees me walk through the door and he gets up to his feet, giving me a big hug before I can say hello.

"Katniss! What a lovely surprise! I don't see enough of you these days!" Darius exclaims.

I give Darius a small smile as he pulls back. He's not the only person I don't see as much of these days. With the bar and everything that happened I don't spend as much time socialising as I used to. I really only speak to people that come to the bar.

"Well someone has to make sure Uncle Haymitch doesn't drink the entire contents of the bar," I reply.

Darius smiles back before his eyes flick to Peeta, who stands behind me. Darius turns back to me with a frown.

"Is this the guy who ran into Thom's fist last night? Didn't expect you bringing him to see me," Darius says.

I sigh as I turn back to look at Peeta. His bruises look worse in the daylight. The cut around his eye is particularly red and raw looking.

"News travels fast in this town," I say as I turn back round to look at Darius. "This is Peeta Mellark. He's an idiot who started a fight with Thom but he's looking for his sister. I thought you might be able to help."

Darius looks back to Peeta and studies him carefully. Darius is clearly wary of him. Peeta begins to shift uncomfortably on his feet as Darius continues to scrutinize him. Eventually Darius looks back at me, asking me silently if I am being serious. I nod my head and Darius lets out a loud breath. He turns to take a seat back at the desk. Peeta and I follow and sit down opposite him.

"How can I help?" Darius asks.

I turn to look at Peeta and he nods, encouraging me to go on.

"Peeta's sister is missing. She was in Seam three months ago with her boyfriend Cray. You might remember seeing them," I say.

Darius nods his head.

"I remember. He caused me a lot of trouble while he was here. Offered me a shot on his girlfriend if I looked the other way for his stealing. But the bastard ran away before I could get him in cuffs," Darius replies.

Peeta goes pale when he hears how Cray offered up Prim for sex. He takes a moment to compose himself before leaning forward and taking the photo of Prim out of his pocket. He smooths it down on the desk in front of Darius before looking directly at him.

"Her name is Primrose Mellark. She's nineteen and travelling with a guy called Owen Cray. Do you think you could ask the other sheriffs to keep an eye out for them? Send any news they come across?" Peeta asks.

Darius sighs as he reaches forward to take the photo off Peeta. He looks at it for a long moment before looking back at me. He sees me looking serious and takes a deep breath before turning back to Peeta.

"I can send her photo round the offices and police stations in District 12. I've already got something out for Cray. Maybe someone will have seen your sister," Darius says.

Relief fills Peeta's eyes and he looks over at me with a smile and leans back into his chair. I find myself smiling back at him and am happy that I have been able to help him in some way. Hopefully this will lead to finding Prim.

"Thank you so much. This will be a big help," I say.

Darius smiles at me as Peeta and I get up to leave. He gets up too and comes around to our side of the desk. I feel a light touch on my arm and I turn round to look at Darius.

"You know I am here for you whenever you need anything. Gale…" he begins.

But I shake my head cutting him off.

"I'm fine. This is all I need from you for now," I reply.

Darius doesn't look convinced.

"Why don't you come round for dinner with Leevy and I this weekend? She's just redecorated and is dying to show it off," he says.

I shake my head again.

"I'm visiting the Hawthornes this weekend. I didn't get a chance to see them a couple of weeks ago and I don't want to let them down again," I say.

Darius nods his head in understanding and sighs as he steps away.

"Okay. I guess I'll see you at the bar then," he says. He then turns to look at Peeta. "Nice to meet you, Peeta. But please don't get into any more fights."

Peeta gives him an awkward smile before telling him he'll try and we both turn to exit the sheriff's building.

We head back to the bar and I force Peeta to drink some water and eat some food before I try and wake up Uncle Haymitch. Peeta's appetite has returned somewhat and he wolfs down the burger and fries I give him. As I watch him eat I come up with an idea of how he can repay me for last night.

"I take it you can work an oven and a frier," I say.

Peeta gulps down a bit of his burger before stopping and looking back at me.

"I used to be a chef before I went looking for Prim. I can do a lot more than that," he replies.

I raise my eyebrows at him and nod my head impressed.

"Even better. Our chef quit two weeks ago and I still haven't found a replacement," I say.

Peeta looks up at me surprised.

"You're giving me a job now? Don't you remember that I was the guy that started a fight in your bar last night?" he says.

I let a smile cross my lips as I shake my head.

"After working with Uncle Haymitch you probably won't be thanking me," I say.

Peeta smiles at me and there is a short pause.

"Look. You'd be really helping me out. I need someone to cook the food and you need some source of cash. If you agree you can keep crashing on my couch and I can pay you a small wage," I say.

Peeta smiles at me again and even with all the bruises littering his face it still makes him look attractive. It's wide and bright and kind. The sight inexplicably warms me.

He takes a deep breath and wipes his fingers on a napkin. He sticks his hand out in front of him and looks me in the eye.

"You have got yourself a deal, Katniss Everdeen. When do I start?" he asks.

He's still smiling and I can't help smiling back at him. It is such an infectious smile but I get the feeling he hasn't had much to smile about in his life.

"You'll start today. But first things first, let's introduce you to Uncle Haymitch. He owns the bar," I say.

Peeta nods his head as he hops off his stool and follows me round to the back.

Uncle Haymitch didn't even make it to the couch last night. His head is slumped against the kitchen table with a glass of scotch curled into his hand. Thankfully there is no knife in his grasp today and I give the leg of his chair a good kick to wake him up.

Peeta's eyes go wide when he see the mess and smell of the room. The wooden floor is barely distinguishable underneath all the crap that litters the ground and the smell of stale alcohol, sweat and vomit fill the room. I really need to give it a deep clean but things with the bar have been busy and I have neglected Uncle Haymitch more than usual lately.

Uncle Haymitch grunts when I kick his chair but he does lift his head and turn to look in my direction. He squints his eyes when he sees Peeta standing beside me. He tilts his head to the side to get a proper look at him.

"Uncle Haymitch, this is Peeta Mellark. He's our new chef," I say.

Uncle Haymitch continues to look Peeta up and down before he sits up properly in his chair and takes a swig out of the glass in his hand.

"Well, he certainly can't work the bar with that face. He'd scare away all the customers and your scowl does a good enough job of that as it is, sweetheart,"Uncle Haymitch says.

"Yeah, just as your smell drives them away too," Peeta replies.

There is a moment of silence and I think Peeta has done it again and started another fight. Uncle Haymitch may be drunk most of the time but he was strong once upon a time and can throw a good punch when he wants to. However after a long moment Uncle Haymitch barks out a laugh and leans back into his chair.

"I like this one. You don't get too many honest people in this town. Do you want a drink, kid?" Uncle Haymitch asks.

Peeta grins back at him and nods his head. Uncle Haymitch reaches for another glass and pours Peeta a drink as he takes a seat. I stand looking at them in disbelief.

"I could do with another good drinking buddy round here. This one here doesn't touch the stuff. She's no fun," Uncle Haymitch says pointing his finger in my direction.

Peeta twists round to look at me with a raised eyebrow.

"You don't drink?" he asks.

I shake my head.

"Not when it makes men complete idiots. You two are perfect examples," I say.

I'm annoyed that Uncle Haymitch is making fun of me. Why does it matter if I drink or not? At least I don't drink myself into a coma every night or pick fights with men twice my size. I reach out to snatch the half empty bottle of scotch and pour the rest of its contents down the sink.

"You're just wasting our profits, sweetheart," Uncle Haymitch says.

I whip round to scowl at him but he just laughs. At least Peeta has the decency to look sheepish and he takes a tiny sip of his drink before putting the glass back down on the table and pushing it away.

"I'm going to set up. I'll let you two drink in peace," I say bitterly before storming out the room.

I'm in a foul mood as I prepare the bar for opening. Uncle Haymitch's teasing is nothing new but it bothers me that he is doing it in front of Peeta. I have my reasons for my choices and would like my chance to explain them rather than be heckled by an old man.

And it bothers me that Peeta so readily accepted a drink from my uncle. I can hear them laughing together in the back while I set everything up. I don't know why it annoys me so much that they are getting along. Maybe it is because for the first time I met someone I felt understood that feeling of loss and guilt. And yet it turns out he handles those feelings the exact same way as Uncle Haymitch; with the help of a bottle.

I am so pissed off that I don't turn round when I hear Peeta's footsteps as he comes back through.

"Your uncle has some great stories. Who knew you could get arrested for walking down the street wearing only a tutu and tiara?" Peeta says.

I continue to ignore him as I set out the tables. I'm in no mood for jokes even if they are at my uncle's expense. Peeta then walks around the counter until he is standing directly in front of me. I still refuse to look up at him but he speaks anyway.

"He told me what happened to your parents. I'm not going to say I'm sorry because I hate when people say that to me but I am sad that it happened. It sounds like you loved them a lot," he says.

I look up at him and am reminded of what drew me to him in the first place. We both know what it is like to lose someone we love. He doesn't give me empty words that mean nothing. He understands what it is like to feel pain.

I soften slightly towards him and nod my head. I straighten up so I am looking at him head on.

"I miss them. Sometimes I swear I can see them sitting at the dining table making fun of Uncle Haymitch or embarrassing me in front of Gale with stories from my childhood. That's what I miss the most," I say.

I've only ever told Gale that. I normally keep everything bottled up and don't let people in. But I find myself wanting to open up to Peeta. Trusting him already even though I have only known him a day.

Peeta nods his head in understanding.

"I get that too. I dream of Prim being back with me again and the two of us just doing the everyday mundane things. Arguing over which cereal to buy and whose turn it is to clean the toilet. I'd give anything to have that again," he replies.

"You'll get that again. We're going find Prim. At least one of us should get what we dream of," I say.

Peeta smiles gratefully and we share a small moment of mutual understanding. Then Peeta steps back and rubs his hands together.

"Okay, show me the kitchen. I bet you I can rustle up the best burger this town has ever seen!" he exclaims.

I laugh at his comment as I finish setting the tables and step round to meet him.

"You're cocky when you want to be," I say with a smile.

Peeta grins as he bends down to my eye level. The smile falls from my face slightly when I see how close he is standing to me.

"I'm always cocky when it comes to food. I might even get Haymitch enjoying my creations!" he replies.

I smile and shake my head at him before taking him through to the kitchen and showing him the ovens.

I don't know how he does it but Peeta makes a mean burger out of our meagre rations. He cooks the burgers just right so they are pink but not too raw. He makes his own tomato relish from scratch and scrambles our vegetables together to make a mouth-watering coleslaw to serve with it. It is so good that Uncle Haymitch even stops drinking to devour it. It seems Peeta Mellark is full of surprises.

Word soon spreads about the new burgers on the menu and people are already queuing up at the door waiting to try one. I have to send Uncle Haymitch out to buy more ingredients as everyone raves about the Peeta's creations.

I keep Peeta in the back though. Many people inquire about the new burger chef but after Peeta's run in with Thom last night he is not the most popular person in town. I don't want another fight.

However my good intentions are ruined when Peeta pops his head round to hand me two plates of burgers.

"What are you doing out here? I told you to stay in the back," I hiss as I take the plates off him.

Peeta shrugs his shoulders as he stuffs his hands in his pockets.

"You were taking a long time to come and get them. I thought I would help you out," he says.

I sigh as I shake my head and try to push him back through.

"Quick. Get to the back. Thom and Delly are in and I don't want a repeat of last night," I say.

Peeta nods his head in agreement and is just about to turn and go when Thom catches sight of him.

"Oi! Blondie! What you doing here? I told you to crawl back to where you came from," Thom calls out.

Peeta stops and tenses and I cringe as the confrontation I have tried so hard to avoid comes to a head. Peeta turns back to look at Thom and shows him the physical proof of the pain Thom inflicted night. Thom studies Peeta carefully as he looks at his handiwork.

"I'm just helping Katniss out. I don't want any more trouble," Peeta says.

Thom laughs and shakes his head. Delly stands beside him with an arm wrapped protectively round his waist. She stares at Peeta harshly as Thom turns his attention to me.

"You've got this guy working for you now? He's a creepy pervert. Has he tried to feel you up too? What would Gale say if he found him working here?" Thom asks.

I narrow my eyes at him.

"If you say another word Thom I'm going to have to ask you to leave," I state.

Thom lets out a disbelieving laugh before turning his eyes towards Peeta again. He narrows them at Peeta as he speaks.

"We're leaving anyway. I don't want to be in a place that hires scum like him," Thom sneers.

With that he turns and Delly follows him out the door. The whole bar is silent and are looking in Peeta's direction. Peeta stands looking bewildered out at them. A few people turn to talk to their friends and point in Peeta's direction.

"Pervert," someone calls out.

"Scumbag," someone else shouts.

More and more names are thrown in Peeta's direction and his shoulders slump further as more insults are called.

Peeta's fight with Thom is what many of the patrons have talked about today. We may be a small town but everyone is fiercely protective of it. They don't like new people coming in and stirring up trouble. It's why Prim and Cray didn't last long here. And now Peeta is the new public enemy number one. Everyone will back Thom because Peeta groped Delly first. It will take a while for the town to forget what happened last night.

But at least today Peeta is not looking for a fight. He turns and sulks back to the kitchen as the patrons in the bar continue to call him angry names.

When I finally manage to get back through to Peeta, I find him sitting at the kitchen table with his shoulders hunched and a shot glass in his hand. I've spent the last hour listening to angry patrons asking why I hired a guy like him. I've ignored them all. None of them have suffered the pain Peeta has and can't understand why he would do stupid shit when he is hurting.

They all say that they won't come back here if I keep him employed but Abernathy's is the only bar for twenty miles and they were all raving about his burgers earlier.

Peeta pours himself a shot of vodka, tips the contents down his throat and then goes to refill the glass. I sigh when I see the sight. This is not the way to cope.

I reach out to take the vodka bottle off him and place it out of reach.

"Drinking isn't going to make it better," I say.

Peeta looks up at me with a glare.

"I don't need you telling me what to do," he states.

There is a hard edge to his tone and I realise that he has been drinking for a while. I'm shocked that he has fallen back to the drink so easily. Only two hours ago he seemed happy and full of laughter as he busied himself making the burgers. We even shared some jokes. Now he is no mood for fun and teasing.

"I already deal with one drunkard every day. I'm not about to look after another one. If you are intent on getting yourself drunk every night then I'm going to have to ask you to leave and find Prim by yourself," I say.

"Fine. I didn't ask for your help anyway," he replies.

He curls his fist round the shot glass and tips the contents down his throat.

He infuriates me. I have been nothing but be nice to him. I took him home, gave him a job and offered to help find his sister and he is showing me no gratitude. I'm constantly being taken advantage of, by Uncle Haymitch, by the patrons on the bar and now by Peeta. I am sick of it. I understanding Peeta is hurting but they are just a bunch of town idiots who have no idea about the effects of pain and heartbreak

I shake my head at him, angry that he has disappointed me.

"You may not have asked for my help but you want it. Don't push away the one person who is willing to help you," I say.

Peeta whips his head round to look at me and he bangs his hand against the table.

"You only want to help me so you can feel better about yourself. You couldn't help your parents so you will try and help my sister. I'm not about to become your pet project!" he exclaims.

My eyes harden as I look at him and I cross my arms across my chest.

"You are a mean drunk. No wonder your sister ran away," I say.

My comment is like a slap to the face and he freezes as my words sink in. He slumps back into his chair and I realise that I have taken it too far. He didn't need further confirmation of how he failed his sister. I've just hurt him further.

I am about to open my mouth to apologise when Uncle Haymitch stumbles through. There is a young girl following behind him and he has to stop and rest against the door frame as he sways slightly on his feet. He looks between Peeta and me, sensing the tension in the room.

"Sorry for interrupting your argument but this girl says she wants to see you," he says.

The girl that was following him steps forward so she can be seen. I recognise her as Rue, the girl that works in the post office. She's just out of high school and has thick curly black hair and amber coloured eyes. She's tall and skinny with dark skin and delicate features that make her look much younger than her nineteen years.

I turn to her with a smile.

"What can I do for you?" I ask.

But Uncle Haymitch just shakes his head and points his finger in Peeta's direction.

"Not you, sweetheart. She wants to speak to the boy," he says.

I turn to Uncle Haymitch with a frown and Peeta looks surprised by the revelation. He turns to Rue with a quizzical look. Rue smiles at him nervously as she wrings her hands in front of her.

"Are you Peeta Mellark? Prim's brother?" she asks.

Peeta nods his head as he keeps his gaze fixed on Rue. Rue takes a deep breath as she looks around us all nervously.

"I was friends with Prim while she was here. She told me where she was going when she left," Rue states.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

 _Peeta_

"You knew Prim?" I ask.

I instantly sober up at this news. My argument with Katniss is forgotten. It almost seems too good to be true that this waif like girl standing in front of me has news of Prim. I had given up hope with this town. I thought no one knew of her.

The skinny girl nods her head in confirmation.

"I'm Rue. I work at the post office and became friends with Prim when she came in to post a parcel. Your sister is funny. She made me laugh. She does a pretty awesome Donald Duck impression," Rue replies.

She smiles at the memory and it causes a grin to spread across my face as well. We used to always impersonate cartoon characters when Mom was in one of her moods. It never failed to bring a smile to Prim's face.

"I taught her how to do that. When she was born Dad took me to the toy store to buy a gift for her. I chose this fluffy Donald Duck toy that was about the same size as her. She dragged that thing everywhere," I say nostalgically.

Rue smiles back at me and I grow a little sad that Prim is no longer that little girl with the duck toy. She was forced to grow up too quickly. I take a little comfort in the fact that she still clings onto one aspect of her childhood.

"She kept our friendship from Cray. He didn't like her talking to new people so she would sneak out to see me while he was passed out in the mornings," Rue says.

I sigh as I sink back into my chair. Cray has too much of a hold on my sister. I can't believe I stayed away and let a man control my sister's life.

"She spoke about you. How you used to hide her in the closet when your mom was awake and tell her silly stories to get her to go to sleep. She clearly idolised you as a kid so it always made me feel sad when her words weren't kind about you," Rue adds.

She looks nervous as she tells me this and can't look me in the eye. I think it genuinely distresses her to tell me that my sister didn't always say nice things about me.

I hang my head in shame. It's not Rue's fault. Leaving Prim is always going to be my biggest mistake. Even if I do find her I still think I am going to feel guilty about it. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to her.

"I know she hates me for leaving. I don't blame her. But I am trying to make it right now. I'm trying to find her so she can finally have a normal life," I reply.

Rue smiles at me and nods her head.

"That's good. Even though she would sometimes rant and rave about you, I think it was just to cover up how hurt she was. She loves you and I think deep down she wants to get away from Cray. Please find her. She's not in a good place," Rues says.

I nod my head in agreement. The guilt wraps around my heart even tighter. Prim never deserved this.

Katniss' voice suddenly cuts through the air and I snap my head up to look in her direction. She hasn't said anything for a long time and I know she is pissed at me for my drinking. I'm not sure if she is willing to help me anymore.

"You said you know where Prim went after this. Where did they go?" Katniss asks.

My eyes catch hold of hers, just briefly, and I give her a small smile of gratitude.

Rue nods her head as she looks at Katniss.

"She said they were going to this town called Hob. It's a few hours away from here and apparently Cray has some contact there. I think it was some sort of drug contact," Rue replies.

Her amber coloured eyes flick in my direction briefly and she looks nervous again as she shares this information. She is not sure if I know just how far Prim has fallen.

"That doesn't surprise me. Cray has got Prim in a lot of trouble," I say.

Rue nods her head in agreement.

"I didn't understand why she was with him. He was so controlling and possessive over her but she would do anything for him. They only left three months ago. There is probably a good chance you can find them and get her away from him," Rue says hopefully.

I look up and smile at her. This bit of information is more than I could have hoped for. I now know where Prim went after this. If I hurry I can get there quickly and find her. She could be safe, with me, tomorrow. I finally let a big excited smile spread across my face. I scrape back my chair and jump off it to go around to Rue. I put my arms around her and give her a big hug. I winch a little as I fold her in my arms and she presses against the bruises on my ribs but the pain is worth it for the information she has just given me.

"Thank you. This is the best news since I got here," I say.

Rue smiles as she pulls back.

"I really liked your sister. I hope you can find her and bring her back," Rue says.

I nod my head eagerly and thank her again for helping me. She smiles at me and waves a small goodbye to Katniss and Haymitch as she leaves the room.

There is silence in the kitchen for a moment and I can't stop the big grin that spreads across my face. I turn to look at Katniss and see she has a smile on her face too.

"Come on. You have a car right? We could get there before the sun gets up," I say as I begin moving my way out of the kitchen.

But as I go past, Katniss sticks out her hand and stops me.

"We can't go tonight. I've still got the bar and you're still drunk. I don't think you're in the best state to meet her. Go back to my apartment, have a sleep and sober up. We'll go find Prim first thing tomorrow," she says.

I let out an exasperated sigh as I turn to look back at Katniss. She is serious about staying tonight but I can also see just the hint of regret that we can't go right now. She wants to find Prim too but not like this. Reluctantly I nod my head and agree to wait until tomorrow morning.

Haymitch looks between us, befuddled. I told him a little of Prim and why I was in Seam earlier but he doesn't know the whole story. He stands shaking his head as he takes a sip of the whiskey in his hands.

"You're a lot more drama than you look," he replies before taking another sip of his drink and stumbling out the room.

* * *

I hide out in the kitchen until the closing of the bar. I don't want to have to walk through it and be thrown more insults by the people who all hate me for feeling up that girl last night. This town is very protective of its own.

I do stop drinking though. News of Prim has given me a new energy and focus. I can't have my brain fuddled by alcohol. I need to be at my most alert to find her. I spend the rest of the evening checking inventory of the kitchen cupboards and making a list of new ingredients to create more variety on the bar's menu. Katniss pops through every now and again but things are still a little awkward after our argument earlier. Neither of us say much to each other as she runs through to collect things.

At the end of the night we walk back to her apartment in silence and after making sure Haymitch collapsed on his bed tonight. I was surprised just how clean his bedroom is but I think it just shows how rarely he makes his way up there.

Katniss walks with her arms around herself to keep warm from the brisk midnight breeze. She doesn't look at me as we walk along.

"I'm sorry for implying Prim left because of you. That was harsh," she says.

I turn to look at her and she peeks a sideway glance at me. I shake my head.

"Don't be sorry about it. It's true. You heard how Rue said Prim hated me. I just have to accept the fact that if I hadn't left her she would unlikely be in this situation now," I reply.

We carry on walking in silence for a few more moments before I take a deep breath to apologise to this girl walking beside me.

"I'm sorry too. I went way over the line. I guess I suck at showing my appreciation," I say.

Katniss smiles at me and I am struck by how beautiful it makes her face in the moonlight. It softens her features and brightens her eyes. She looks more youthful than her usual dour demeanour that is heavy with sadness.

"Apology accepted. I really want to find Prim for you. We'll go first thing tomorrow," she says.

I smile back at her and nod my head. I'm excited at the possibility of seeing Prim again.

I don't sleep well that night. Partly due to nerves about what tomorrow might hold. Partly to do with the nightmares that plague my sleep.

I've always had nightmares. Ever since I can remember. It used to make Mom mad when I would wet the sheets due to particularly distressing ones. They only grew in frequency and intensity as I grew older and Mom grew drunker. They stopped for a while after I escaped that house but they have reared their ugly head in the last eighteen months and after I discovered what I let happen to Prim.

My dreams are filled with her tonight. Prim locked in our old house and screaming my name. Prim curled up in the bathtub as she sobs and asks why I am not coming for her. Prim throwing the Donald Duck toy I gave her into the fire and declaring this is what I get for leaving her. The images are bright and clear behind my eyes and make me toss and turn in my sleep.

I wake suddenly with a start and sweat on my forehead. Katniss' apartment is silent and the room dark with the drapes drawn. Slowly I pull myself up into a sitting position and then push myself off the couch to get a glass of cold water. The images of Prim are still fresh in my mind as I fill the glass. I take out Prim's marble and roll it along the counter top. My eyes follow it as I roll it back and forth and can almost hear Prim's giggle as we used to race marbles along the kitchen floor.

"I'm coming for you Prim. I'm going to get you back and try to make up for everything I didn't do the first time," I mutter into the darkness.

I don't really get back to sleep after that and I am up and dressed with breakfast on the table when Katniss comes through in the morning. I'm almost giddy, excited about the day ahead and the possibility of finding Prim again. I am eager for this day to start and greet Katniss with a big smile as I am practically bouncing with all my excited energy.

Katniss looks out at the spread of cereal and French toast in front of her and smiles.

"It's been a long time since someone has made breakfast for me," she says as she takes a seat and takes a bite of French toast.

"Gale never cooks you breakfast in bed?" I ask.

Katniss tenses at the sound of his name and drops her eyes to the plate in front of her.

"Gale can't cook," she replies.

She doesn't expand on it and it is clear that the discussion of her boyfriend is over. I frown a little confused about her reaction. I understand that she wants to keep her relationship private but she shuts down at any mention of him. It's rather odd.

I decide to sweep past it and sit down after I pour us both some coffee.

"So what's the plan for the day? How long will it take to get to Hob?" I ask.

Katniss finishes chewing her bite of toast before she looks back up at me.

"I think around four hours though we will probably want to stop on the way," she replies.

I let out a loud breath.

"Four hours. That is a long car journey. That can only mean one thing," I say.

Katniss scrunches up her eyebrows and looks at me quizzically.

"What?" she asks.

I let a cheeky grin spread across my face.

"Car games," I reply.

* * *

Katniss is a lot more reluctant to indulge in my games when we get into the car. She huffs and moans as we pack our bags into her run down Chevy **.** I have been begging and pleading with her for the last thirty minutes but apparently she thinks we are too old to be playing childish games.

"I'm just not a game person. I find them all pointless," Katniss states as we get in the car.

"Oh, come on! Where's your sense of fun? When was the last time you allowed yourself to smile and act like a big kid?" I ask.

Katniss sighs as she turns the key in the ignition and starts our journey to Hob. I get the sense that Katniss hasn't allowed herself to have some childish fun in a long time. Maybe not since her parents died. She grew up fast after that as she was thrown into a life that forced her to become more independent and look after an alcoholic uncle.

I can be like that at times. I never got to be a child when I was growing up, too busy trying to guess what Mom was going to do next. So when I left home I finally allowed myself to act silly and childish. I would eat all the junk food I would want, toilet paper a house on Halloween with my friends and inhale the helium out of balloons at birthday parties. It felt good to feel normal.

I haven't engaged in such silliness for a while. Discovering what had happened to Prim sucked out a lot of the fun. While I had been free and acting like an idiot my baby sister was left behind having to fend for herself. It didn't seem right.

But today feels like the perfect day to indulge in childlike behaviour again. We're off to find Prim. I am feeling positive about the day ahead. And I need an excuse to see Katniss' pretty smile again.

"Please, Katniss. It will help me take my mind off Prim. I'm going to be too anxious otherwise." I say.

I then turn to Katniss, stick out my bottom lip and giving her my best puppy dog stare. She turns to look at me and her face softens when she sees my face. She turns her eyes back to the road and lets out a heavy sigh.

"Fine. We can play," she concedes.

"Yes! It's going to be awesome. I promise," I exclaim.

Katniss smiles and shakes her head.

"I think I know how you get your way. That puppy dog look is adorable. I bet you have loads of girls falling at your feet with that look," she says.

"What look? This one?" I ask putting on my puppy dog face again.

Katniss turns to me again and laughs. I grin too and turn to face the road.

"It definitely tugs on the heart strings," she replies.

I smile again and we sit in silence for a few moments.

"Well okay, Mr Car Games Master. If you want to play so bad what game do you want to start with?" she asks.

I tap my finger on my chin for a few moments as I pretend to think long and hard about it. Katniss rolls her eyes at my over exaggeration. Eventually I remove my hand and turn to face her with a grin.

"Let's start with the license plate game," I state.

Katniss sighs again as I begin calling District numbers on the cars that go past. It takes a few moments for Katniss to join in but eventually she does and she starts calling out districts too.

Two hours into the journey and all reluctance to play silly car games from Katniss is lost. An incredibly intense game of I spy… starts up with each of us trying to spot the most obscure things.

"So it begins with B?" Katniss asks as we drive along a long dusty road.

"Yep," I reply bobbing my head.

Katniss pauses to think for a moment.

"Bird? Book? Box? Blue?" she asks.

I shake my head at all of them and grin.

"Bump in the road? Belt? The Beejees?" she asks again.

I burst out laughing.

"Katniss, I think most of the Beejees are dead," I say.

Katniss huffs as she grips the steering wheel tighter.

"Yeah, well they were on the radio a while back," she huffs.

I chuckle as I lean back and look at the view out the window. It is not anything particularly exciting. District 12 has a lot of barren land and we've been driving through dusty fields for the last hour of the journey.

"Bunny rabbit? Back seat? Bridge?" she asks again.

"Nope," I reply still staring out the window.

Katniss sighs again and shakes her head.

"I give up then? What begins with B?" she asks turning to face me.

I turn to meet her and let a grin spread across my face.

"Bolt," I reply.

Katniss' eyes grow wide with indignation.

"You did not see a bolt. Where exactly did you see one? You are just making things up now," she grumbles.

I put my hand on my heart in mock hurt.

"I can't believe you would accuse me of cheating. You barely know me," I say.

"Exactly," Katniss replies. "How do I know you are not a compulsive liar?"

I laugh as I turn to look back out at the road.

"We passed a pylon a few minutes back. There were definitely bolts on that," I say.

"How was I ever supposed to get that? We passed that pylon ages ago. This game is stupid," she declares.

I laugh again as I lean over to her.

"For someone who didn't care about car games before this journey began, you're getting awfully competitive now," I state with a grin.

Katniss narrows her eyes at me and I smile again.

"I just think all games should be played fairly," she states.

I smile as I pull back to sit properly in my seat.

"You're just a sore loser. But admit it. You're having fun," I say.

A small smile begins to spread across Katniss's face and I know I am breaking through to her.

"Maybe. Just a little," she says but the smile grows wider on her face.

"I guess I've not done anything because it's just fun in a long time. It always felt wrong knowing the people I love are gone. Don't you feel guilty for enjoying yourself?" she asks.

I nod my head.

"All the time. How can I have fun when Prim is in such a dire situation? But I think it is okay to let yourself smile every now and again. It doesn't mean I love her any less. I'm just trying to get through the day any way I can. Though that is a lot easier said than done," I reply.

Katniss nods as she becomes pensive.

"I find it almost impossible," she states.

I sit staring at her as she continues to drive in silence. I am only beginning to understand the true depths of this girl's pain. The loss of loved ones has hurt her deep and she is struggling to get by without them. She just doesn't let many people know that.

The car games stop after that and Katniss begins asking me about Prim. What is she like? What was her favourite food growing up as kid? What adventures did we get up to as children?

I haven't talked to anyone about Prim in a long time. I was so desperate to get out when I was eighteen that most of the friends I made afterwards didn't even know I had a sister. It's nice reminiscing about the good memories I have of Prim. Katniss loves the story about how Prim and I used to pretend we were superheroes that flew about the house saving all her teddy bears. I don't tell Katniss that we created those identities so we could pretend to be someone much braver and stronger. It was our way of escape.

Katniss even shares some stories about her parents as she grew up. She didn't have any brothers or sisters so her dad became her partner in crime. They would spend hours in the woods fighting goblins while reciting all the times tables. Her dad was a real math geek.

I like the look on her face as she talks about them. Her face is softer and more relaxed. She has this glow in her eye as she retells memories of good times. It is only after she has finished retelling the stories that the sadness appears again.

We finally arrive in Hob just after lunch. Katniss explains it is larger than Seam and is the main shopping centre in the area. A huge open air market makes up the centre of the town and people come from miles around to buy and sell local produce. Sunday is one of its busiest market days and hordes of people squeeze through the narrow walk ways and push past each other to get the best market deals.

We manage to find a parking space a ten minute walk away and jump out to head in the direction of the market.

"I think the market is the best place to start. We can ask the stall owners if they have seen her," Katniss says.

I nod my head in agreement as we follow the swarm of people towards the market.

There is a lot of hustle and bustle inside the market and I am pushed and shoved as we make our way inside. I grow a little worried for Katniss because she is so small and slim but she has a lot of inner strength and is soon pushing past people and weaving her way through the crowd. I stick close behind her until we reach a small gap in the crowd and a stall that doesn't seem to have anyone waiting at it.

Katniss and I push our way to the small fruit and veg stall and greet the owner with a warm smile. She is an ageing old women whose grey hair is scraped back into a tight bun with a shawl round her head. The women has so many wrinkles it is almost impossible to make out her features but grey eyes shine out of her face and hint at a slightly mischievous side.

I dig in my jeans pocket to find the picture of Prim and present it to the old woman.

"Have you seen this girl at all? Her name is Primrose. Or Prim and she came here with an older guy with red hair?" I ask.

At the mention of Cray the old woman's face falls and grows dark.

"I've seen them alright. That pretty girl seduced my grandson and then stole his watch and wallet while he was sleeping. Her boyfriend then barged his way into my friend's house and took off with all her jewellery. She was ninety years old and broke a hip when he pushed her to the ground to get in. He even stole her late husband's wedding ring. It is despicable what people will do for drug money. They caused nothing but trouble," the woman replies bitterly.

My heart sinks as I hear what Prim got up to. I can't believe she would sleep with a guy just to steal his money. Cray doesn't surprise me so much. He was always a thug but I am embarrassed that my sister is associated with him. I know deep down the little girl I knew would be horrified by her actions.

Katniss throws me a worried look before she turns back to the old woman.

"Are they still here? Did the police catch up with them?" she asks.

The woman shakes her head.

"The cops never got a hold of them. They were sneaky when they needed to be. I think they cleared out a few weeks ago," she replies.

My heart plummets further. I was so sure Prim would be here. It hadn't been that long since she left Seam. But once again I am too late. I've failed her again.

I look back up at the women with pleading eyes.

"Are you sure? Are you sure they are not just hiding somewhere?" I ask.

The old woman must see the desperation in my eyes as her face softens and she looks at me sympathetically. I feel Katniss hook her arm around mine and give it a little squeeze. Her other hand begins to rub soothing circles on my back.

"How do you know her, boy? Is she close to you?" the old woman asks.

I nod my head.

"She's my sister. I've been looking for her for the last year. I abandoned her once before and I don't want to do it again," I say.

Katniss gives my arm a squeeze again. I hang my head as the disappointment washes me. This search for Prim is becoming like a wild goose chase.

"I'm sorry. But she is lucky that she has got someone who loves her and is willing to find her. Many young girls like that don't," the old woman says.

I smile at her gratefully and thank her for her help. She insists on giving us a punnet of strawberries for free as a consolation for not having better news. Katniss takes them with a smile and thanks her again before we head off to see if anyone else has heard of Prim.

I almost wish I didn't ask. It seems most people in Hob remember Cray and Prim in town. Most are pretty angry and share stories of thieving, vandalism and disrupting the peace. The most disturbing stories are the ones they tell me about the times Cray used Prim to get money. The most tolerable ones are when Prim seduces a man just to steal from him but the worse ones include her offering herself in return for some hard cash. I run and throw up behind a bush when one grubby man tells me it was the best fifty dollars he ever spent.

Katniss follows me outside and rubs a comforting hand on my back as I expel the contents of my stomach. I am left breathing heavily as I look at the ground and try to get the image of Prim and that man out of my head.

Eventually I straighten up and let out a shaky breath. Katniss looks at me worriedly as she clutches my arm tightly and continues to rub soothing circles on my back. I cling to her as I let the tremors in my body come to a stop.

"We'll find her. This is just a small setback," she says.

I pull away from her and shake my head.

"A small setback? Katniss, my sister is selling herself for drug money! I need to find her now," I reply.

"It's bad. I know. But you have to stay strong and focus. They're not being subtle when they enter each town. Someone is going to know where they are for real," she says.

I'm shaking my head as images of Prim pimping herself and offering sex for money fill my head. The nauseous felling returns in my stomach as I imagine Cray laughing and counting the money Prim brings in. I just want to forget I know all about it.

"I need a drink," I state as my eyes zone in on the bar at the end of the road.

Katniss turns to look in the direction of my stare and shakes her head fiercely when she sees the bar.

"Drinking isn't going to solve your problems right now," she says.

I turn to look at her and see the desperation in her eyes. She doesn't want me to go into the bar. She doesn't want me to drink myself into a stupor. The look shocks me. It shocks me that she cares so much about what I do.

So it is almost with regret when I say;

"It's the only way I know how to cope."

* * *

 **A/N: Poor Peeta. His day turned bad pretty quickly. It's going to take a long time to find Prim.**

 **Thanks to everyone you has supported this story so far. I hope you are still enjoying it. And a huge thank you to my Beta, LavenderVanilla for all her help so far.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 _Katniss_

I watch him trudge towards the run down bar at the end of the street. My heart clenches as his last words ring in my ears.

" _It is the only way I know how to cope."_

Do any of us know how to cope with our losses? I know I haven't figured it out. I still feel the sting of those I loved every day. But I do know drink is not the answer. I've watched my uncle fall further and further into its murky depths and as every day goes past it gets harder and harder for him to come into the light again. It saddens me to think Peeta is heading in the same direction.

He looks so defeated as he walks towards the bar. I know he won't find any consolation in there and in this mood he is likely to go looking for a fight again. The bruises are still fresh from his run in with Thom. A protective urge I didn't think I would feel for him suddenly runs through my body and I know I can't stand here and watch him succumb to the alcohol that has ravaged my uncle's life. I watch him go into the bar before I finally get my feet working and dash after him.

I burst into the small bar and scan the surroundings in search for him. I spot him already slumped on a stool at the bar with a glass of whiskey in his hand. He goes to pick up the glass and tip the contents back when I rush over and put my hand in front of him.

"Stop. You don't want to do this," I say.

He knocks the glass against my arm and some of the amber liquid splashes down my hand. Slowly he puts the glass back down and looks back at me.

"That's easy for you to say. You don't drink. You don't understand the lure of it," he says.

I shake my head fiercely at him and grab hold of the glass.

"Does alcohol really make it any better? Does it really stop the nightmares and allow you to wake up the next day guilt and trouble free?" I ask.

Peeta keeps hold of my eye for a moment before he averts them to the bar and begins tracing the woodgrain patterns. I know I've hit a nerve with this last comment. I may not have touched a drop of alcohol myself but I've lived with Uncle Haymitch long enough to know its effects.

Drinking doesn't actually bring him any solace. It traps him in this dark world where his nightmares are worse and his ghosts haunt him daily. If he stops drinking the hallucinations from the withdrawal are so bad that he lashes out at invisible monsters. It's why he sleeps with a knife in his hand. I know he wakes every morning with the bitter taste of regret and guilt after his previous night's pursuits.

It seems Peeta can relate to this and refuses to look me in the eye. He's embarrassed by the truth of the situation. But I'm not going to give up on him. Not when his sister needs him strong and healthy. And I won't stand back and watch another person fall into the depths of despair drink can bring.

I move in closer to Peeta and duck my head down so I am level with him. I need him to see that this is not the way to cope. I need him to understand where he is heading if he carries down this path.

"You want to know why I don't drink? It's because I see what it does to my Uncle Haymitch. And I may not have all the answers but I don't want to end up like him. Angry, bitter and full of self-loathing," I say.

I've grabbed his attention and he turns to look at me. But getting his attention is the easy part. Now I need to persuade him to leave the drink and walk away from the bar.

"Did he tell you anything about himself while you were chatting last night? Did he tell you what drove him to the bottle?" I ask.

Peeta shakes his head and waits patiently for me to continue. I am not used to telling my uncle's story. Everyone in Seam already knows and I am not entirely sure Uncle Haymitch would want me to tell his story to a virtual stranger. But he told Peeta about my parents and my uncle's story may be just enough to convince Peeta that this is not the right path to take.

I take a deep breath before telling the story that has been haunting my uncle for the last twenty years.

"He had a wife. Maysilee. She was my mum's best friend just like my dad was Uncle Haymitch's. They all grew up together and ran about town creating mischief. I don't remember my Aunt May much but I do remember the smile on her face whenever she saw Uncle Haymitch. And he was always smiling too. Always touching her. Kissing her. My parents used to joke that their behaviour was inappropriate around a five year old. They opened the bar together and everyone thought they would be the centre of the town for years to come," I say.

Peeta listens carefully and keeps his eyes on me. I can see him struggling to match the image of the man I am describing with the surly man he met last night.

"But when I was five, Aunt May began complaining of abdomen and back pain. She went to the doctor and after many tests she was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. It had already spread to her liver and lungs. There was nothing they could do. They just sent her home to die. To have one last Christmas at home. She died New Year's Eve. Six weeks after the initial diagnosis," I continue.

Peeta looks at me with solemn eyes and I take a breath before telling the last part of the story.

"I remember being really confused when my uncle suddenly started ignoring me. It was only as I grew older that I realised how much pain he was in. It was like his life ended the day Aunt May's did."

"Mum and Dad tried to help him but he owned a bar. He had an unlimited supply of alcohol. It is an easy escape even if everything in the bar reminds him of Maysilee. The bar has remained exactly the same since the day she died. Even though it pains him to be reminded of her it pains him more to forget about her completely. It only grew worse when my parents died. In the space of eleven years he lost his wife, sister and best friend."

Peeta looks at me intently as he lets all this information sink in. A sense of understanding flashes through his eyes and I can sense I am getting through to him.

"Alcohol hasn't made my uncle any happier. It only makes him lonelier. He's more isolated and he hates himself on a regular basis. He knows Aunt May would be disappointed to see the man he has become but he has fallen so far that he doesn't know how to come back," I state.

Peeta stares at me for a moment before his eyes flick down to look at of the glass of whiskey in front of him. He gazes at it for a long moment before turning back to look at me.

"You really don't want me to have this drink," he finally says.

I shake my head.

"I can't watch another person succumb to it. It's not too late for you," I reply.

Peeta continues to look at me and a small smile appears on his lips.

"No one has ever cared enough about me to ask me to stop," he says.

"Well, I care," I reply.

Peeta shakes his head in disbelief. It pains me to know he's never had a person to look out for him. We all need people to love and support us. I hate to think what type of childhood he had to make him so wary of others' kindness.

His eyes flick back to look at the drink again and I will him to step away. I hold my breath as I wait for him to make his choice.

He seems to stare at the glass for an eternity and I begin to doubt that I have convinced him. Maybe he is further down the dark path than I thought. But then he takes a deep breath, pushes the glass away and gets off the stool.

"Okay. Let's go. I don't have to have a drink tonight," he says.

I can't stop the wide grin spreading across my face. Pride warms my chest.

"Really?" I ask in disbelief.

Peeta shrugs his shoulders.

"If you care enough to try and stop me I figure I should care enough to listen to you," he replies.

I let a relieved smile cross my face. It surprises me just how relieved I feel about this. I have known Peeta for less than forty eight hours. I normally don't even tolerate strangers let alone care about them. But Peeta is different. I feel like I understand him in a way not many people can.

He's still disheartened about the whole Prim situation though. Any hope of good news about her has been dashed. Instead we've learned the true depths of the trouble she has got herself into. Without alcohol as a distraction Peeta will probably dwell on her more than he wants to.

I offer to buy him dinner at a local diner before we find a motel to crash in for the night. I'm emotionally drained after today and know Peeta will be feeling even worse. It's best we recharge our batteries before tackling the four hour drive back to Seam tomorrow.

Peeta is subdued all throughout dinner and barely talks to me as we walk to the nearby motel. I am not the most social person and am not used to filling long silences with random anecdotes so we walk into the motel in silence. Nothing is said as I get the room key, walk to our room and dump our bags on the bed.

The room is hardly inspiring after a disappointing day. The walls are a dirty beige colour and the sheets and drapes a rather unappealing mustard colour but the room is at least clean, though very small. The twin beds are so close together that they practically make a double. A small electric fan sits on a rickety old desk and blasts out a feeble amount of cool air while an old lightbulb flickers above us.

Peeta surveys the room for a moment but he just looks lost. My heart clenches and my arms itch to reach out and comfort him.

I have never dealt well with seeing people in pain. Gale used to say that the easiest way to get a kiss out of me was for him to pretend to be hurt. But I haven't known Peeta long enough to know the best way to comfort him.

I tentatively step around one of the beds to stand in front of him. He looks at me but there is still defeat in his eyes. He may have turned away a drink tonight but that hasn't made him feel any better about the situation.

"We're not going to give up. As soon as we get back we'll start posting things on missing person blogs. We'll spend our days off going to nearby towns and putting up posters. We'll find her," I say determinedly.

Peeta sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

"I'm just so tired, Katniss. I've been trying to find her for a year and she just seems to get further and further away," Peeta replies.

How feelings have been reversed since this morning. At the start of the day he was so positive and upbeat. Where is the man who made me play silly car games, and even got Uncle Haymitch to laugh, gone? I have caught glimpses of what Peeta is like without the pain and guilt over losing Prim. He's funny and charming and nothing like this defeated man in front of me now. I wish he could see it is that person that is going to find Prim.

I take another step towards him and grip onto his arms tightly. This forces him to look at me and he looks surprised by my determination.

"But you're not alone now. You've got me and I'm not going to leave you. We are going to find Prim. Together," I say.

Peeta looks at me for a long moment and I think he is going to brush me off again but instead he steps forward and folds me into his arms. I am momentarily surprised and can't remember what to do with my arms at first. He squeezes me close and buries his nose in my hair before my body finally remembers what to do and I wrap my arms around him.

"Thank you. I might not always be easy to be with. I can still get really depressed about Prim but I am so grateful that you are doing this," Peeta whispers.

I smile as I give him a squeeze in return and we stand holding each other for I don't know how long. It is strange at first. I haven't hugged a man that wasn't Gale in a long time and at first it feels all wrong. Peeta isn't as tall as Gale but he is broader. It takes me a minute to adjust to his different size. But after a while it doesn't feel strange. It feels nice. Warm. Safe and I pull him in closer to me. I didn't expect to feel so comfortable in another man's arms.

Eventually we pull away and Peeta announces he is going to take a shower before he goes to bed. I nod my head before I let him go and prepare myself for bed. I can still feel the ghost of Peeta's arms around me as I put on my pyjamas and brush out my hair. I can feel the solidness of his chest pressed against mine and the smell of musk in my nostrils. I blush when I realise I have caught myself thinking about another man in this way. I look in the direction of the bathroom and can hear the shower jets lashing against the tiles. I have to shake my head to stop myself from wondering about the naked man who stands underneath it.

I am already underneath the sheets, with them tucked up right to my chin, when Peeta comes out of the bathroom smelling of mint and scrubbing at the water droplets in his hair. I look down to stop myself from staring at him and he says goodnight before getting into bed and turning off the light.

The beds are so close that the smell of mint is even more over powering as he lies down facing me. The feeling of his arms around me resurface again and I shift about uncomfortably on the bed. I turn my back to him and close my eyes to avoid the man lying beside me.

Peeta doesn't say anything else and soon I hear the sounds of his shallow breaths indicating that he has fallen asleep. I screw my eyes shut desperate to find some sleep and to forget about the feel of the arms of the man beside me.

But it's no use. I am too aware of him. He's too close and his smell too over powering. I just can't forget that he is there. In an attempt to make myself feel better I scramble about my purse until I find my phone and find the last voice mail Gale left me. I just need to hear his voice to calm me and remind me who I love.

I press the button and hold the phone tightly as Gale's voice rings out through my ear. My heart aches in longing for him as his cheery tones filter through.

" _Hey, Catnip. You better not eat anything before you come visit. Mom has made a massive feast for Posy's birthday. We may not be able to move after we have eaten it all. Everyone is getting impatient to see you. Me most of all. I miss you. I love you so much and can't wait to hold you in my arms again. Don't take too long to get here."_

A tear drops down my cheek as I listen to it. I miss him too. I don't know what he would make of me helping Peeta. It is so out of character for me but Gale would never stop me doing anything I wanted to do. I know he would understand why I was helping Peeta.

But I still feel guilty about spending time with another man. I hit play again and listen to the sound of Gale's voice again. The familiar feelings of love and longing for him appear in my heart and soon it is no longer Peeta's arms I remember having wrapped around me. I fall asleep to the sound of Gale's message and forget about the blond man sleeping beside me.

* * *

When I wake the next morning I find Peeta already up and dressed and sitting on a chair looking at me. I turn to the old digital alarm clock on the bedside table and notice that it is only 6.30 in the morning. I knock my phone as I stretch out my tired limbs and it tumbles to the ground. Peeta hears the thump of my phone hitting the floor and quickly bends down to pick it up for me.

"Here you go," he says as he passes it back to me.

I smile at him gratefully as I clutch the phone to my chest. The ghost of Peeta's arms still linger and I clutch to the one link I have here to Gale.

"You're up early," I comment as I turn round to face Peeta.

He looks tired and there are dark circles under his eyes. He gives me a small smile as he leans back into his chair and runs a hand through his curls.

"Yeah. Sorry if I woke you. I woke up at four and couldn't get back to sleep after that. I just tossed and turned," he replies.

He doesn't expand on what caused him to wake so early in the morning but I can guess it was not happy dreams. I recognise that tired and slightly lost look in his eyes. I often see that look in mirror after I wake from a rough night's sleep. He's realised that although he escaped the nightmare, there is still no relief in waking.

But I don't push him to tell me about it. Nightmares are very private things. I don't share mine with anyone so I don't expect him to share his with me either.

"You didn't wake me. I often wake early too," I reply.

Peeta catches the look in my eye that shows him I understand the troubles with sleep. We share a smile of understanding before he lets out a loud breath and stands up from the chair.

"Do you mind if we just hit the road? I don't want to be in this town any longer," he says.

I nod my head in understanding as I get up to grab a towel and new change of clothes. I tell Peeta I'll just have a quick shower first and leave him to pack up the remainder of our stuff.

Thirty minutes later we are on the road again and heading back towards Seam. Peeta is a lot quieter in the car today and I find his silence unnerving. He was so full of life and youthful excitement yesterday. It saddens me to see him so despondent now.

"So what car game do you want to play today? Twenty questions? Or do you want to cheat at I spy again?" I ask.

This musters a small smile from Peeta but he still shakes his head.

"I'm not really in the mood today. I might try to catch up on some of that sleep I lost last night," he replies.

The disappointment hits me hard. I may have been reluctant to engage in his childish games yesterday but I ended up enjoying myself. I think maybe some silly distraction is just what Peeta needs to get over his disappointment with Prim. But he looks at me with slightly pleading eyes to stop me from pushing him further. Reluctantly I nod my head and turn back to face the road.

I don't turn to look back at Peeta as we drive along in silence but I can feel his gaze on me. I think he feels bad for disappointing me. He's quiet for a long time before speaking again.

"You were right about last night. I'm glad that I didn't have that drink **.** I would have only woken up feeling worse this morning. I mean I still feel disappointed but at least I didn't wake up with regret as well. Thank you for stopping me," he says.

I turn back to him and give him a smile.

"It's no problem," I reply honestly.

Peeta gives me a smile in return before I turn back to look at the road.

"I don't know what I did to deserve your kindness but no matter what I do or say, I'm grateful. Just know that I'm not used to it so even if I push you away it's not because I don't care," he replies.

I nod my head as we carry on driving down the road. I can relate to that. I've pushed people away too. You don't want to feel like a burden to other people.

"You don't need to explain it to me, Peeta. I understand exactly how you feel," I reply.

Peeta still looks at me as he nods his head.

"Yeah. I think you do," he replies.

* * *

Peeta ends up sleeping for most of the journey back. He looks more innocent in his sleep. The sadness doesn't cloud his features as much and it would be easy to mistake him for a care free young man. I hope no nightmares plague his sleep.

Eventually we arrive back in Seam and I park just outside the bar. Peeta blinks the sleep out of his eyes before straightening up and turning to look at me.

"Do you want to come in for some lunch? Your shift doesn't start for another hour," I ask.

Peeta gives me a tired smile and shakes his head.

"If you don't mind I think I need an hour by myself. A lot has happened in the last two days and I just need some time to process it all," Peeta replies.

I nod my head in understanding and wish I could take away some of his pain. I long for the man that made me laugh while he tried to cheat at I spy…

"I'll see you in an hour," Peeta adds as he gets out the car.

I watch him get out and walk away from the main street in Seam. His head is hung low and his pace slow. I am almost disappointed that he would prefer to be alone.

Eventually Peeta disappears from view and I sigh as I force myself out the car. As I step out onto the sidewalk I am met by the sight of Uncle Haymitch leaning against the bar door. I'm surprised that he is up at this hour but he still has a bottle in his hand and an amused smirk on his face.

"You two have another lovers' tiff? That is the second one in two days," Haymitch says.

I scowl at him.

"It is not a lovers' tiff," I say getting all defensive.

I don't see Peeta in that way. Uncle Haymitch chuckles before he takes a swig from the bottle.

"Whatever you say, sweetheart. But he just brushed you off and you were looking at him all longingly," he says waving his hand in the direction Peeta just went.

I huff as I fold my arms across my chest.

"I'm just helping Peeta find his sister. That's it," I reply.

Uncle Haymitch bobs his head as he swirls the liquid in the bottle.

"Yeah, he told me about that. Think he must have had a pretty tough home life. Did you see the cigarette burns on his arms?" Haymitch asks.

I have seen the burns. Scars on his arms that have been there for years and not just acquired recently in a bar fight. He hasn't told me about his home life but it doesn't take a genius to work out that it wasn't good. That his mother probably wasn't the loving figure she should have been.

"The kid may be more fucked up than either of us," Uncle Haymitch adds.

"At least Peeta can refuse a drink," I snap.

Uncle Haymitch looks shocked by my sharp reply. He didn't expect me to be so defensive of Peeta but it bothers me that he of all people is making assumptions about him. Uncle Haymitch eyes me carefully as he tries to figure me out.

"You're awfully protective over someone you just met. This isn't like you. You don't let people in easily," he says.

I look away from him. He is beginning to annoy me. He hasn't paid that much attention to my life for the last twenty years. I don't need to explain my actions with Peeta to him.

Uncle Haymitch watches me for a moment but he soon realises that I am not biting. I'm not going to get into a discussion with him about Peeta and he shakes his head before heading back to find more drink in the bar.

I am left standing on the sidewalk looking in the direction Peeta walked off in. I can understand why Uncle Haymitch is surprised with my new friendship with Peeta. I've surprised myself in just how defensive I got over Peeta just then.

The thought scares me a little. I haven't let anyone get close to me for a long time.

* * *

 **A/N: So I hope this chapter explains Haymitch a bit more and that it is becoming clear how Katniss and Peeta are going to help it each. They are far from fine at the moment but they are beginning to take steps in the right direction.**

 **I know a lot of people have questions about Gale and you won't have to wait too much longer for answers. The next two chapters are going to look closely at Katniss' relationship with him.**

 **Once again, thanks to my Beta, LavenderVanilla for helping me get these chapters put out on time and thanks to everyone that is following/reviewing this story. I appreciate all your feedback.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Warning: There are mentions of abuse in this chapter**

* * *

Chapter 6

 _Peeta_

I sing along to the catchy tune on the radio, bouncing to the beat of the song, while I flip burgers in the pan. I may not be the best singer in the world but it helps me while I cook. It is the only thing that stops me growing stressed and frantic as the list of orders keep flooding in.

There is a loud crash and some rather unsavoury curse words come from just outside the door. It isn't long before Haymitch comes tumbling into the room. He falls against a chair and rubs a hand across his head. I turn to him with a bright smile as he slumps down onto the chair.

"Good evening. I left you some food on the table. Might help that headache a bit," I reply.

Haymitch glares at me. He's been passed out all day. A song came on in the bar last night which caused him to freeze for a moment. He began staring at the juke box where the song was playing from before letting out a scream of anguish and throwing a bottle against the wall. He then proceeded to tip tables over until Katniss and I managed to restrain him and he drank an entire bottle of bourbon in half an hour. It was only after that Katniss explained the song was the one he danced with Maysilee at their wedding. This is the first time we have seen him since.

"Your God damned singing woke me up! Why do you have to be so fucking chirpy whenever I wake up?" he asks.

I smile as I shrug my shoulders. I have learned it is best to ignore whatever Haymitch did last night. He doesn't like reminders of his bad behaviour.

"You should count yourself lucky. Not just anyone gets to hear me sing," I reply.

"They're the lucky ones. You sound like a thousand tones of crap. I'd pay you to stop singing," Haymitch grumbles.

"Well if my sources are correct, you're not a bad musician yourself. I heard you used to be in a band in your younger days," I say.

Haymitch shakes his head at me. Many of the locals have told me how he and Katniss' dad used to perform in the bar in the weekends. Apparently Mr Everdeen's soulful tones and Haymitch's soft guitar playing were the hit of the town.

"I haven't played in so long that I don't even remember the chords. And I don't think I could get my hands to stop shaking long enough to play," Haymitch replies.

I smile at him sadly. I get the feeling that playing guitar just reminds him of the best friend and wife he lost.

Haymitch doesn't make further comment and turns his eyes to the plate of burger and fries on the table. He frowns when he sees it. He picks up a fry and examines it suspiciously.

"What the hell is this? Why is this fry orange?" he asks.

I grin again as I push a pot of sour cream towards him.

"Sweet potato fries. Great with sour cream and chive dip," I reply.

Haymitch looks at me incredulously.

"Sweet potato fries? I'm not on some fucking diet. I want some regular God damned fries with ketchup!" he says.

"You're lucky I saved some for you. They're proving very popular in the bar. I'm struggling to keep up with the demand," I reply.

Haymitch shakes his head as he takes the fry and points it in my direction.

"This bar has only ever served burgers and _regular_ fries. You've come in and changed the whole menu! I saw fucking couscous in the fridge yesterday!" Haymitch exclaims.

I grin as I shake my head. I know why Haymitch is reluctant to change. This was the place he built with Maysilee. He wants to keep it a relic to her but that's not healthy for him. Katniss has let me have complete creative control and allowed me to expand and improve the menu since I started working here. Haymitch grumbles every time he sees something new on the menu but he always backs off once he sees the dollars in the till.

"Food sales have doubled in the last six weeks. You have no competition in this town and yet the only reason you have managed to stay afloat these last few years is because of the dedication and love Katniss has for you. The bar is finally pulling in the money it should be," I reply.

Haymitch sighs and leans back in his chair. He reaches for a glass of bourbon and swirls the liquid round in the glass before taking a drink.

"Sometimes I think you're changing too much, boy, but I can see your intentions are in the right place," he admits.

I grin, relieved I have placated him for now. I like working here. Haymitch may be grumpy and surly most of the time but he is funny when he wants to be. And I love expanding the menu myself. It may not by fine dining but I have loved trying recipes and seeing the reactions of the residents of this town. After a shaky arrival the town's people are slowly beginning to accept me into their fold. I think most are scared of Katniss' scowl whenever she catches one of them bad mouthing me and many have fallen too in love with my food to hate me.

Katniss comes bursting through the door a moment later. She looks a bit stressed and many hairs fly free from her braid.

"Peeta, do you have those chicken wings ready for the table twelve? They're getting pretty impatient," she says.

I smile at her broadly as I turn to pick up the plate of chicken wings and give them to her.

"Here they are. I'm just about to finish up the burgers for table nine. I'll bring them out in a minute," I reply.

Katniss gives me a grateful smile as she takes the plate off me. A jolt of electricity courses through my body as our fingers lightly brush against each other when I pass the plate to her. I am left looking dumbly at Katniss as a result but it doesn't seem to have affected her in any way.

"Thank you so much. It's mad out there. People are going crazy for your sweet potato fries," she says.

I regain my senses and turn to give Haymitch a triumphant grin but he just scowls at me. He then turns to Katniss.

"No hello for me, sweetheart?" he asks.

"I don't have time for hellos. Maybe if I had a waitress to serve the tables I would have time for a few words," she replies.

"We're not hiring anyone else. He's bad enough," Haymitch says pointing in my direction.

Katniss turns to look at me and shakes her head.

"Well the alternative is that you sober up enough to serve some tables," she replies.

Haymitch scowls at her before Katniss rushes out to serve the impatient customers outside. I watch her go with a smile on my face, thinking how she is the only person who can get away with talking to Haymitch like that. The smile is still on my face as I turn back to plate up the burgers for the table nine.

There is silence for a minute as I add the garnish to the burgers and Haymitch sips from his glass. After a while I hear him clear his throat from behind me.

"Don't think I don't see how you look at her," Haymitch says.

I freeze before composing myself and relaxing my shoulders.

"You must still be a little drunk. I don't look at Katniss in any particular way," I reply.

I don't turn round to look at him, too focused on the food in front of me, but I can picture the smirk on his face as I say this.

"Of course you do. You go all gooey eyed when she comes in and I saw how you reacted when her hand touched yours briefly just then. You've got it bad for her," he says.

I take a deep breath as I finish up the burgers and turn to face him with the plates in hand.

"Katniss is my friend. And that's all I ever want her to be," I say.

Haymitch chuckles to himself.

"You're not a half bad actor, boy. You keep convincing yourself that it's true," he replies.

I sigh as I shake my head and turn to go out to the bar. I'm not going to argue with him. He is much too stubborn. I hear him continuing to laugh to himself as I walk out the room.

Katniss stands behind the bar as she takes orders and makes drinks for the large amount of patrons in the bar. She has to be the most naturally beautiful girl in the world. She almost never wears any make up and yet her skin always appears flawless and bright. And then there are the rare occasions I manage to get her to laugh and the sadness disappears behind her eyes. Her smoky eyes suddenly become brighter and twinkle in a way that makes my heart flutter. There is nothing better than to see her smile.

She turns to me with one of those smiles as I make my way out and my heart does a little flip at the sight. I don't have her attention for long though as the next customer is already demanding to be served. I fight my way through the crowd of people to deposit the burgers off at table nine.

Haymitch is wrong about one thing. I am not trying to convince myself that I don't have a crush on Katniss. I know I do. I think I have been attracted to her from the moment we met and my feelings have only developed for her since we've become friends. I don't have to explain myself to Katniss. She knows without even having to ask because she's experienced loss too. I think she may be the first person that has ever understood me.

We've spent the last six weeks looking for Prim. On our days off we drive to a nearby town, ask around and put up posters of Prim. So far most places have seen no sign of Prim and the ones that have only have bad stories to tell. We post messages on missing person blogs but so far that has only resulted in a bunch of hoaxes from people who like attention. It is disheartening as the weeks go by without any further leads and I know the only reason I don't fall into a pit of despair is because of Katniss.

She is always there with reassuring words and new plans of action. She knows when to leave me alone and when to force me to face the world. She and the bar have been great at distracting me from my guilt over Prim. For the first time in my life I have a place and people I look forward to seeing every day.

So I do know that the butterflies in my stomach and the flutter in my heart whenever I see her mean I like her but I also know that it's a no go area. She's got a boyfriend. Though I never see him. She goes to stay with him and his family every other week but he never returns the favour. Gale is a bit of a mystery and she doesn't like talking about him. I am not even sure he knows she is helping me.

But even if she didn't have a boyfriend it wouldn't matter. I am not in the right place to have that sort of relationship. My main focus is finding Prim. I don't have time for anything else.

I smile as I hand over the burgers and they thank me before I turn to try and get back to the kitchen. However I am intercepted by Joel Donner at the bar.

"You got any more of those homemade nachos back there? My wife's cooking hasn't seemed that appealing since I had some of those," he asks.

"Sorry, Joel. We sold out about an hour ago," I reply.

Joel nods his head regretfully and I see Katniss give me an amused smile out the corner of my eye.

"Probably for the best. I don't need to add to this tyre around my waist," Joel says patting his large stomach.

"Ah, don't be too hard on yourself, Joel. More round the middle just means more for your wife to cuddle at night," I reply.

Joel smiles at me gratefully as he shakes his head.

Things with the locals have improved. It seems food is the main way to a person's heart and my new menu items have meant people have warmed to me after the Thom and Delly incident. People like Katniss and me working together and I have even begun to form friendly relationships with the regulars. Joel is one of those people. He comes in almost every night for food and a beer to try and get away from his wife's disappointing stares at home.

"You try telling my wife that. She hasn't touched me in a long time," Joel says.

I shake my head at him as I put my elbows on the bar and lean closer to him.

"You just need to woo her again, Joel. Tomorrow night buy her some flowers, and not the ones from the gas station, come in here and I'll give you a couple of my peppercorn steaks then go home, put a bit of Frank Sinatra on and she will be putty in your hands," I say.

Joel listens carefully to what I say and nods his head.

"You know what, I might just try that. It can't make her hate me any more," he says.

"That's the spirit," I say slapping him lightly on the arm. "Let me know how it goes."

Joel nods his head before turning and going back to his table of friends.

Katniss looks at me with a disbelieving smile on her face.

"You have certainly got the locals charmed now. I'm surprised you are not using that charm of yours to pick up a girl," she says.

"Oh, come on. I am nowhere near the right place to have a relationship. I'm fine just concentrating on looking for Prim," I say.

Katniss nods her head in understanding. I don't want to leave her quite just yet. The queue at the bar has quietened down for now and I want to spend more time getting to know her. There is still so much unknown about her and I'm eager to find out more.

"So how did Gale woo you? Lovely words or a picnic in the park?" I ask.

Katniss laughs.

"Woo? Seriously? Peeta, you can sound like a sixty year old man at times," she says.

"I like to still believe in the old fashion way of courting," I reply.

Katniss laughs again as she shakes her head.

"Well, Gale didn't exactly woo me. Is it bad to say that our first kiss was during a game of spin the bottle?" she says.

"Oh that is tragic!" I reply.

Katniss laughs again.

"I was fifteen. He was my best friend and everyone was staring at us," she says.

"That is a horrible story to tell the grandchildren," I say.

Katniss smiles as she shakes her head again.

"Okay. Well how would you woo me?" she asks.

This is bordering on dangerous territory. I can't lie to myself and say I have never thought about where I would take her if there was no Gale and Prim was found. Late at night my dreams often wander to a place where Katniss and I are both happy and enjoying our time together but I don't want to let on my real feelings for her. It will probably just scare her and push her away.

But I also have to answer. She'll call me a spoil sport if I don't. I tap my chin and pretend to think long and hard before I answer.

"I'd take you somewhere outdoors. You spend way too much time in this bar. It would probably be somewhere high up so we could watch the sunset together. I'd bring a blanket and wrap it round both our shoulders so we were huddled underneath it together. Of course I would bake you those cheesy buns you love so much and then once the sun had gone down you would teach me all the constellations you can see in the sky," I say.

The laughter is gone from Katniss now and she stares at me with a soft look in her eyes. I hold my breath for a moment, scared that I have said too much. Slowly a shy smile spreads across her face.

"That would be nice," she replies.

The grin spreads across my face instantly and we both just stand staring at each other for a long moment. My heart does a little flip at the thought she would like the date. Katniss smiles at me again before someone calls for her at the bar and she turns away to serve them.

Haymitch notices my smile when I walk back through to the kitchen but this time he doesn't say anything. My smile only grows wider when I see he has eaten all the sweet potato fries I left on his plate.

* * *

I spend the rest of my shift at the bar thinking about that date with Katniss. I know I shouldn't and it will never happen but it stops my mind from wandering to darker and more dangerous thoughts. I even end up dreaming about it when we get back home. I see Katniss so clearly, sitting at the top of a hill as the fading light illuminates her beautiful face. I feel content in the dream. Happy. Feelings I've not felt for so long that it takes me a moment to recognise them.

But of course I can't go through a night without a nightmare plaguing me. All of a sudden the scene with Katniss goes dark. I can no longer see her smile or smoky grey eyes. A thunder begins to rumble in the sky and a dark figure starts approaching us. I already know who the figure is. I recognise those angry and unsteady movements anywhere.

My mother is soon upon us and a flash of lightening illuminates her face, showing a cruel smile plastered across it.

"You think you're allowed to be happy? You don't deserve to be happy! You can't be happy while I am not. I won't allow it," she sneers.

She then raises her arm and a bottle appears in it. Instinctively I curl my body away from her to protect myself from the worst of the damage but as I do so I realise it is not me she wants to hurt. Katniss' screams fill my ears as I hear the crash of the bottle against her head. Her screams don't stop as my mother carries on hitting and slicing her with a bottle and I suddenly am paralysed to the spot. I want to move and help Katniss but I can't. Just like Prim. Katniss' screams continue to fill my ears and I feel completely and utterly useless.

I wake with a start and it takes me a minute to remember it is just a dream. My mother hasn't found Katniss. She is safe in her room next door. I try to shake her screams out of my head but they are taking longer than usual to disappear. Her sharp cry is still clear.

It's then I realise that it's not just a dream. Katniss' screams are real and they are coming from behind her bedroom door.

Immediately I throw back the sheets and jump off the couch. My heart hammers loudly in my chest as I run into her room and slam the door open in a desperate rush to help her.

It takes a minute for my brain to process what it sees. Katniss' screams are even louder in here but she is completely alone. She screams for Gale and thrashes and kicks in her sleep, her sheets getting all tangled up, as she is trapped in a nightmare.

I rush over to her and put a hand on her shoulder in an effort to calm her.

"Katniss. Wake up! You're having a nightmare," I say as I gently try to shake her awake.

I clamber into her bed with her as she continues to twist and turn in her sleep. I put another hand on her shoulder as I try to whisper soothing words in her ears. Suddenly she stops jerking and her eyelids fly open. Her eyes lock onto mine and there is a look of pure terror there. She stares at me for a moment before coming fully to her senses and jerking away from my grip.

"What are you doing here?" she demands.

She scuttles back to the edge of the bed, far away from me, and clutches her sheets protectively against her chest.

I put my hands up in surrender as I get off the bed and stand.

"I heard you screaming. I was just making sure you're alright," I reply.

Katniss relaxes at my words and looks a little ashamed for pushing me away. She looks down as she plays with a loose thread on her sheet.

"I'm sorry for waking you," she says after a long moment.

"Don't apologise. I get them too," I reply.

Katniss snaps her head back to look at me. She gives me a small, tired smile before running a hand through her tangled hair and looking at the wall.

"I've found warm milk helps me. Do you want to join me?" I ask.

Katniss turns back to look at me, thinks for a long moment before nodding and getting off the bed a little shakily. I give her a reassuring smile as I put my hand on the small of her back and guide her through to the kitchen.

I heat up the milk and place it in a mug for each of us. We sit facing each other on the same side of the wooden table in the living room. Katniss clutches the mug close in her hands as she takes a long sip out of it.

I watch her carefully as she drinks. I'm concerned for her. She's finally stop shaking but the terror in her eyes when she woke is still clear in my memory. Whatever nightmare she was having must have been bad. But I am scared to ask what it was about. Nightmares are very personal things and I know I don't like sharing mine with anyone else. I try to think of a way to help her without it sounding like I am prying.

But it is Katniss who eventually breaks the silence as we sit sipping the milk.

"I've never heard you have a nightmare. Do you get them often?" she asks.

"Almost every night. But I don't ever scream and thrash. I just always wake with a start, paralysed for a moment with a cold sweat on my skin," I reply.

"I don't know what makes me scream. There were some weeks that Gale hardly got any sleep because I kept him awake with it all," Katniss admits.

I nod my head in understanding.

"You were screaming for him when I came in," I say.

Katniss blushes and looks down at her feet. She runs her finger round the rim of the glass as she speaks.

"I was dreaming of him. My nightmares are always about losing people I love," she replies.

For some reason this makes my heart sink and a surge of jealousy courses through me. But I realise that's ridiculous. I shouldn't be jealous of who her nightmares are about. She loves Gale. I am just the guy that she met six weeks ago and am probably more trouble than I am worth.

I chastise myself for being so stupid. I want to support Katniss as a friend. I'm not going to let stupid jealousies stop me from doing that.

"Mine are about my mother. Her finding me or Prim and inflicting on us what she did when we were children," I say.

Katniss snaps her head back up to look at me. She's surprised that I have brought my mother up. Not many people know the full story and I find it difficult to trust people with it. I've never allowed anyone to get close enough for them to ask about it. I always hid it well with a fake smile and false cheeriness. Most of the friends I made since I left home have no idea about my past life and were surprised that I had a sister. But Katniss is different to all of them.

She knows what it is like to suffer pain and heartbreak. And even though she must have guessed some things about my mother she has not pressured me to tell her all about it. She knows it is something I have to share in my own time.

I want to tell her now. I realise that in six weeks I trust her more than I have trusted anyone in my whole life. For the first time there is someone I care about and who I think cares about me.

"You don't have to tell me," Katniss says.

"No. I want to. I think I need to tell someone. It's been haunting me for the last twenty-five years," I say.

Katniss nods her head in understanding and waits patiently for me to continue. I take a deep breath as I prepare myself to tell her the things I have spent so long trying to forget.

"You're not the only person to have an alcoholic in the family. Dear Old Mom is a drunk too. Except not as friendly as Haymitch. Abusive and confrontational. Dad eventually tired of her drunken moods. He left when I was fourteen. Prim was only eight. With Dad gone there was no one else for her to take out her drunken rage on," I begin.

Katniss doesn't say anything but her eyes fill with empathy. She knows how hard it can be to live with an alcoholic.

"She had hit us before Dad left but that had only ever been with her hand. With Dad gone she found new instruments to hit us with. A belt. A rolling pin. I got this scar when she came at me with a broken bottle all because I burned some toast," I say.

I lift up my shirt to show Katniss the long jagged scar that runs down the side of my torso. Katniss's eyes widen in shock and she reaches out to gently touch the damaged skin there. Goose bumps appear on my skin as her fingers brush over my skin. Katniss runs her finger down the scar and shakes her head. I smile at her sadly as she removes her hand and I pull my shirt back down again.

"Prim and I were her human ash trays and we soon learned how to cover up the worst of our injuries. We couldn't risk Mom being found out and them forcing us into the community home. We may have got abuse at home but the stories from there were even worse. Many of the girls there ended up pregnant and the rumours where it was from the male head of the home. We couldn't go there," I continue.

Katniss looks at me sadly as she nods her head.

"I put on this façade at school. I made sure I always had a smile on my face and told enough jokes that made me popular enough in school. But the whole time I was hurting inside. Sometimes I wanted to scream at my friends for not seeing through me. How could they not tell my smiles were fake and that I was dying inside? I tried to cover it up but I was desperate for just one person to actually care enough to ask why I never invited them round to my house. But no one ever did."

"The house was a nightmare. Prim and I lived in fear the entire time. We never knew what exactly would set our mother off. I'm almost ashamed to say I never fought back."

"I got a job as soon as I could and saved up enough so I could leave as soon as I was eighteen. The day of my eighteenth birthday, I packed up and left without looking back. I didn't have enough money to take Prim with me and I was just so desperate to get out and to stop feeling so scared all the time. I hated Dad when he left us but it turns out I am no better than him. I left Prim all alone there with that monster."

"So my nightmares are about my mother. Leaving Prim. Some are memories of real times she hit us others are fictitious. All equally horrible and terrifying. Even though I left seven years ago, she still has a way to make me feel scared every single night," I finally end.

Katniss throws her arms around me. My arms wrap around her too and I squeeze her tight. I let out a shuddering breath as I hold her close and bury my nose in her hair. I can't believe I actually managed to tell her. I've kept things to myself for so long and it is almost a relief to have another person know.

Katniss pulls back slightly from me and looks at me with sympathetic eyes. She reaches out and wipes the tears that are falling down my cheek. I didn't realise that I had even started crying. I sniff loudly as I lean into her touch.

"Thank you for telling me that. You and Prim should have never had to go through that," she says.

I give her a weak smile in thanks and she smiles back at me. I let out a heavy sigh as I lean forward so my forehead rests against hers. She doesn't say anything more as we both let all that has just been revealed sink in.

I don't know how long we stay like that, holding each other with our heads pressed together, but eventually I shift and I find that I am looking up into Katniss's fantastic grey eyes. We are so close I can see the flecks of blue in them and the sight of her so close takes my breath away. Our noses are only inches apart and my eyes flick down to look at her rosy red lips. My breathing seems to get shallower and my heart beats harder as I think about what it would be like to kiss her. We both seem to draw nearer each other until we are only a breath away. I forget about everything else as all I can see is this woman in front of me. I am about to close the remaining distance between us when Katniss suddenly jerks back and scrapes her chair back.

My lips are left hanging in the air and Katniss darts off her chair and scrambles back towards the door. There is a look of pure mortification in her eyes as she runs an agitated hand through her hair.

"I should get back to bed. Thanks for the milk, Peeta," she says.

And with that she dashes out the room and away from me.

"Shit!" I exclaim as hide my head in my hands.

Why was I about to kiss her? She has a boyfriend. I can only hope that I haven't just ruined our friendship for good.

* * *

I manage to catch a few extra hours of sleep after Katniss leaves and I wake the next morning with the aim of apologising to her about the almost kiss and beg her to forgive me and forget all about it. It was a big deal sharing my past with her last night and I don't want to lose her as a friend. I've come to rely on her presence in my life. I don't want to imagine my life if she doesn't forgive me.

However I don't get the chance to apologise because when I wake there is a note for me on the table telling me she has gone to visit Gale. I curse myself again for being so stupid. I could have ruined her relationship with him. And now it seems she has run off to him to try and avoid me. I've screwed up more than I thought.

I'm in a foul mood when I get to the bar and even take Haymitch up on his offer to share a drink with him. Since that trip to Hob, I've tried to cut back on the amount I drink. Katniss is right. It doesn't make me feel any better but I am so mad at myself for almost kissing her last night, I don't have the will power to tell Haymitch no.

"Where's sweetheart today? You two have been practically joined at the hip recently," Haymitch asks.

His comments only makes my mood worse. It reminds me that I haven't been acting as innocently around Katniss as I should be. I've been openly flirting with a girl who is in a loving, committed relationship.

"She's gone to see Gale," I reply.

Haymitch knits his eyebrows into a frown.

"How much has she told you about Gale?" he asks.

"It doesn't matter how much she has told me about him. She's in love with him. I shouldn't be getting involved," I reply.

Haymitch stares at me for a long time as I sit slumped at the kitchen table. I don't look directly at him, ashamed for coming on to another man's girlfriend but also missing the fact that Katniss is not here. I just want things to go back to normal.

"Ask about Gale when she gets back. There are things you need to know but aren't my place to tell you," he says.

I look up at him confused. What type of things is he talking about? I know Katniss is a very private person. She didn't go snooping in my life so I am not about to go snooping into hers.

I don't say anything more to Haymitch and we both sit in silence as we sit and sip our drinks until it is time to turn the ovens on and open the bar. We don't mention Katniss or Gale for the rest of the day.

* * *

Katniss is gone three days. Three whole days where she doesn't call or text me. Three days with no sign of her and I am being driven insane by her absence. I walk around feeling a bit lost **.** There is something missing at home and the bar and it makes me feel a little empty inside. I can tell Haymitch is feeling the same and we both drink more than we should while she is gone.

But after three days I walk into the bar to find her filling the fridge with beer. Immediately my mood brightens and a smile spreads across my face. I bound up to her and give her a warm smile in greeting as I get ready to prepare my apology.

"Hey, you're back. Did you have a good visit with Gale?" I ask.

Katniss gives me a small smile as she turns to me and swipes away a strand of hair that has fallen across her face. As she does so something shiny on her hand catches my eye. My heart drops at the sight. Clearly the visit went very well.

On Katniss' left hand there is a small but clear diamond resting on her ring finger.

She's come back engaged.

* * *

 **A/N: I promise Gale will be explained fully in the next chapter. I hope you can be patient for another week.**

 **Thanks to my beta, LavenderVanilla, for all her feedback. She makes this readable. Thanks for everyone that continues to support this story.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: It's been a lot of fun reading everyone's theories about Gale but you won't have to wait any longer. I know a lot of people have been waiting for this chapter and I hope you enjoy it.**

 **Thanks to my beta, LavenderVanilla, for all her help and support with this story. Her advice has been great.**

* * *

Chapter 7

 _Katniss_

"You're engaged," Peeta states.

His eyes are glued to the simple diamond ring on my left hand. I look down at the ring too and gently rub my finger over it. My heart clenches a little at the sadness in his tone of voice. I know he is jumping to all the wrong conclusions but I can't even begin to explain Gale to him. The image of Gale proposing is still clear in my mind. The bright smile and fire dancing in his eyes as he got down on one knee by the bonfire. I re-live that moment so often in my dreams.

Peeta waits for some sort of explanation but the words become stuck in my throat. I look at Peeta and the sadness and confusion in his eyes makes my heart clench tighter. His eyes implore me to offer him some answers but I don't give them to him. I can't. Eventually he gives up and lets out a sad sigh as he hangs his head.

"Congratulations," he says.

There is a short pause before his eyes turn to my ring again. He looks at it with a pained expression before coughing and turning to look at the door of the bar.

"I'm actually not feeling well today. I don't think it's safe for me to be round food. Can you cope without me?" he asks.

"That's fine. Hope you feel better soon," I reply.

My head is screaming at me to say something, anything, to make this better but I have become stuck. My response is not what Peeta is looking for and he turns to walk out the door with his shoulders hunched forward and his feet dragging along the floor.

Part of me knows that I should run after him and explain everything but I am not ready to face everything yet. I thought a couple of days spent at the Hawthrones would put everything in perspective again. I thought it would remind me of my true feelings but my heart is heavy as I let Peeta walk away and I know that my feelings are still as conflicting as when I left.

Eventually I turn back around to finish setting up the bar for the day and I try to convince myself that I have nothing to feel guilty about.

The bar is a little quieter than normal today. The customers we do have utter their disappointments that Peeta is not in to make their favourite dishes. He's become a popular feature in the bar with his self-deprecating humour and his presence is missed. Many of the town's people inquire about his whereabouts. They don't know it is my inability to explain things that has made him so blue.

With Peeta gone, Uncle Haymitch does at least make the effort to help me man the bar today. He even comes out wearing a clean pair of clothes. But he catches sight of the ring on my finger and gives me a disapproving shake of the head.

"What has happened between you and the boy now?" he asks.

"What makes you think anything has happened?" I reply.

I hate that he is making assumptions. I don't want to tell him about Peeta. How we almost kissed and I ran away to stop trying to feel guilty about it. How even while I was staying with the Hawthornes I dreamed about what it would have been like if I had actually let Peeta kiss me.

"You haven't worn that ring in over a year and yet now it's back on your hand. Feeling guilty about spending time with Lover Boy?" Uncle Haymitch asks.

"We are not lovers," I state as I turn away from my uncle's gaze.

I try to remember Gale's kisses. How he used to suckle on that spot just below my ear and make my knees go weak. I shouldn't be wanting any other kisses.

"No. But you have thought about him in that way. And that's why you're wearing the ring again. Because you are scared of betraying Gale," Uncle Haymitch replies.

"Of course I don't want to betray Gale! I don't think he would like how much time I have been spending with Peeta lately!" I exclaim.

I turn back to face my uncle and his face falls. He looks at me sadly as he takes a step forward and places a hand on my arm.

"Katniss, Gale's dead. You are not betraying him," he says softly.

I feel the tears building up behind my eyes. Uncle Haymitch may be drunk most of the time but he does know me. He knows how much I loved Gale and how I have been clinging onto his ghost for the last two years.

I miss the stupid things with Gale. I miss that he ate six bananas a day. I miss how he would snort when he found something particular funny. And I miss his smell of pine that surrounded me at night. It scares me that I am beginning to forget the finer features of his face like the exact way his eyebrows used to crease when he was thinking.

Uncle Haymitch takes another step towards me to fully put his arm around my shoulder. He looks down at me seriously as he speaks again.

"Gale wouldn't want you living this way. He'd hate that you are still clutching onto him and not out there living your life. All he ever wanted for you, Katniss, is to be happy," he says.

"Because it is that easy to do. To just forget about him and get on with my life. You know how difficult that is. You have been clinging to Aunt Maysilee for the last twenty years. You are hardly the one to be giving me advice on how to move on," I scoff.

A slight anger appears in my uncle's eyes and he turns me so he is gripping the tops of my arms tightly.

"I know exactly how hard it is but I also know how disappointed May would be to see me like this. I've failed her in every way since she died. I'm not going to let you go the same way as me. Not when you have a chance to be happy," he says determinedly.

I am surprised by the determination in his voice. It hates to be like this now, a man he knows Aunt Maysilee would never love, but he has no idea how to be the person he was before she died. I'm his only living relative and it pains him to see me shut myself off from the world in the same way. I may not drink to forget my troubles but I have locked myself behind this bar to distract myself from the gaping hole in my chest.

I look away from my uncle, ashamed of my actions the last two years.

"Since Peeta's arrived, you've been different. You have actually remembered how to smile and finally allowed yourself to get close to another person again. I'm not saying that you should go and run into his arms now but don't push him away because of Gale. Wearing the ring again is not healthy for you. Spending time with Peeta is," he says.

I look back to my uncle and give him a sad smile.

"I'm not ready to let Gale go yet. I still love him," I reply.

Uncle Haymitch smiles sadly at me as he tucks a strand of hair behind me ear.

"Okay. But don't wait too long until you do. At the very least tell Peeta the truth about Gale. That boy is falling for you and I think he might be just what you need," he says.

I smile gratefully and he pulls me in for a comforting hug. I sigh heavily as I let him go and think about how I need to speak to Peeta. I can't keep the truth from him any longer. He trusted me enough to tell me about his mom. I need to trust him enough to understand about Gale.

I run through the words I will say to Peeta all night. I don't know how to tell him everything without making it look like I purposefully lied to him. I don't want him to hate me.

I am distracted as a result and for most of the night mix up orders. It may be the first time that Uncle Haymitch is a more reliable bartender than me. He can tell I am still thinking about Peeta and Gale so he tells me to scoot off as soon as we close the bar. I am a little wary leaving him to clean the bar by himself but my mind is so full of Peeta and Gale that I take up his offer and make my way back home.

I'm nervous as I turn the key in the lock and step into my apartment. The television light flickers into the hallway telling me that Peeta is still awake. I take a deep breath to compose myself before walking into the living room.

He sits on the couch watching some old cowboy film. All the lights are off and the TV screen illuminates his face. I quickly flick my eyes towards the picture of Gale and me laughing together in the woods. My heart twinges with sadness and longing but I have to stop hiding.

I smile at Peeta as I enter and he gives me a small smile in return. I take another deep breath as I sit down on the chair opposite him and begin twirling the ring around on my left hand. This movement catches Peeta's attention and his eyes zone in on the ring again. He stares at it for a moment before flicking his gaze away to watch the TV again. Immediately I feel guilty about drawing his attention to it and stuff my hand in my pockets. I turn to look back at his face

"You were missed at the bar tonight. Everyone was asking about you," I say.

Peeta doesn't turn to look at me and the nervous butterflies multiply in my stomach.

"It is not what you think. Gale didn't propose a few days ago. He proposed almost two years ago," I begin.

This gets Peeta's attention and he whips his head round to look at me. He scrunches his eyebrows up in confusion as he looks at me.

"Three weeks later I found him dead in my apartment. He died of a massive brain aneurysm," I say.

Peeta shakes his head in even more confusion.

"Gale's dead? But then where have you been the last few days? You said you were visiting him," he asks.

I can see the hurt in his eyes at the thought that I have been lying to him. Part of the reason our friendship has flourished is because we are honest with each other. I have technically never lied to his face but I have definitely withheld the truth and that is really no better.

"I did go and visit him. I went to visit his grave. I stayed with his family for a bit too. I go and see them every couple of weeks," I reply.

Peeta shakes his head, still confused.

"How could you let me believe he was alive? Why didn't you correct me? I thought you trusted me," he says.

I look down at my hands. I do trust him. I may have only known him for just short of seven weeks but I trust him more than anyone else in the world and that's why I feel guilty now.

"I have a hard time admitting Gale is gone. I don't think I have actually said that he's dead before. I've been in denial for so long. I mean you have seen my bathroom. His toothbrush and products are still there. I can't bear to throw them away. I still listen to the last voicemail he sent me to remember the sound of his voice. I don't want to forget one thing about him," I reply.

The confusion goes from Peeta's eyes and empathy floods his features. I take a deep breath before speaking again.

"I loved Gale more than anything in the world. He was my best friend and the only person that got me to live again after my parents died. But I failed him," I say.

I let out a shuddering breath as I take myself back to the night he died. I close my eyes and clearly see him lying on the floor when I got home.

"He tried to call me the night he died. But the bar was busy so I just ignored it. When I listened to the message after my shift there was just silence at the end of the phone. I thought he had called me by mistake. However when I got home I found him lying unconscious on the floor. His phone was still in his hand and it was clear he was trying to call me for help. I called an ambulance but by the time it came it was too late. They say with brain aneurysms that you need to catch them early. If I had just answered the phone and gone home he might have survived. He might still be here today," I admit.

A tear drops down my cheek and Peeta pushes off the sofa to come and comfort me. He wipes my tears away before folding me into his arms. I let out a watery sob as I clutch him close.

"I don't know how you are still standing. Losing so many people I love would have broken me," Peeta says.

I sniff and wipe my nose as I pull back slightly from him.

"It killed me when he died. I was numb for a long time and then the pangs of loneliness came in. I just wanted the world to swallow me up and I never thought I was going to be okay again. I still don't know if I can be," I admit.

Peeta smiles at me sadly.

"That's what drew me to you in the first place. You looked so haunted that first night I met you in the bar and I recognised that look. I know what it is like to be haunted by those you lost and to carry them with you wherever you go," I say.

Peeta nods his head in understanding.

"You don't need to explain. I get it. No one has ever understood me as much as you do," he replies.

I nod my head in agreement. I don't have to give Peeta big long explanations. I don't think even Gale understood me as well.

"You are wearing the ring again because you feel guilty? You feel guilty about spending time with me and forgetting Gale?" Peeta asks as he picks up my left hand and runs his finger over my engagement ring.

See. He really does know me. We both look down at my ringed hand and I curl my fingers around his. I squeeze his fingers tight as I nod my head.

"I like you. A lot. You are the first person I've let in since Gale died and for the first time there are moments when I allow myself to feel happy," I say.

Peeta smiles at me and nods his head.

"But I'm not ready to let Gale go yet. Our friendship is still so new that I just want to focus on that," I say.

Peeta nods his head again.

"I agree. I told you I wasn't in the right place in my life for a relationship and I meant that. Prim is my main priority," he replies.

I smile and nod my head. We both have a lot of issues to work through. Neither of us are the stable, content people we need to be to make a relationship work.

"I like you too. More than any girl I have ever met but I haven't had a friend like you. Ever. And I think that is what is important right now," he adds.

I nod my head again and he smiles. He then pulls me in for another hug and I sigh in relief at getting it all out there. He knows all my secrets now. It was painful to relive Gale's last night alive but I knew I was in a safe place with Peeta. In fact, I think wrapped in his arms is the safest place I have ever felt.

* * *

A weight is lifted off both our shoulders as we walk together to the bar the next day. We both know where we stand with each other and any awkwardness between us is gone. I walk with a smile on my face as Peeta amuses me with what Uncle Haymitch got up to while I was visiting the Hawthrones. Apparently he managed to lock himself in the broom cupboard while trying to find some more alcohol. Peeta had already left by that point and only found him the next day curled around a mop bucket while he threw every expletive in his vocabulary at Peeta.

Uncle Haymitch immediately notices our change in mood as we walk into the bar. I'm still laughing and our bodies lightly brush against each other as we enter. Uncle Haymitch eyes us with a smug smile on his face as we make our way in and Peeta throws him a cheery greeting. He keeps his eyes on me as Peeta goes through to the kitchen, leaving me alone with my smiling uncle.

"I see you and the boy made up," Haymitch says with a grin.

I sigh and shake my head.

"I told him about Gale and we agreed to be just friends. We don't have room for anything else at the moment," I reply.

Uncle Haymitch's grin grows wider.

"So you actually took my advice. I'm waiting for my thank you," he replies.

I shake my head.

"Thank you. For the first time in the last twenty years you actually gave me advice that wasn't complete shit," I say.

Uncle Haymitch laughs before taking a sip of his drink and heading back into the kitchen.

"Well, I've got a bet with Chaff about how long it is before you and the boy get your shit together and stumble into bed. Just don't fall for him for the next three months. I can't lose to Chaff again," he says.

I scowl and reach for a hand towel lying on the bar to throw at him. Uncle Haymitch ducks out the way of it and laughs as he makes his way to the back. I'm left a little annoyed that my relationship with Peeta is causing him so much amusement.

There is a steady flow of people in the bar throughout the day but it really begins to pick up around six o'clock. The miners all clock off work and meander to our bar for some beer and pleasant company. The bar is even busier than a regular Thursday night because Peeta has organised a quiz night. When he first started working at the bar he was dismayed that we did nothing to maximise profits. Since we are the only bar in Seam we should be raking the money in but I have been so busy trying to run the bar by myself that I struggled to do anything other than just scrape by.

Peeta changed that though. His food was the first change he implemented when he arrived and now he has suggested that we put on theme nights to encourage people to come mid-week. Uncle Haymitch grumbles whenever Peeta suggests something new but I know that my uncle likes having the bar so full. It makes him feel less lonely.

"I hope we are not giving prizes away for this thing. I don't want you swindling all our profits away," Uncle Haymitch grumbles.

Peeta and I share an amused look. It takes a lot for Uncle Haymitch to actually praise an idea.

"Everyone has to pay a dollar to enter the quiz. The prize money comes from that," Peeta replies.

Uncle Haymitch grunts his approval before turning away and going to his friend Chaff. We both notice him and Chaff putting a dollar into the glass. It seems Uncle Haymitch isn't about to let someone else win the quiz in his bar.

Peeta surveys the crowd of people in the bar tonight. The glass of money is almost full already and there is an excited buzz about the place. Many people come up to Peeta to slap him on the shoulder and ask him how he is feeling after yesterday. It seems everyone missed him after his absence.

Joel Donner comes up to us both and slaps Peeta heartily on the back.

"So good to have you back, boy. I missed your nachos last night," Joel says.

Peeta smiles brightly at him.

"Thanks, Joel. I'll give the recipe to your wife. Then you can have them when the kitchen isn't open," Peeta replies.

Joel nods his head eagerly.

"You just keep doing things to help me. The advice that you gave me about my wife was golden. She can't get enough of me now!" Joel exclaims.

Peeta's grin widens.

"I'm glad I could help. I know you love your wife no matter how much you grumble about her," he replies.

"You're right there. I'd be lost without that woman. If there is anything I can do for you, just let me know," Joel says.

Peeta stills for a moment and his eyes nervously flick towards me. I frown at his suddenly strange behaviour. Peeta takes a deep breath before turning back to Joel.

"Actually, there is something you can do. I was wondering if that apartment of yours is still free? I think Katniss is a bit sick of me living on her couch," he says.

I'm a little surprised by his request. He made no mention of moving out and I thought we had sorted everything last night.

"Of course, my boy! I would love to have you as a tenant. The apartment is all yours. Come by mine tomorrow and I'll sort out keys," Joel says.

Peeta nods his head and they share a firm handshake before Joel walks away. When Peeta turns back to me I have a frown on my face. His smile falls from his face slightly as he looks at me.

"I hope you don't mind. It's nothing personal. I just think it's the best thing for both of us. Stop ourselves falling into anything that we are not ready for," Peeta adds.

I relax a little bit, relieved that it's not because he's mad at me. But I am still a little sad. I know he can't stay on my couch forever but I've got used to having him around. The place will feel empty with him gone.

I nod my head in agreement.

"Probably wise. I'll miss you though," I admit.

Peeta smiles sweetly back at me.

"I'll miss you too. But you'll still see me every day. You can't get rid of me that easily," he says with a grin now.

A genuine smile spreads across my face. He's right. We'll still see each other every day at the bar. I don't need to be sad about him moving out.

"At least I won't have to fight with you for the shower anymore. You are in there longer than any girl I know!" I exclaim bumping Peeta's shoulder.

Peeta laughs.

"I'm sorry I have been such a nuisance. I'll just have to find new ways to annoy you at the bar," he says.

We both laugh again but the patrons are demanding my attention and I know I better get the drinks served before the quiz starts. I turn away from Peeta as he gets ready to set the quiz up. We share one last smile as he walks away.

Half an hour later, Peeta stands on the small stage at one end of the bar. He taps the mike to check it is working and the chatter slowly dies as everyone turns their attention towards him. Peeta smiles broadly as he looks out to the many residents of Seam that have turned up for the quiz tonight.

"Good evening, everybody. Thank you all for coming to the very first Seam quiz. For those that don't know me, I'm Peeta. The idiot who challenged Thom to a fight the first night I came here," he says.

There is a round of laughter and even Thom tries to hide a smile. Peeta has them all instantly engaged and they all look at him with rapt attention.

"I hope you have all been brushing up on your general knowledge but just to let you know, I will accept bribes. Kisses are my preferred form of payment but I will also accept cash and Office Depot vouchers," he carries on.

Yet more laughter. I smile and shake my head. He knows exactly how to charm a crowd. My dad was similar. Everyone loved him and responded to him in such a positive way. Peeta has a similar effect on people. Both he and my dad know how to put a smile on people's faces. It is that quality that made them popular with the residents of this town.

"First up, we have the geography round. Question one. Name the only three countries in the world that start with the letter A but don't end in it," Peeta announces.

Everyone bends their heads down as they begin whispering their answers. As I go round the tables, serving pitchers of beer, I over hear some people discussing their answers.

"Argentina?" Joel suggests to his team.

"No, you idiot! That ends in A. We want countries that don't end in A," his friend replies.

"I thought that's what they were asking!" Joel exclaims before pausing to think again. After a moment her clicks he fingers together and points towards his teammates.

"I've got it! Amsterdam!" he declares.

His team mates all sigh and shake their heads as I try to suppress my grin as I go round.

Peeta manoeuvres through the quiz at just the right pace. He allows just enough time for some lively debates to take place for each question but always moves on before things get too heated. He keeps the crowd entertained with his self-deprecating jokes and witty anecdotes and no one complains of things dragging on. I'm constantly on my feet as I go round filling empty beer glasses. It is the best mid-week takings we have ever had.

Uncle Haymitch and Chaff seem to be taking the quiz very seriously. Their heads are bent low as they cover their mouths with their hands to stop people from over hearing them. They seem to get annoyed when other people don't take it so seriously.

"Last question of the entertainment round," Peeta states. "Who was crowned People's sexiest male in 2015? I know what you are thinking, but it wasn't me. I came in second last year."

I laugh at Peeta's joke and he smiles as he catches my eye. Uncle Haymitch on the other hand does not look amused.

"Do I look like I read People magazine? Why would I ever need to know that?" Uncle Haymitch exclaims.

Peeta turns to Uncle Haymitch with a grin.

"I've got to have questions that suit a broad demographic. You didn't hear Delly complaining when I had 'name that beer' round," Peeta replies.

Uncle Haymitch scowls at him and shakes his head.

"It's a stupid question and you should be doing more to check for cheating. Darius has been checking the answers on his cell phone all night," Uncle Haymitch points out.

Peeta's eyes dart to look over at Darius' table and sees that Darius is indeed checking the answers on his phone, not so subtly, underneath the table.

"I expected more from the sheriff of this town! Darius, how dare you abuse my good nature? Please hand over your cell phone to Miss Everdeen. You can get it back at the end of the night," Peeta says with a grin.

Darius grins but hangs his head in shame for being caught. Reluctantly he gets up and places the phone in my waiting hand. Darius gets some good natured boos as he walks past but no one seems to mind too much.

"Okay, everyone. It's our last round and it's a good one. I know a lot of people wanted a music round but I thought I would spare you from my singing. Instead I'm going to perform some dance moves. You just have to write down the song that the moves are associated with," Peeta says.

There is a mixture of groans and whoops of delight. Peeta is grinning broadly and turns in my direction. He smiles at me and I shake my head at the ridiculousness of the round.

"I'm going to need some help though. Katniss, come up and help me out," he says.

I shake my head violently.

"No way! Not a hell in chance!" I say as I begin walking back towards the kitchen.

Peeta pouts and gives me his puppy dog stare.

"Please. I'm going to look like an idiot without you up here," he begs.

The whole room turns to look in my direction and many people shout out encouragements for me to join him up there. I can't believe he is dragging me into this. We are going to look like complete fools up there.

The crowd is getting louder and I know I will look like a dull bore if I don't go up there with him. Peeta is still looking at me with puppy dog eyes and I feel my resolve crumbling. I let out a loud sigh as I reluctantly agree to help him. There are loud cheers from the crowd as I make my way through the series of tables. I keep my eyes down at the ground, a little embarrassed by all the attention. But Peeta is waiting for me with a big smile on the stage and I instantly relax as he holds out his hand to help me up the steps **.** I shake my head at him as he pulls me up.

"We are going to look like idiots. How are we supposed to dance without any music?" I ask.

"Where's your imagination? Just follow my lead. We can look like idiots together," he replies.

I sigh again as I look back out at the crowd. They are all waiting eagerly for Peeta and me to start dancing. My heart rate picks up a little bit with nerves. I have to turn back to face Peeta to try and block them all out.

"Only you could get me to do this," I say.

Peeta grins broadly again and this time my heart thumps for a very different reason. Peeta reaches out and gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. I smile back at him and take a deep breath as I prepare myself for this ordeal.

We soon turn back to face the crowd and Peeta whispers the first dance in my ear. I nod my head in understanding and Peeta counts us down to start the first move. I remind myself it's okay to act like a fool every now and again. That this is not the end of the world.

Our dancing is totally ridiculous. We laugh and bump into each other as we go through the Macarena, Gangdam Style and Saturday Night Fever. I end up having fun as people peer at us and try to figure out what we are dancing. Uncle Haymitch goes into a huff again when he realises he's been too drunk the past two decades to recognise many of the dances.

Yesterday I would have felt guilty for enjoying this time with Peeta. I would I have thought I was betraying Gale but I don't feel that today. I'm okay with letting myself smile again. I've got to come to terms with that fact my life needs to move on from Gale. And for the first time I can imagine that happening.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 _Peeta_

I let out a frustrated sigh as I slump back in my chair and run a hand through my hair while grasping my cell phone to my ear. Prim's marble is out again on the table as I roll it along. It's the only thing stopping me from blowing up. I've been speaking to this idiot for the last twenty minutes and he still won't tell me what he knows about Prim. If he even knows anything about Prim.

"Look, man, I want to help you. But I'm not telling you anything until you transfer that money into my account. I'm risking my life telling you this," the man says.

I exhale loudly through my nose. This guy contacted me on one of the missing person's blogs two days ago saying he had information about Prim. However when I replied to his email he demanded payment of $100 in return for the information.

I've come across enough bogus messages on these blogs to be wary about claims like this. There are just some people out there that love to prey on the desperate and vulnerable. I would have rejected his message straight away if I wasn't so desperate for information on Prim. The search for her has gone stale the last two months. There has not been one scrap of news on her for six weeks.

"I'm not paying you the money. I don't even know if you're telling the truth. How can I believe that you have seen her?" I reply.

"You should be fucking grateful that I got in touch with you. Your sister is in deep shit," the man says.

I sigh again and shake my head. I need a strategy to find out if this guy is lying or not. I don't want to waste any more time with this idiot. He doesn't seem that bright. I bet I can catch him out.

"She's with a guy though? A tall blond guy with a scar above his left eyebrow?" I say.

"Yes, yes, yes. She's with him. He beats anyone that steps in his eye line. Now just get me the money and I can tell you exactly where they are," he replies, clearly getting frustrated with me.

But he's caught himself in his own lies. I now know he hasn't seen Prim. My heart sinks further into my chest. Another dead end. Another guy just wasting my time. Nowhere nearer finding Prim.

"I don't think you can help me. My sister's boyfriend has red hair and he always gets someone else to do his beating for him. I don't like to be lied to," I say.

There is a pause on the line when the guy realises he's been caught out.

"No, you got it wrong, man," he eventually says. "She's not with that guy anymore. She's with a blond dude now."

I shake my head and lean forward in my chair. I'm not going to waste any more time with him. Cray wouldn't let Prim go. In his mind, he owns her.

"Stop lying. You're just embarrassing yourself. I don't want to hear from you again," I say.

The man starts to say something else but I don't let him start. I abruptly hang up the phone before he even finishes the first word. I throw my phone down on the table in frustration as I bury my head in my hands.

I can't even believe I allowed myself to hope he was genuine. The despondency sets into my body and I sit alone in the kitchen not wanting to move. I don't want to face the world after another let down over Prim.

I sit in the kitchen for a long time, allowing all my negative thoughts to creep in. I reach for a bottle of Haymitch's bourbon and pour myself a glass. Katniss is not here to give me a disapproving look. I focus on Prim's marble as memories of Prim begin to rattle around my brain.

One in particular sticks in my mind. She was only nine and had decided to try and make pancakes for our mother on mother's day. But mom got angry when she realised Prim had spent her alcohol money on the ingredients. It was the first time she hit Prim with a rolling pin and I had to stay home from school to make sure Prim's cracked ribs healed properly.

I know I shouldn't dwell on these things. But there are times like today when I am not strong enough to fight my negative thoughts.

I finish my glass slowly and sit staring at the empty bottom of it for a long moment. Katniss and Haymitch are out cleaning the bar. There is something gnawing at the back of my head, forcing me to go out and join them. But my body feels heavy and it seems too much of an effort to move. Pouring another glass of bourbon would require a lot less effort.

But then the thought of Katniss' face, sad and disappointed, when she comes through to find me drunk and depressed fills my brain. I cringe at the mere thought of it. I'm letting Prim down already. I don't want to let Katniss down too.

With a heavy sigh, and a lot of effort, I force myself to push my chair back. I stuff the marble back in my pocket and finally leave the kitchen. My footsteps feel like lead as I make my way to the bar. I hear the scratchy sounds of the jukebox filtering through into the hallway as I approach. But as I get closer there is a much more melodic sound coming from within the bar. It is soft and soulful and immediately seems to wrap around my heart.

I feel the heaviness in my body being lifted as the sound warms and fills me **.** I have never heard anything so beautiful before and I find myself mesmerised by the sound.

My feet no longer seem to drag but instead my body is pulled towards the sound. I push my way into the almost empty bar to be met with the sight of Katniss singing softly along to the jukebox as she sweeps between the tables.

I am transfixed by her and everything else in the world seems to fade away. Everything is forgotten as I can only focus on this beautiful woman in front of me.

Katniss doesn't see me when I first walk in and I can just enjoy watching her get lost in the melody as she gently sways in time with the music. A smile spreads across my face as I feel the last of my dark mood lifting.

I don't want to disturb her and disrupt the bubble she is in. I know she doesn't like to sing. It reminds her too much of her dad and the reason her parents were in the car crash in the first place. But the world has been missing out on the sound ever since. Her voice is too beautiful to not be heard.

The urge to stride over, sweep her into my arms and kiss her senseless overtakes my body. I just want to immerse myself in the only person that can make all the bad fade away. I find my left foot stepping forward to reach her before she twists her hand round and the diamond in her engagement ring catches the light and twinkles on her left hand.

My footsteps immediately stop as I remember why I shouldn't go over to her now. Starting something with her is the wrong thing to do. Neither of us are ready for something like that. She may have told me the truth about Gale but she still finds it hard to let him go. The ring has been on her finger again for two months now and I don't think it is going to leave her hand any time soon.

Haymitch spots me first and sits up straighter on his stool as he raises his glass at me.

"Sweetheart's singing finally enticed you enough to join us," he says.

Katniss startles at the sound of Haymitch's voice and immediately stops her singing as she snaps her head to look in my direction. I blush at Haymitch's comment and look down at my shoes, embarrassed that he caught me staring at her.

Haymitch chortles at the sight and shakes his head.

"You two are too easy to wind up," Haymitch adds.

I snap my head back up to look at him and Katniss scowls before turning away to wipe down the tables. Haymitch laughs again before he goes back to his drink. I turn to look at Katniss but she seems to be avoiding my stare. It seems I am not the only one embarrassed to catch her singing.

"That is the first time I have heard you sing. Birds would stop to listen," I say.

Katniss turns to look at me and blushes.

"I'm really not that good. I'm pretty rusty," she replies.

A smile spreads across my face as I take a few steps towards her. Katniss watches me carefully and doesn't turn away from me as I make my way to stand in front of her. I almost reach out to tuck a strand of fallen hair behind her ear but stop myself at the last moment.

"If that is you singing with a rusty voice, I hate to think how good you sound with a bit of practice," I reply.

Katniss blushes again and ducks her head a little to avoid my gaze. Haymitch is back watching us closely with a smug smile on his face.

"I've never heard a voice quite like it. The town has been crying out to hear it again since that Christmas concert nine years ago," Haymitch says.

Katniss snaps her head in his direction and scowls at him.

"Don't start," Katniss replies. "And you are hardly one to talk. Joel Donner says you are the best guitar player he has ever heard. You're not the only one to stop something because it reminds you of something sad."

That slaps the smile off Haymitch's face and he narrows his eyes at her before taking a long drag of his drink. The pair of them get stuck in a scowling contest and eventually I step between and look at both of them.

"Let's rectify things then. Haymitch, I know that is your guitar in the corner. Why not make both Maysilee and Katniss' dad proud? Sing for me now," I state.

Both Katniss and Haymitch break their scowling at each other to scowl at me instead. It's clear neither wants to do what I suggest. Music brought them happiness once. It can do it again.

"Are you insane? I'm not singing for you and certainly not with him. I don't sing with drunks," Katniss says turning back to face Haymitch.

"What makes you think I would want to play with you? Not when you are this ungrateful," he replies.

"And what should I be grateful for? I'm the one that has kept you alive these last few years. Stopped your bar from closing down," Katniss bites back.

This isn't the reaction I was hoping for. They are both glaring at each other fiercely now and I am pretty sure one or both of them will say something they regret if I don't step in soon.

"Stop, guys! I didn't want to start World War III with my request. I just wanted to hear you play together. I was feeling pretty shit about Prim until I walked in and heard Katniss singing," I say.

The both stop glaring at each other to share a softer look. Haymitch grins and Katniss laughs as they have some silent conversation.

"I seriously can't believe you come up with this shit. Katniss' singing cures your depression. Give me a break," Haymitch says.

Katniss stifles a laugh as the pair forget about their anger towards each other to gang up on me.

"You really do sprout some crap, Peeta," Katniss adds.

I raise my eyebrows at them as they laugh at my expense.

"See? You do have something in common. You both think I am an idiot. So why don't you join together and make this idiot happy for three minutes," I reply.

They share a look again and Haymitch shakes his head.

"What makes you think you are so special that we will perform for you?" Haymitch asks.

I grin and shrug my shoulders.

"Nothing, probably. But I'll start drinking again if you don't," I say.

Katniss raises her eyebrows at me and puts her hands on her hips.

"Are you blackmailing us? You know I hate to see you drink," she says.

She could be mad at me. But there is a smile on her face and I realise she will do as I ask. I'm beginning to realise there is not much she wouldn't do to put a smile on my face. And that there is nothing I wouldn't do to make her happy in return.

Katniss and Haymitch stare at each other for a moment as they decide what to do but after a while Haymitch sinks his shoulders in defeat.

"Fine, boy. You win. I knew you were trouble the moment you walked into this bar," Haymitch grumbles.

I smile in triumph. Katniss gives me a smile and shake of the head before she turns round to put her cloth down and go over to help Haymitch get his old guitar off the wall. I watch them both as they bicker about lifting it off the wall and how they are going to sit on the small stage.

"Do you know _The Hanging Tree_?" Haymitch asks as he takes his seat on a stool and strums a cord on the guitar.

Both he and Katniss cringe as they hear how out of tune it is before Haymitch starts fiddling with the knobs to tune it. Katniss sighs as she pulls up a stool next to him.

"Of course I know _The Hanging Tree_. Mom used to get mad at Dad for teaching me it," Katniss replies.

Haymitch grunts his approval before he gets Katniss to sing a few notes to help him tune the guitar. I'm not familiar with the song they are talking about but it doesn't matter. I've heard from the people of Seam how talented they both were before grief consumed them. I know whatever they produce will be special.

After a few more moments, and a couple more arguments, they are both ready to start. I stare at them expectantly as Katniss turns to me with a nervous smile.

"Only you could convince us to do this," she says.

I give her a big encouraging smile and she takes a deep breath before turning to Haymitch, waiting for his count off. Haymitch nods his head in agreement and counts them in before he starts strumming the guitar. After a couple of bars Katniss joins in with her melodic voice.

 _Are you, are you, coming to the tree,_

 _Where they strung up a man,_

 _they say who murdered three…_

I'm instantly transfixed again as Haymitch's soft playing perfectly matches the soulful sound of Katniss' voice. The warmth begins spreading out my heart again as a great sense of calm settles over me.

The three of us all become absorbed in the song and I can't stop the smile spreading across my face, even with the rather depressing tone of the song. Haymitch is a bit rusty and there are a few wrong notes but it doesn't matter. For a moment we all forget we are three people haunted by ghosts and past mistakes.

There is a long moment of silence once the song is finished.

"Well shit. That wasn't fucking half bad," Haymitch says breaking the small moment we are all sharing.

Katniss and I look at each other and let out light laughs. I get off my seat to join them.

"Can I join in next time with a triangle?" I ask with a grin.

Katniss laughs again and even Haymitch snorts his amusement.

"Come on, old man. What other songs do you know? Let's give Peeta something more upbeat," Katniss says prodding Haymitch with her elbow.

My grin grows wider as Katniss lets the last of her reservations go. Haymitch lets out a loud sigh but that doesn't stop him striking up a more up tempo number. Katniss grins as she recognises the song and starts singing along.

We spend the next hour sitting in the bar, laughing, singing and acting like normal people for once in our lives.

* * *

Katniss and I see Haymitch up to his bed before we leave him lying there and make our way back to our apartments. Neither of us say anything as we walk side by side down the streets of Seam. Katniss' apartment is first while the one I rent from Joel is a few minutes further down the street.

"You definitely need to sing more often. Best thing I've heard all year," I say.

A small smile spreads across her face as we continue to walk along.

"Thank you. It actually felt good to sing. It didn't make me as sad as I thought it would," she replies.

"It didn't remind you too much of your dad?" I ask.

Katniss shakes her head.

"No, it did, but in a good way. I have so many good memories of singing with him. It was a nice way to remember that," she says.

I nod my head in understanding.

"I think even Uncle Haymitch enjoyed it. He must really like you if he's willing to play for you," she says.

I laugh as I shake my head.

"I don't know about that. He grumbles about me most of the time," I reply.

"That shows he really likes you. He only groans about the people he cares about," she says.

I laugh again before another silence falls between us. We walk a bit further along before Katniss speaks again.

"He's slept in his bed every night for the last month. That hasn't happened since Aunt May died," Katniss says.

I nod my head in agreement.

"I think we are all getting a little better. We'll have our good days and our bad days but I have hope things will be okay again," I reply.

Katniss nods her head before she turns to face me.

"I forgot to ask. How did things go with that man? Did he have news on Prim?" she asks.

I sigh as I shake my head.

"He was a fake. He's never seen Prim," I say.

I lower my eyes to the ground again as I try to stop my earlier disappointment from resurfacing. I was finally feeling good again.

Katniss moves closer to put a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. We come to a stop momentarily as she looks up at me regretfully.

"We are not giving up. We will find her," she says.

"I love how determined you are. After days like today I have difficulty believing that sometimes," I reply.

Katniss gives me a small smile before she slips her hand through my arm and we continue our walk towards her apartment. I can feel the warmth from her touch seeping through my body and it has the same calming effect on me as her singing does. Instinctively I pull her closer to me and slow our steps to prolong this night with her.

"It is often easier to believe in others than it is to believe in ourselves," Katniss replies.

I nod my head but her apartment is looming ahead of us and all too soon we are in front of her doorstep. She pulls her arm away to turn and face me properly and I get a slight panic over leaving her. I moved out two months ago but I still find it strange to not wake up to her drinking coffee every morning. I know I moved out to stop myself falling for her before either of us were ready but as I stand in front of her now, dreading the moment she says goodnight, I think that maybe there is nothing I can do to stop myself.

Katniss lingers on her doorstep as she plays with the keys in her hands. She looks up to her bedroom window before turning back to face me.

"It's still weird not having you around. I wake up expecting to hear you singing badly in the shower every morning and am almost disappointed not to hear it," she says.

She lets out an awkward laugh and I realise that she misses me too. I smile at her fondly as I stick my hands in my pockets to stop myself from doing something stupid like reaching out and kissing her.

"Yeah, my new apartment is definitely quieter. Though Joel does like to pop round unannounced just to see if his favourite tenant has everything he needs," I reply.

"Joel definitely has boundary issues," she agrees.

We share a smile before silence falls between us again. I know this is the best time to wish her goodnight and go back to my apartment. But I find I still can't do it. Katniss looks up at me again and almost looks nervous about what she is going to say next.

"My nightmares are more frequent without you here. It was comforting to know you were just in the other room," she admits.

I am shocked that she is being so honest about it but I can't deny that I don't feel the same. My nightmares have also doubled since I left and I rarely get a good night's sleep. Just the knowledge of Katniss' presence was enough to help keep the nightmares away.

She's looking deep into my eyes for any kind of sign that I feel the same way too. She doesn't want to feel alone in this and my heart melts just that little bit to know she misses me as much as I am missing her. Part of me desperately wants to tell her that I'll move out of Joel's and help keep those nightmares away but I know that is not the right thing to do. We are not ready.

"I know exactly what you mean," I reply instead.

Relief floods Katniss' eyes as she realises I feel the same way and my heart beats just a little bit faster at the knowledge I helped her feel at ease.

I know I need to go now otherwise I'll begin sprouting things that she is not ready to hear so I lean forward and wrap my arms around her. I pull back only slightly after to look into her beautiful grey eyes.

"If you have a nightmare, just call me. Whatever time of night. I'll be there ready to listen," I say.

Katniss nods her head as she keeps her eyes locked on mine. Her lips are so close to mine and our noses gently brush together. My heart rate goes into overdrive and my palms begin to get sweaty. She doesn't break my stare and I don't think she would pull away if I closed the gap. I close my eyes as I lean my head against hers. I take a deep breath before pulling away to press a kiss on her forehead. It takes all my will power to pry myself away from her and turn away. I don't look back as I walk away as I fear one look at her will cause me to run right back into her arms.

* * *

My nightmares take a different turn that night. I don't see Mom or Prim but instead only Katniss. Except Gale is there too and they are both laughing at me. They cackle about how stupid I am being. How Katniss could never care about me. That Gale isn't really dead. That our whole friendship is just some joke the two of them came up with.

The nightmare isn't as horrifying as my usual ones but it leaves me feeling even more demoralised. I realise now that my biggest fear isn't not finding Prim, it's having Katniss abandon me.

I feel a bit weird when I enter the bar the next day. I keep telling myself that I can't fall for Katniss right now but everything I am feeling points to the fact that I am. And I'm falling hard. I don't know what this means for our friendship.

Haymitch is up when I arrive and even offers me food as I sit down.

"You look like shit today. Did you and sweetheart have an argument again?" Haymitch says as he pushes a plate of bacon towards me.

I sigh as I pick at the bacon.

"No. We didn't have an argument. The opposite really," I admit.

Haymitch finishes chewing on his bacon as he contemplates me carefully.

"You didn't tell her you love her, did you? I mean I know you're a bit dim but even you must know she's not ready to hear that with Gale's ring still on her finger," he replies.

I sigh again as I shake my head.

"No. And I'm not in love her," I say.

Haymitch snorts.

"And the sky is not blue," he says.

I look up to glare at him and Haymitch puts his hands up in defence.

"Look, I know the situation is tough for you. Just hang in there. She's a lot closer to falling in love with you than you think," he adds.

I frown at him but don't get time to question him further as Katniss bursts through the door. She's breathless and the hairs fly around her face but her eyes are bright and she has a massive smile on her face.

She leans against the door as she tries to regain her breath and Haymitch and I look at her confused. Eventually her breaths slow down and she looks at us with excitement.

"I've got news on Prim. Darius called this morning and told me his friend in Meadowview arrested Prim last night. She's been released but she's still there. They are keeping a close eye on her to make sure she doesn't escape. We've found her, Peeta," Katniss says.

It takes a moment for the news to sink in. I shake my head in disbelief.

"Are you sure. Are you sure it's her?" I ask.

Katniss bobs her head enthusiastically before she reaches into her jeans pocket to pull out a bit of paper. She unfolds it and holds it in front of my face.

"It's definitely her. They sent this picture. I know it's a mug shot but this is the first glimpse of her you have had in over a year!" Katniss exclaims.

I reach out to clasp the picture in my hand. Her blonde hair resembles rats' tails and her eyes are sunken into her face but it is my baby sister. I can overlook how awful she looks because it's evidence that she is alive.

I look up at Katniss with a mixture of disbelief and relief. Katniss smiles at me and I push off my feet to lift her up and squeeze her tight. She slides down my body and smiles at me again as she looks up at me. I'm so happy, I am almost giddy.

"Thank you so much. I don't know where I would be without you," I say.

Katniss grins back at me and gives my waist a gentle squeeze.

"We did it together. Now come on. We need to pack. It will take a whole day to get to Meadowview. Uncle Haymitch, I've arranged for Delly to come and help out at the bar. Will you two be okay on your own?" she asks.

Haymitch nods his head and waves his hand to tell us to go.

"Go and get that sister of yours. A drug addict is more likely to take my side," Haymitch says.

Katniss scowls at him but I am too happy at the news to be mad at him for his insult on Prim. I grin down at Katniss and give her another big hug.

"I'm ready to go. Let's get Prim back," I state.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks to everyone that is still reading this story. You're feedback has been really motivating. The search for Prim will be the focus over the next few chapters and I know a lot of people are anxious that she is found.**

 **Thanks to my beta, LavdenderVanilla for all her feedback on this chapter. This chapter flows so much better because of her.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 _Katniss_

Peeta waits impatiently for me on the sidewalk as I pull up in my car to greet him. After he had picked me up and spun me around in happiness we left Uncle Haymitch and rushed home to pack a bag for the trip.

Peeta is clearly anxious to get going and paces up and down as he runs a hand nervously though his blond curls. The car doesn't even come to a complete stop before he walks round the back of it and lifts the trunk to put his bag in. He practically throws himself in the seat beside me in eagerness.

"Come on. We better get going. Meadowview is on the other side of District 12. It's going to take us a whole day to get there," Peeta says.

I nod my head in agreement. It is going to be a long drive and with Peeta this agitated it's only going to feel longer.

"Peeta, take a deep breath. We'll get there in time. Darius said that Prim is not going anywhere any time soon," I reply.

Peeta takes a deep breath as he turns back to look out the front windscreen. He runs another nervous hand through his curls as I turn the key in the ignition and start our journey.

"I'm sorry I'm so restless. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much. Everything else has been a disappointment. It seems too good to be true," he says.

I smile at him sympathetically as I reach across the console to grab hold of his hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. Peeta startles at my touch but he does seem to calm down a little.

"I understand why you're cautious. And I think you are right to be. You're just protecting yourself so I am going to be the one that stays positive. I think this is the time we find her," I say.

Peeta smiles back at me gratefully and gives my hand a squeeze in return.

"Thank you. It does feel a little different this time. Almost like I can feel how close she is to me," Peeta replies.

I give his hand one last reassuring squeeze before I reluctantly withdraw it and turn my attention back to the road. There is a moment of silence as Peeta's leg stops bouncing and he looks out on the world as it passes us by.

"What exactly did Darius' friend say about Prim? What does he know about her?" Peeta asks.

"He didn't have too many details. Just that his friend arrested her last night for theft but there was no evidence to charge her so they let her go. He did say that she and Cray have been causing lots of turmoil in the town and that's why they are keeping a close eye on Prim now. They want the evidence to put her and Cray away," I say.

I glance nervously towards Peeta. After everything I have heard so far, it doesn't surprise me that Prim has got herself into more trouble. She's being influenced by people a lot older and more corrupt than her and it must hurt Peeta to know that there are people out there determined to catch Prim and lock her away for a long time. I only hope we can get to her before that happens.

Peeta sighs as he slumps back into his seat. He shakes his head in disapproval as he lets this bit of news sink in.

"She looked so much worse in that photo they sent. I've never seen her so skinny. And her eyes. They looked dead. I couldn't even pick out the sparkle of blue in her irises," Peeta says.

He draws into himself as the most recent image of Prim haunts him. I know he is blaming himself for the deterioration of her appearance. It was a shock even for me to see the photo that was faxed through. Prim is only nineteen but she looked like someone in her thirties in the photo. It was clear looking at the picture that the old Prim is not quite there anymore.

I don't want Peeta to dwell on his guilt. We'll hopefully find her soon and we can work together to help Prim get better. After seeing the picture it's going to be harder work than I originally thought but it is only going to work if Peeta stops blaming himself for what happened.

"Tell me something good about Prim. I know she must be more than that girl in the photo. Tell me something happy about her," I say.

Peeta hesitates at first. He's focused so much on the bad things that he struggles to remember the good things. The reasons why he loves his little sister. He takes a deep breath as he searches for the right place to start.

"She loves animals. As a kid she was always forcing me to dress up as dogs, cats and horses and used to pretend that I was her pet. Her favourite thing to do was go to feed the ducks at our local park though she always got upset if one duck was greedier than the others. She hated for the smaller ducks to be left out," Peeta reminisces.

He relaxes back into his seat and I smile as I hear him talk affectionately about his sister.

"We once found this kitten with cuts on its paw and half its ear missing by our trashcans. Our mother wanted nothing to do with it and told us to drown it in the bathtub but Prim was having none of it. We hid it inside her wardrobe while she nursed that ugly cat back to full health. The day the kitten was well enough to chase a bit of string around the floor was the happiest I ever saw Prim. So, even though I knew Mom would beat us senseless if she ever found the cat, I let Prim keep it and did my best to pull the wool over our mom's eyes. I even once had to eat a whole tin of cat food to convince her the tin was some new tinned stew and not pet food," Peeta says.

He wrinkles his nose at the memory of eating the cat food and I laugh. He may still blame himself for what's happened to Prim but it's obvious he cared for her.

"What happened to the cat?" I ask.

Peeta smiles as he shakes his head.

"I have no idea. It was gone by the time I eventually got back to see Prim. I shouldn't worry about him though. Buttercup was nothing but a survivor. He's probably convinced some other loving family to take him in and treat him like a king," Peeta replies.

I laugh again before a silence falls as Peeta enjoys some of his good memories.

"What about you? Tell me a good story about Gale. Or your parents. I swear it makes you feel better," he says.

I smile and shake my head at him. Trust Peeta to turn my own distraction technique back on me. I have talked very little about my parents or Gale since I met him. I grip the steering wheel a bit tighter as my natural coping mechanisms come up and I want to refuse Peeta a story. But he shared one with me. And he doesn't seem sad about it. In fact he looks the lightest and happiest since he got in the car. Maybe it is not that hard to talk about my family.

I take a deep breath as I loosen my grip on the steering wheel and continue to look out on the road.

"We all went camping once. I think it was a year before my parents died. Gale was making fun of my dad for getting old and boasting that he was now the fittest and most agile in Seam. We all knew Gale meant it in good natured way but my dad hated being called old. He couldn't let Gale get away with it," I begin.

Peeta turns to look at me as he listens carefully and gives me an encouraging smile.

"Dad managed to find this bush that had been marked with wild cat piss and he cut it up and stuffed it in Gale's backpack. As we set off for a hike that day Gale couldn't work out why this male wild cat kept following him about. No matter what he tried to do, the cat followed him. He ended up running and tripping into a marsh as the wild cat pounced and began pawing his rucksack. The backpack was lost to that cat forever and Dad couldn't stop laughing as Gale trudged back covered in mud and cat piss. I'm not sure Gale actually ever forgave Dad for that," I say.

Peeta lets out a loud laugh once I finish my story.

"Your dad sounds liked he loved getting up to mischief. I think I can understand why he is still remembered so fondly in Seam," Peeta says.

I turn briefly to look at Peeta

"Everyone loved Dad. He was a lot like you. Charming and friends with everyone. Everyone came to him for advice," I reply.

Peeta blushes and drops his eyes to his lap.

"I highly doubt that I am that well liked. Thom still wants to hit me every time he sees me," Peeta says.

"No. People love you in Seam. Even Thom admitted to me recently that you weren't all bad," I reply.

Peeta brings his head back to look at me. He holds my stare and a shiver goes up my spine. I snap my head back to look at the road. It makes me nervous when Peeta looks at me like that. I'm not ready to admit just how much I care about having Peeta in Seam.

* * *

We pull into a motel later that evening and after having spent the remainder of the car journey swapping stories about our families and playing silly car games. We are still six hours away from Meadowview but we agree it is best to get a good night sleep before we try and confront Prim tomorrow. After having a bite to eat in some small diner Peeta catches sight of bar with a sign advertising karaoke. He turns to me with excited eyes and a huge smile.

"Look. There's karaoke on tonight. We should totally go. I bet you can beat every singer in there," he says.

I shake my head at him.

"We can go but I'm not singing," I reply.

"But you are so good. Your voice deserves to be heard," he says.

I shake my head.

"It was fine singing in front of you and Uncle Haymitch but I can't perform in front of a live audience," I say.

The thought of performing in front of people makes my heart grip in anxiousness. The last time I performed in public my parents were rushing to their deaths. Already my mind is going back to that night and I know if I get up to perform I am just going to relive it all over again.

Peeta doesn't have to ask to know the reason behind my refusal. He lets out a slightly dispirited sigh as we begin making our way to the noisy bar.

"Fine. You can just listen but there is nothing stopping me getting up there," he replies.

"Peeta, you may have one of the worst singing voices I have ever heard. Drowned cats sound better than you," I say.

Peeta turns to me with a grin and a shrug of the shoulders.

"But isn't that the point of karaoke? Everyone sounds shit apart from the one person at the end that amazes everyone so that all the crap is forgotten," he says.

"Go ahead then. But if people start throwing things at you I'm going to pretend I came with someone else," I say.

Peeta grins as we push our way into the bar.

"You'll probably be the person to start the throwing," he replies.

I laugh as we find a seat in the corner. Peeta pulls the stool out for me and I smile at him as I sit down. He then darts off to get some drinks at the bar. I really hope that he doesn't go up there to sing. It would be so embarrassing. But then again Peeta doesn't seem to get embarrassed. Another thing he and my dad have in common.

I look around the bar while I wait for Peeta to come back with the drinks. It's a mainly middle aged crowd tonight and, just like our bar back home, everyone seems to know everyone as they laugh and joke with each other.

There is a rather tragic rendition of Christina Aguilera's _Beautiful_ being sung by a man in his thirties wearing a nose ring and purple spikes in his hair. A few of the locals laugh and point and the catcalling starts within about twenty seconds of the song. I shake my head at the singer's performance and am glad that it is not me up there.

Peeta comes back just after the man finishes his song and places two bottles of coke down in front of us. I raise my eyebrow at his choice of soft drink.

"No bourbon tonight?" I say as I pour my coke into a glass.

"You're the one that keeps telling me alcohol is evil," he replies pouring his own glass.

I shake my head at him.

"I never said it is evil. Just destructive," I reply.

Peeta grins at me as he takes a sip of his drink.

"I don't want to be hungover when we find Prim tomorrow. I don't need anything clouding my judgement," he says.

I don't say anything in return but a smile spreads across my face. Peeta tips his head to the side and raises a questioning eyebrow at me.

"What?" he asks.

I smile again as I shake my head.

"Nothing. I'm just proud of you," I reply.

A grin spreads across Peeta's face before he sits back in his chair and takes a sip of his coke. He doesn't need to tell me that my comment means a lot to him.

We sit drinking our cokes contentedly while we watch the various singers get up on stage and sing. Most aren't actually that bad though Peeta makes me laugh throughout the performances with his quick observations and witty remarks. But then suddenly the MC is on stage and announcing Peeta for the next performance.

My eyes go wide and I reach forward to stop Peeta going up on the stage.

"You're not seriously going up there? Peeta, everyone else tonight has been half decent. The crowd are going to be on you in a second," I say.

Peeta looks down to where my hand is resting on his arm before he looks back up at me with a grin. He leans in closer to me and stares at me challengingly.

"If you are that concerned about me making a fool of myself then you should come up there with me," he says.

I let out a loud sigh as I shake my head. The MC is calling Peeta's name again and there are already drunk patrons clamouring for Peeta to stop being a pussy and to just get up there. I fear these men are not going to be kind to him.

I look around the room and at the demanding faces. Someone has started a slow clap to try and encourage Peeta up there and more catcalling arises. I can't let Peeta face this alone. I turn back to face him with a shake of my head.

"You're getting pretty good at this emotional blackmail. It's the only way you get to hear me sing," I reply.

A grin breaks across Peeta's face and my heart flutters a little at the sight.

"That means you're going to do it?" he asks.

Reluctantly I nod my head and stand up with him to go to the stage. Peeta's grin grows impossibly wider as he links his fingers with mine and leads me towards the stage. Ironic cheers of delight rise up in the bar as the crowd feel that they have pushed us into performing. Peeta takes it all in his stride and smiles and waves at the crowd as we get up onto the stage.

I stick close to Peeta's side and try to stay almost hidden behind his back. Standing on stage again, looking out at the sea of faces, makes my stomach go into knots and a nauseous feeling rises in my chest. I move in even closer to Peeta. Being close to him makes me feel safe. Nothing bad is going to happen as long as I am holding his hand.

"What are we even singing anyway?" I ask.

Peeta turns to look down at me with a grin.

" _Sweet Home Alabama_. It was on one of the old CD's my dad left and Prim used to love singing it," Peeta replies.

I shake my head at the very obvious bar song. It gets played repeatedly in our bar in Seam.

"You are so unoriginal at times," I say as a microphone is thrust into my hand.

Peeta gives my hand a reassuring squeeze and bends down to look me in the eye. The sight of his clear blue eyes calms me and I let my shoulders relax a little as a result.

"This song is a crowd pleaser. Got to give the people what they want," he states confidently.

I still think his choice of song is corny but it is not like I have any better suggestions. I've grown to trust Peeta enough these last few months to trust him with this song choice.

All too soon the MC steps away and the first bars of the song begin blaring out. I drop my eyes to look at the screen with the lyrics on it and try to ignore the hammering in my chest. My palms begin to get sweaty at the thought of performing in front of an audience again but Peeta must sense my apprehension as he gives my hand a squeeze and when I turn to look at him again he is staring at me with a reassuring smile. That smile is enough to quench the nerves in my chest and I keep my eyes on him as I open my mouth to sing the first line of the song.

Peeta's voice is worse than I remember and I immediately hear people laughing and pointing at him as he sings. A protective urge in me hates that they are making fun of him and I raise my own singing voice to hopefully drown out his tone deaf tones.

Peeta grins when he hears me singing and my plan seems to be working. The sniggers and pointing stop as my own voice becomes the overriding sound.

Something happens as we carry on singing. My nerves disappear. My thoughts about my parents vanish. My whole body relaxes and my heart seems to swell with happiness. Peeta notices this and smiles at me proudly as I let the last of my inhibitions go. He twirls me around and I shake my hips in time with the music. The crowd goes silent as I finally let myself enjoy singing and dancing with Peeta again.

The endorphins are racing around my body and I can't stop the smile on my face. I completely lose myself to the music and the man I am dancing with.

We finish the song with Peeta dropping to his knee and me sitting down on it, throwing my arms in the air with a flourish. Peeta and I both look out on the crowd with big smiles and laughter rising in our chests. The crowd seems to pause for just a moment before the whole place erupts and people rise off their chairs to give us a huge round of applause. My heart begins to swell with happiness and pride again and I look over to Peeta with a giddy smile on my face. I fling my arms around his neck and squeeze him tight.

"Thank you so much. You just reminded me why I love to sing," I say.

Peeta squeezes me back and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear as we pull back. My heart begins to hammer in my chest again as he looks down at me but this time it has nothing to do with nerves.

The crowd is still on their feet, cheering and demanding an encore. But Peeta is all I can see in the moment. I don't hear them over the loud beating of my heart. Peeta's hand is still resting on my neck and my skin tingles there. An urge to step closer to him courses through me and my eyes drop to his lips. My heart rate seems to pick up even further.

Peeta is the first to break away and I am disappointed that he does. But he turns back out to the crowd to give them a thankful wave. I turn too and smile as we give them a little bow. The crowd cheer louder.

"Encore! Encore! Encore!" the crowd chant.

Peeta turns to look at me with a grin.

"So what do you think? Can you handle an encore by yourself?" he asks.

I roll my shoulders back and stare at him confidently.

"I've never been more ready," I reply.

* * *

We leave the bar just past midnight and after I performed three other songs. The crowd went crazy for my cover versions and Peeta sat proudly smiling throughout. I have got so much adrenaline running through my body that I am not ready to go to bed just yet.

However it is pouring with rain when we leave and Peeta immediately takes off his jacket to give it to me. I cover it over my head as we stand in the doorway looking out on to the raindrops hammering onto the ground.

"We're going to get soaked!" I exclaim.

Peeta turns to me with a grin.

"Then we might as well make the most of it," he replies.

I look at him with a frown, confused about what he means, before he gives me one last smile and dashes out into the rain. However, instead of running in the direction of our motel, he runs right into the middle of the rain and begins splashing and jumping into puddles. I look on at him confused.

"What are you doing?" I call over the noise of the down pour.

Peeta stops to turn and look at me with a bright smile. His white t-shirt has become completely soaked through and I clings to his well-defined chest. My eyes linger there before he sticks his hands in the air and lets the rain continue to soak him.

"What does it look like? I'm playing in the rain!" he exclaims.

"You're crazy!" I say.

Peeta just smiles at me again.

"No. I'm just celebrating the fact that you absolutely killed it in karaoke in there and I spent an entire night in a bar without touching a drop of alcohol. We might even find Prim tomorrow. I think that is progress for us both," he states.

I shake my head at him.

"This is how you want to celebrate? By getting hypothermia?" I question.

Peeta shrugs his shoulders before he splashes in a big puddle.

"Didn't you ever do this as a kid? Kids are fascinated with puddles. It is one of the few memories I have of my dad. Splashing in puddles with him and Prim," Peeta replies.

I shake my head at him again. It is totally ridiculous and childish but it is totally Peeta and I have never regretted something he has encouraged me to do before. I remind myself that it is okay to have fun and be silly every now and again. So I take a deep breath, take the jacket off my head and pause for just a moment before I dash into the rain to join Peeta.

I shriek as the cold water hammers down on my back and I am already soaked through when I reach Peeta. He waits for me with a big grin and I smile up at him. The earlier endorphins from singing are still in my body and make me feel excited.

"Nice for you to join me," Peeta says.

I laugh and shake my head.

Before I have time to do anything else Peeta kicks a massive puddle in my direction, soaking me further. I look up at him in indignation but he just laughs before darting away to escape me. I narrow my eyebrows at him before I chase after him and begin splashing him with puddles too.

"You are totally going to get it!" I declare as I chase after him.

Peeta just laughs as he darts further away from me. I manage to find an empty bottle that has been filled with rainwater and chase after Peeta with it. Peeta dodges and hides behind benches and lampposts as I race to try and catch him. We both get a few splashes in before I eventually manage to corner him against a wall. I raise the bottle of rainwater above his head and begin tipping it forward.

"How does it feel to be caught by a girl?" I say as I teasingly tip the water above his head.

It's still raining and his blond hair is plastered to his forehead as the water droplets slide down his cheek. My body is pressed against his as I pin him to the wall and I feel the heat of his body through our soaked clothes, warming my heart in an unexpected way.

"Maybe I let you catch me," he replies.

"Nope. Not accepting that. Just admit that I am better than you," I say.

Peeta grins as he leans forward to look me straight in the eye. My breath catches as he moves in close to me and I get distracted by just how blue his eyes are.

"Fine. I admit it. You are the best and Queen of the World **.** I am hopeless and useless in comparison," Peeta replies.

I am about to nod my head in approval, happy Peeta is playing along, when he reaches up and grabs the bottle of rainwater out of my hand. I am so distracted by his eyes, I relinquish it easily. The next thing I know, Peeta is pouring the contents over my head. I shriek as the cold water covers me and Peeta laughs before he escapes again. I stand shivering for a moment before I turn back round to try and get my revenge.

We take it in turns to be chased and it always ends with one of us catching the other and pouring rainwater on the other's head. Our shrieks of delight fill the quiet streets of this town as we run about like children. I can't remember a time I have laughed so much.

Eventually we are forced back to our motel as the shivers begin to take hold of our bodies. I rub my hands furiously up and down my body as we step into our motel room to try and warm up. I wrap my arms around me as Peeta and I leave a small river on the carpet.

"I haven't had fun like that in a long time," I say.

Peeta turns to me with a grin.

"Me neither. Finding Prim has taken up so much of my life recently," he replies.

I smile at him as I nod my head.

"We'll find her tomorrow," I state.

Peeta smiles at me gratefully.

"I hope so," he says.

I smile at him again before I look around the room for a towel. I want to get out of these wet clothes as soon as possible. As I am looking for a towel, Peeta reaches down for the bottom of his t-shirt and pulls the soaked garment off his body. Immediately my eyes are drawn to his bare torso and I can't help but stare at his naked chest.

I caught a glimpse of his well-toned muscles once his t-shirt had soaked through but I am not prepared for the flash of heat that courses though my body at the sight of it in front of me now. I gulp as I take him all in, wet, toned and littered with scars. My eyes flick to the long jagged scar on his side and can't imagine how anyone could want to hurt him in that way.

The longer I stare at him, the warmer I feel. Something stirs in my abdomen and I shift uncomfortably on my feet.

"Why don't you take a picture? It lasts longer," Peeta says.

His voice brings me to my senses again and I jerk my head to look at him. He looks at me smugly, greatly amused that he caught me staring. A flash of annoyance courses through me and suddenly I want to make him feel just as uncomfortable. Without even thinking I strip off my own shirt and stand staring at him in just my bra.

I almost laugh when I see how quickly the grin is wiped off his face and his eyes drop to my wet chest with my pert nipples straining against the fabric of my bra.

"What's the matter? Never seen a bra before?" I ask.

It is my turn to smile smugly as I see how my half naked body affects him. Peeta pulls his eyes back up to look at me and my heart skips a beat when I see the look in his eye. His pupils become thick and his expression serious.

"I've never seen _you_ in a bra," he replies, his voice a tone deeper than it was a moment ago.

My heart begins hammering again and a jolt of pleasure settles in my core. A long forgotten feeling of longing and lust rises in my body and my underwear becomes wet with want.

"Well, if the sight of it makes you uncomfortable I better fix that," I say.

Without breaking his stare I reach round and unclasp the clip of my bra and I let it fall to the ground. Peeta takes a deep breath as his eyes drop to look at my breasts exposed to the air. He licks his lips as he drinks in my dark nipples and toned stomach.

I haven't been looked at like this in a long time. Like I am about to be his next meal. It surprises me that I like that Peeta is looking at me in this way.

I'm not ready for a relationship with him but I want him. Need to feel him. I didn't think I would ever feel this way about anyone ever again. I thought I could only feel that for Gale but in this moment Peeta is all I want.

Peeta drags his eyes away from my chest to look back at me and in that instant I know that he feels the exact same. The desire continues to curl in my stomach and makes me wetter still.

I don't know who makes the first move but we suddenly snap together. We clash as Peeta grips my head in his hands and I dig my nails into the tops of his shoulders. My mouth is open and ready for him as he brings his lips to mine and seals them with a searing kiss.

A hunger consumes my body as I cling to him and kiss him fiercely. My hands roam everywhere, mapping his scars and defined muscles, desperate for my fill of him. His hands move from my face to skim down my sides and rest on my waist. He grips me just hard enough to make me moan and push against the front of his pants. Peeta groans as I press my core into his long, hard erection and the sound sends yet more pleasure to my abdomen. I break away, breathless, as I grind against him and Peeta drops his head to suckle on my neck.

I turn him around and push him down onto the bed. His lips are plump and his wet hair sticks out at odd angles. My eyes drop to the very obvious erection in his pants and I keep staring at it as he watches me strip the remainder of my clothing.

I thought I would feel more nervous about exposing myself to another man in this way. Gale is the only man to see me naked but I feel totally comfortable in front of Peeta. He looks at me with such a mixture of awe and lust that it only makes my thighs clench. I trust him completely.

Peeta runs his hands up my sides again as I move to straddle him. His thumbs brush against my nipples and I shiver with pleasure. Peeta continues to gently toy with my nipples as he looks up at me.

"You are so beautiful," he says.

The words are soft but the heat behind his eyes is not. I lean down to capture his lips in a deep kiss as I rock against him while he takes a firmer grip on my breasts. He begins moulding and kneading the mounds in his hands and it is not long before I am panting again. Peeta removes his lips from mine and begins kissing a trail down my neck and chest until he reaches the twin peaks of my breasts. My nipples stand erect and to attention and Peeta ducks down to capture one fully in his mouth. I let out a loud moan as I lean back to allow him ease of access.

The pain in my clit is throbbing now and my hips begin to unconsciously rock harder against Peeta. Peeta groans as he pops my breast out of his mouth and rests his head against my shoulder. He grips my hips tightly as he watches me rock against him.

"Fuck, Katniss. You're killing me," he says.

I laugh lightly as I stop my rocking and gently remove myself from his lap. I bend down and undo the buckle of his belt. Slowly I pop the button at the front open and pull the pants down his legs. I toss his pants into a corner of the room and then move my way back up to remove his boxers as well. His erection springs free and points up all ready and red and just waiting for me to touch it.

He's shorter than Gale but wider and the heat curls in my belly again. Involuntarily I lick my lips at the sight. Peeta smirks when he see this and reaches out to bring my head back up to look at him.

"You looking at my dick like it is a corn dog just might be the sexiest thing in the world," he states.

I blush but he grips my head tighter and shakes his head.

"No. Don't be embarrassed. You honestly don't know the effect you have on me," he states confidently.

I'm stuck staring at him and I know he is being deadly serious. I don't know how to respond so I do the only thing I can think of and kiss him. Peeta accepts my kiss readily and slowly pulls me down with him onto the bed. His big hands skim down my spine and rest on the round globes of my ass. He gives my ass a firm squeeze and I groan into his mouth. I move to straddle him again and sit back up to look at him.

Peeta's thumbs trace patterns on my hips and he looks up at me with a lazy, content smile. I can feel him throbbing, hard beneath me, and know that this is my last chance to turn back. I always thought the first time I was with another man it would feel like a betrayal to Gale but everything with Peeta just feels so right. I've barely thought about Gale this entire time. He's not what I want anymore. Peeta is.

Peeta waits patiently for me to make the next move. He knows I need to make this decision by myself and lets me take my time. I may not be ready for a relationship with him just yet but his hands feel so good against my skin and my juices are dripping onto his thigh. I need this man.

Slowly I delve back and reach for his erection. I gently run my thumb up and down his length before I grip him a bit tighter. Peeta groans again as he pushes his head back against the pillow.

"There's a condom in my wallet. We can use that," he says.

I nod my head before I get off the bed and search for the wallet in his pants' pocket. I find the little silver packet and bring it back to the bed. Peeta watches with fascination as I rip the packet open and roll it down his length. I look at him one last time and the look of adoration in his eyes melts the last of my nerves away. I hold him at my entrance for just a moment before I slam my hips down on him.

I let out a loud gasp as I feel him fill me. I take a moment to get used to him before I raise slightly on my haunches and move myself up and down him. Peeta keeps his eyes on my face as he lets me set the pace and I alternate between moving up and down and swirling my hips in a circular motion. The combination of moves means the coarse hairs at the base of Peeta hit my clit just right and his name begins falling from my lips.

It feels so good having him fill me again and again and Peeta watches with awe as I ride him. He snakes a hand round my thigh and reaches for my clit and begins to rub it in time with my thrusts. The pleasure is intense and I hang my head back as my thrusts get faster. Peeta smiles at me as he feels me clench around him and the coil in my belly winds tighter. I feel fit to burst and all too soon my walls explode around him. I cum crying his name and hang my head in breathlessness as Peeta continues to rub me through my orgasm.

I am just about to collapse on top of him when Peeta suddenly wraps his arms around my back and flips us over so he is on top. He pushes one of my legs up onto my chest as he grips my waist tighter and begins pounding into me with abandon.

I am too boneless from my last orgasm to do anything other than let him take control. I am almost too sensitive to take his penetration but Peeta doesn't give up and soon my orgasm is building stronger than before. He's in so deep and I dig my nails into his shoulders as he hits my g-spot perfectly again and again. The pleasure is almost too intense that tears gather in my eyes.

He continues to pound into me and I let out a string of expletives as my second orgasm comes crashing over me. I really am boneless now as I sag against the mattress. I've never managed to cum twice before.

Peeta's grip tightens once more as he pumps into me a couple of more times before letting out a long groan and filling the condom. He collapses on top of me, equally breathless, and with a grin to match mine.

"Fuck. That was amazing," he declares.

I manage a weak laugh as I struggle to catch my breath. Peeta smiles back at me as he reaches for my left hand. He links our fingers together and runs his thumb over my knuckles.

"You don't regret anything? Do you?" he asks.

There is just the hint of nervousness in his eyes which I find adorable. How can I regret anything after the sex we just had? I may not be able to offer anything else right now but I am one hundred per cent sure that was the right thing to do.

"Never," I reply.

Peeta relaxes and smiles. He leans over to place a soft kiss on my lips. I'm smiling as he pulls away.

We fall asleep soon after, side by side and with our hands joined together. It is only as Peeta gives my hand one last squeeze before he falls under that I realise that I never put on my engagement ring this morning.

* * *

 **A/N: I know a lot of people are eager to find Prim and they are close. You'll just have to be patient a little while longer.**

 **Thanks to my Beta, LavenderVanilla, for spotting and fixing so many of my mistakes. And thanks to everyone that keeps reading. I'm glad so many of you are eager to find Prim.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 _Peeta_

I wake with an incredibly warm feeling in my chest. I am already smiling as I open my eyes and catch a glimpse of the sleeping girl beside me. Sunlight streams through the thin drapes, casting a golden glow around Katniss' head and making her even more beautiful.

As I wake today, I realise there is no use denying it any longer. I'm in love with her.

But Prim is still my main priority at the moment. From the stories we've heard, Prim has serious issues and just removing her from Cray isn't going to solve things. She's going to need a lot of support, encouragement and love to get better again. I'm not going to have time for anything else. I love Katniss too much for her to always be my second priority.

My mood slightly drops at the thought of explaining this all to her but I allow myself to bask in the afterglow of last night for just a moment longer. Reality can wait for a few seconds. I lie staring at her with a stupid grin on my face.

"You've been staring at me for ten minutes. It's kind of creeping me out," Katniss suddenly says.

Her eyes remain closed but I notice a subtle shift in her body position as she begins to wake fully.

I grin as I prop my head up on my elbow and look down at her.

"You should take it as a compliment. You don't scowl in your sleep. It improves your looks a lot," I tease.

Katniss' eyes immediately snap open and, as if to emphasis my point, she scowls at me. I laugh as I roll onto my back and look up at the ceiling.

"You're so easy to wind up at times," I chuckle.

Katniss scowls again as she also turns on to her back and crosses her arms defensively against her chest.

"You and Uncle Haymitch seem to be making a habit of it," she huffs.

I grin as I turn my head to the side to look at her.

"It all comes from a place of love. And Haymitch makes fun of me just as much," I reply.

Katniss shakes her head before turning to face me.

"No. He definitely picks on me more. You're his favourite. The fact we're blood related only seems to go against me," Katniss replies.

Her scowl has gone and her arms have relaxed against her chest. I grin at her again as a moment of silence fall between us. This interaction feels totally normal for us. Like nothing has changed.

"So, last night…"I begin.

I trail off at the end as I look at Katniss nervously. I chew on my bottom lip as I look deep into her eyes. Katniss can be difficult to read at times and I'm not one hundred per cent sure how she is feeling this morning. I just hope it is something similar to me.

A shy smile spreads across Katniss' face and she ducks her head down to avoid looking directly at me. She begins fiddling with the tail ends of her hair.

"It was good. I really enjoyed myself," she replies.

"No regrets?" I ask.

Katniss looks back up at me as she shakes her head fiercely. She reaches a hand out to gently place it on my arm.

"No. I wanted it. You mean a lot to me," she replies.

I let out a sigh of relief. It's not a declaration of love but it is enough to let me know that she cares about me. That I am not alone in my feelings.

I take a deep breath as I run a hand through my tangled curls.

"You mean everything to me. You don't even know all the ways you've supported me. I only wish I was in a better place for you. Because there is nothing more that I want than to be with you. To love you the way you deserved to be love. But I need to help Prim first. I can't be with you until then," I say.

Katniss smiles at me and nods her head in understanding.

"I know. And I'll help you with Prim in any way you need me. I've got issues of my own. It still scares me to think about committing myself to someone who isn't Gale. We just have to be patient," she says.

I let out my second sigh of relief. We can put a pin in this for now and concentrate on our other issues. But it will still be there to come back to. When we are both ready.

"Thank God you understand. I really didn't want to give the 'It's not you, it's me speech'," I say.

Katniss chuckles and the sound sends tingles up my spine.

"Damn. I would have liked to see you bumble your way through that," Katniss replies.

A grin spreads across my face as I shake my head. Katniss continues staring at me with a smile.

"Come on. We've got a sister of yours to find. I've got a feeling today is going to be the day," Katniss says.

And just like that my thoughts switch to the other important girl in my life. Prim is so close to me now. I can't let her slip through my fingers again. I only hope we can get her away safely.

Katniss and I rise separately as we take turns to shower and prepare for the day. We are both sticky and sweaty from last night and it is a relief to feel the cool jets of water against my back. We have a quick breakfast before hopping back in the car and driving the last six hours towards Meadowview.

We don't mention last night again and we spend the remainder of the car journey how we did yesterday, playing car games and swapping stories about our families, but we both seem lighter today. Our smiles are freer and laughs more frequent. For someone who was so reluctant at first to play car games, Katniss is now a full on pro. She is the first to suggest one and gets very competitive as we play.

It is as we are driving along that I notice her bare ring finger resting against the steering wheel.

"You're not wearing your engagement ring," I state.

I don't even remember seeing it as we came together in a tangle of limbs last night. How long has she not been wearing it? Katniss glances down at her finger and flexes it out in front of her. She nonchalantly shrugs her shoulders as she puts her eyes back on the road.

"I forgot to put it on yesterday. I didn't realise until the end of the day. I don't think I'll be wearing it again," she says.

I'm surprised by her response. I thought she would have been distraught at the thought of not wearing it again. I mean she was so upset when we almost kissed the first time that she began wearing it again. I just assumed she would be feeling a little guilty about Gale after what we did last night. But I now realise that she is closer to letting her fiancé go than I originally thought.

It just makes me even more determined to find and help Prim. I don't want Katniss left waiting for me. I am desperate to be in the right place for her.

* * *

Meadowview is one of the larger towns in District 12. However, as it is on the outskirts, it is often forgotten about and wealth has never really made it here. It is a warren of lacklustre concrete grey buildings, many with missing windows and derogatory graffiti sprawled across the sides. It is like the sun decides to hide as soon as we approach the town and all the light and life seems to be sucked out the place.

Katniss drives along the gloomy streets carefully. We pass burnt out cars and a group of kids hurling tins cans into an abandoned building. Both of us dart our eyes nervously around, hoping that nothing troublesome comes our way.

It doesn't surprise me that Cray ended up in a place like this. He fits right in with all the drug dazed people and petty criminals. I only wish he hadn't taken my sister along with him.

There are many people out on the streets but they all move lethargically and with no real purpose. I see some shaking in doorways as the withdrawals take hold of their bodies and spot one suspicious looking meeting in an alleyway. As Katniss continues to manoeuvre the traffic, I search the sea of sunken faces and grey skin, almost dreading actually catching sight of my little sister. I don't want to have to admit she has fallen so deeply.

After a demoralising twenty minute drive through the town, we eventually make it to the police station where Darius' old mentor works. I gulp as I step outside the car and look up at the thick concrete walls with barbed wire at the top. The words " _Fucking Cops!_ " are sprawled across the walls and I am a little intimidated by the obvious hatred for the people who are trying to keep this town safe.

Katniss sees my nervousness and slips her hand easily into mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Remember I'm right here beside you. We're in this together," she states.

I turn to give her a weak smile in gratitude but the butterflies in my stomach don't disappear. This is not a good place and the thought of Prim living here makes me nauseous. And then there are the nerves that this is just another dead end. It takes a lot of my courage to put my foot forward and climb up the steps to the cop station.

Inside is chaotic. There are people everywhere. Some are angry relatives demanding to see their spouses or children. Others are bedraggled drugged up people curled up on benches or swaying dangerously on their chairs. Most disturbingly is the ten year old boy who is being dragged into an office, arms failing in the air and loud curse words leaving his lips as he proclaims his innocence. Katniss and I stand stunned for a moment before Katniss regains her senses first and pushes us towards the front desk.

"Hi. I'm Peeta Mellark. I have a meeting with a Detective Castor," I announce once we have reached the desk.

The harassed young cop managing the desk looks up at me and shakes his head.

"No one is taking meetings today. There was a brawl in the town centre today. As you can see, we're having trouble processing it all. Come back tomorrow," he replies.

I didn't come all this way just to be turned away again. A little angrily, I take a step towards the desk and slam my hand down against the top of it.

"I'm sure if I come back tomorrow that there will have been some other major incident and you'll turn me away again. Detective Castor is expecting us and I'm not leaving until we see him," I say determinedly.

Katniss looks at me a little impressed. The young cop looks up at me stunned. Clearly with all the high and abusive people around he thought I would be a pushover. But I am not going to be pushed around again. I've let too many people do that to me in the past.

The cop looks to Katniss and she nods her head in confirmation. There's a line of angry people forming behind us and they are getting impatient as we hold them up. Sensing another riot will break out if he doesn't deal with us quickly, the young cop lets out a defeated sigh and pushes his chair back.

"Come on. This way. I'll get Castor for you," he says.

I smile in triumph as Katniss and I follow the cop through to an office in the back. He leaves us sitting there while he goes to find Detective Castor.

The name plate on the detective's desk is the only thing distinguishable among the pile of papers that fill his desk. Katniss takes a seat on one of the chairs but I am too nervous to sit still. I pace the room looking at the police journals that fill the shelves and admiring the achievements the detective has on his wall.

"I've never been so glad that Seam is a boring town where nothing happens. I couldn't handle dealing with this every day," Katniss states.

I nod my head in agreement. Seam is definitely quiet and the highlight of the week is the quiz we host in the bar on a Thursday but it at least means there is not much crime. Most people leave their doors unlocked and the biggest scandal that happened since I arrived was the accusation of cheating in the annual miners versus merchants town baseball game.

The door opens a moment later and a smiling detective with cropped brown hair and a full beard walks in. He looks to be in his early forties and smiles at us warmly as he strides towards me and offers me his hand.

"Detective Castor. You must be Peeta Mellark. Darius has told me good things about you. Apparently you make the best pulled pork sandwiches," the detective says.

I smile at him as I take his hand and shake it firmly.

"I'm not sure they're the best but I would say definitely in the World's top three," I reply.

Detective Castor laughs before turning round to face Katniss.

"And you must be Katniss Everdeen. Darius tells me you were one of his partners in crime when you were all teenagers," Detective Castor says.

Katniss smiles and shakes his hand.

"I was the one that kept him out of trouble," she replies.

The detective laughs again as he takes a seat behind his desk. Katniss and I both follow suit and sit opposite him.

"That I can believe. Darius was always up to the most mischief at the police academy. I had a hard time reigning him in," the detective says.

There is a sort pause as he arranges some papers on his desk and I wait with bated breath to find out what information he has on Prim.

"I'm sorry we are not meeting in better circumstances but I believe you are related to a young Miss Primrose Mellark. Unfortunately she has been on our radar for a while now," he says.

I nod my head as I lean forward to listen to him.

"That doesn't surprise me. She's got herself into some bad company. She's been missing for over a year. I've already heard horrible stories about her," I say.

Detective Castor looks at me sympathetically.

"Well, I'm not going to tell you anything that contradicts that. She came to Meadowview about three months ago with her boyfriend, Owen Cray. Even in this town, where crime happens on every street corner, they soon made a name for themselves. Drugs, burglary and disturbing the peace. They've racked up a long list of misdemeanours," Detective Castor says.

I nod again as I hang my head down. Katniss reaches out to put a comforting hand on my arm, keeping her eyes on the detective.

"We heard she got arrested a couple of days ago. Can you tell us more about that?" she asks.

The detective nods his head as he flicks through his papers and shows us the picture of Prim that had already been faxed through.

"We got a call from a man early in the morning stating he had been robbed by the girl he took home the night before. A Primrose Mellark. His wallet, car keys and his $1000 watch were all missing. He claimed that she took it all while he was sleeping. I think it was pretty obvious that she did but when we searched her premises none of the items were in her possession. My guess is that she had already sold them onto a third party. There was a wad of cash in her wardrobe but she claimed it came from selling some jewellery. We didn't have evidence so we had to let her go," he says.

"Where is she now? Is she still with Cray?" I ask.

Surprisingly the detective shakes his head.

"Cray disappeared two weeks ago. He's wanted for armed robbery and we have a great shot of his face on CCTV to put him away for a while. He fled soon after, leaving your sister behind, but we are pretty sure he is going to come back for her. We're monitoring her movements in case he does come back and he we are hopeful about intercepting him," the detective says.

There's relief to find out Cray has gone. It should make getting Prim easier. He's not going to put up a fight for her.

"We've come to take her away. Far away from Cray," I state.

Detective Castor shakes his head.

"That might not be enough. And she might not want to come with you. I think the only reason she hasn't taken off is because she is waiting for him. It's not going to be easy to convince her to leave him," he says.

I let out a loud sigh as I lean back in my chair. I haven't factored in that Prim may not want to come with me. She shouted some pretty vile and only slightly untrue things about me the last time we saw each other. Getting her back is not going to be as easy as I thought.

"Can we see her? Where is she staying?" I ask.

"She's staying at this abandoned house on Victor Street. It's a notorious hideout for Meadowview's petty criminals. Full of drugs and young girls who are desperate for the next hit," Detective Castor replies.

The bile rises up in my throat. The look on the detective's face tells me that these girls go to any lengths to get their latest fix. It sounds like Prim has been selling herself again.

Katniss sees me go pale and gives my arm a tight squeeze.

"We're not going to let anyone take advantage of Prim any longer. We are going to get her the help she needs," she says determinedly.

I smile up at her gratefully and she gives my arm another reassuring squeeze. She then turns back round to face Detective Castor.

"Thank you so much for your help. We've been looking for Prim for a long time," Katniss says.

The detective smiles at us and folds his hands in front of him.

"It's no problem. I only wish I had better news. I really do hope you are able to help your sister," he says.

He seems genuine about this and I realise that he is not desperate to put every troubled young girl behind bars. He knows that many of them are just lost young things that need the appropriate type of love and support.

Detective Castor gets up to stand and I thank him as I shake his hand. Katniss disappears to go and get the car as the detective gives me a card with his number on it.

"If you need any more help just give me a call," he says as he hands it to me **.**

I smile at him gratefully before stuffing the card in my pocket and turning to look at Katniss disappearing down the corridor. Detective Castor follows my gaze and smiles when he spots who I am looking at.

"You're a lucky man. You've got a very supportive and determined girlfriend. You must love her a lot," he says.

I blush a little at his misinterpretation of our relationship. Detective Castor chuckles lightly when he sees the blush rise on my cheek and heartily slaps me on the back.

"Don't be embarrassed. I was young and in love once too. Make sure you treasure what you have. Girls like that don't come along very often," he says.

I smile awkwardly at him but don't correct him of his mistake. I turn back round to just catch sight of Katniss' braid whipping and disappearing round the corner. I can't believe how obvious my feelings for her are. I only wish things were better to allow my dreams to become a reality.

Detective Castor gives me one last pat on the back before he turns to deal with all the other drug raids and shootings in the town. I pause for only a moment before regathering my senses and following Katniss out to the car.

We follow the detective's directions to the abandoned house that Prim is staying in. The house is slightly further past the town centre and away from the hubbub of daily life but still close enough for people to get to easily.

The streets around the house are quiet. Only a stray cat crosses our path as we approach. The house itself is huge. It obviously used to be some kind of manor house. It's three stories high with large bay windows, although these are all boarded up so no natural sunlight can get into the house. Knotted weeds push through the cracks in the path and a pile of garbage sits smouldering by the door. Heavy bass music pumps from within the house, making the ground vibrate. As we approach the entrance, rats run across our toes.

Katniss and I jump back and stand staring at the rodents that have just run across us. Slowly we turn to look up apprehensively at the house.

"I can't believe Prim is living here. I can smell the decay and weed from here. No one should live like this," I say.

Katniss grips onto my hand tightly.

"We've nearly found her. We're going to take her away from places like this," she replies.

I shake my head in disbelief.

"For the first time in my life I think living with our mother would be more preferable to here," I state.

Katniss gives me a sad smile before encouraging me to knock on the door. I take a deep breath as I step forward and raise my hand to knock. I rapt a few times before stepping back and waiting for someone to answer.

Nothing happens for a long moment and I wonder if anyone heard us. I look back to Katniss and she shrugs her shoulders in confusion. I am about to step forward to knock again when the door is wrenched open, leaving my raised fist in mid-air. I immediately drop it to my side and look up nervously at the fierce looking man in the doorway.

The man is older. Maybe early fifties and has a closely shaved head and ice cold eyes. He may be old but he is strong with muscles that even Thom would be jealous of. He wears a greasy vest and has large gold rings on his fingers. He chews on the end of a roll up cigarette as he looks down at us fiercely.

I tuck Katniss behind me, wanting to shield her form this man. The man narrows his eyes as he spits his cigarette to the ground and stamps it out with his boot.

"What do you want?" he growls.

I take a deep breath and reach for Prim's marble in my pocket as I prepare myself to speak to him.

The music is louder now that the door is open and I can see several people moving through the darkness behind him. Many of them seem to be young females and, if their giggles and shrieks are anything to go by, they are high on some concoction of drugs. I spy one slip and stumble on a chair and she laughs as some burly man picks her up and presses her against his crotch. He's soon dragging her off to some dark corner to finish what he started.

I look away from the girl to look back at the man. Prim could be in there right now, throwing herself at some guy all she can pay for the next fix.

"I'm here to see Primrose Mellark," I state.

I try to sound confident but inside I am trembling. This guy could crush me like a bug if he wants to. And I am so close to Prim. I can almost feel her. This guy is the only thing stopping me from finding her.

The man eyes us suspiciously. Already I wish that Katniss and I had chosen to wear some tattier looking clothes. We look too clean and healthy to be around here.

"Who's asking?" the man asks as he squares his feet at us and crosses his arms across his chest.

My heart is hammering in my chest. I don't think I have met a more intimidating man. I look back nervously to Katniss for support. She squeezes my hand again for reassurance.

"We're friends of hers. She's expecting us," I say, trying to sound calm.

The man narrows his eyes at me as he looks at me for a long moment. I hold my breath waiting to see if he will let us in but after a long moment he shakes his head and moves his hand to close the door.

"Sorry. No visitors allowed," he states.

He begins closing the door and I begin to panic. This can't be it. My heart begins to beat faster and I lurch forward to wedge my body between the door and the frame.

"Stop! I need to see Primrose Mellark," I state.

The man stops closing the door to look at me with a glare but I don't notice him because suddenly I catch sight of a blonde head of hair. She stumbles out a room holding a plastic cup and she has to rest all her weight against the door frame as she stops to down the contents of the drink. She drops the cup carelessly on the ground before she stumbles towards the stairs.

She's so much skinnier since the last time I saw her. Her collarbones protrude out her skin and there are bruises all over her arms but it's her. It's Prim. I'm finally looking at my baby sister again.

"Prim! Prim! It's me! Peeta!" I shout.

She turns, confused, towards the sound of my voice but her eyes struggle to zone in on my features. She wobbles as she stands and I shout her name again. I shout at the top of my voice, desperate for her to recognise me.

But it's no use. She's too high to focus on and recognise who I am. After a few more moments of my yelling she turns away and stumbles into some dark room. My heart plummets in my chest as I watch her go again.

The big guy is still holding the door but with Prim's departure he puts his hand on my chest and shoves me out the door.

"Time for you to go, buddy. You won't come back if you know what's good for you," he states.

He then slams the door in my face and I am left looking at the only bit of wood that separates me from my sister.

* * *

 **A/N: So we've finally had our first sighting of Prim! And she's not in a good place. Getting her away from here is not going to be easy.**

 **Thanks to everyone who continues to read and enjoy. And thanks to my beta, Lavendervanilla, who although works crazy awards still manages to squeeze in betaing my chapters for me. This story is better because of her.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks to everyone that has followed/favourited/reviewed this story. I know it has been a bit of a roller coaster so far.**

 **Warning: There are images of drug use and non-consensual sex in the chapter that some people may find upsetting.**

* * *

Chapter 11

 _Katniss_

I watch stunned as the door is slammed in Peeta's face. He stares at the door, shell shocked and motionless. My heart clenches as I see the devastated look on his face. It only takes him a minute of staring before he lunges at the door and begins banging his fists rapidly against it.

"Damn it, Prim! Prim, please hear me!" he yells through the door.

He bangs the door so hard I'm scared his fists are going to bleed. I lurch forward and grab his wrists to stop his bashing. He struggles against me as his cries for Prim get more strangled. My arms wrap around him and hold him tight, until he stops thrashing.

"Stop, Peeta. You're only hurting yourself. We need to leave and regroup," I state.

Slowly his cries soften and his body stops jerking against mine. Eventually he stops completely until his whole body sags against me. I don't let go of him as I lean my forehead against his. Silently the tears begin falling down his cheeks. I know all I can do for him at this moment is be here for him.

After what seems like an eternity, Peeta eventually speaks. His voice is croaky from all his screaming and I hate the despondency he has in it.

"She didn't even recognise me. She looked right past me," he chokes out. "She's in there but I still can't get her out. I don't know what to do."

My heart grips when I hear the helplessness in his voice. I know he is blaming himself again for the situation Prim has got herself into. My heart goes out to the young girl inside. I have had some bad times in my life but even in my darkest moments I can't imagine making the choices that ended with Prim here. I can't imagine how desperate and lonely she must have felt.

Peeta is acting defeated again. It doesn't take a lot for all his hopes to be dashed. He's been let down too many times in the past. But I am not about to let him give up. We are closer to Prim than we have ever been. We're not leaving Meadowview until we get her.

"We'll think of a plan. There has to be a way into that house. Or we can intercept her when she comes out. I don't have it all figured out but we'll come up with something. Together," I state determinedly.

Peeta looks up at me with tired but hopeful eyes.

"Together?" he asks.

I smile at him and take his head in my hands. I look him deep in the eye as I speak to him.

"Together," I confirm. "I'm not giving up on Prim and neither are you."

Peeta gives me a weary smile and pulls me close to his chest. He squeezes me tight as he buries his nose in my hair. I squeeze him back as I try to give him some more strength. He needs to believe more.

Slowly we pull back and Peeta lets out a sad sigh. I slide my hand down his arm to interlink our fingers together as we make our slow walk back to my car.

"I feel so tired," Peeta says.

"We have time to rest. We know where Prim is now. We can take our time figuring out how to get her out," I reply.

Peeta nods his head as we approach the car.

"I guess I have to be patient for a little while longer," he sighs.

It's the best I'm going to get out of him now. We get into the car without any more words and our heads racing with ideas of how to get Prim out.

* * *

Peeta collapses on the bed as soon as we get back to the motel but my brain is buzzing too much with thoughts about Prim to join him. As he closes his eyes and tries to get over this latest disappointment, I grab a paper and pen from the dresser and begin jotting down any ideas that come into my head.

Peeta wakes about an hour later to find me hunched over the dresser, chewing on the end of the pen and tapping my foot lightly against the floor. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes as he sits up and looks at me confused. I stop my foot tapping to turn and look at him. An excited smile spreads across my face as I see that his is now awake. I lunge off my chair to jump on the bed next to him. I smile up at him as I show him the bit of paper I am scribbling on.

"I think I've got it. A way to get Prim," I say, practically bouncing on the mattress next to him.

Peeta looks at me sceptically as he takes the bit of paper out of my hand. I doubt he can make much sense of my scribbles randomly arranged on the paper.

"What's your plan?" he asks.

"It was stupid of us to just turn up like that. It was obvious by our clothes that we didn't run in their circles. We need to blend in more," I state.

Peeta shakes his head.

"But that guy saw my face. I'm pretty sure he'd recognise me if we turned up again even if we had different clothes on," he says.

"He got a good look at you but he barely glanced in my direction. If we mess me up a bit I bet he won't recognise me. And if I go there with cash they are not going to refuse me entry," I say.

Realisation dawns on Peetam and he begins shaking his head furiously as he moves to grip my hands.

"No, Katniss. I can't let you go in there by yourself. It's too dangerous. Who knows what's inside," he says.

"That's exactly why I need to go. Or don't you remember that Prim is still in there? This may be the only way to get her out," I say.

Peeta shakes his head again.

"I'm not going to let you risk your life for this," he states determinedly.

"You're being a bit melodramatic. Don't you want Prim back?" I reply.

Peeta leans forward and grips my hands tightly.

"Of course I want Prim back but not if it risks the safety of the only other person I care about," he states passionately.

My heart sinks at his words. If this situation was reversed I would be terrified at the thought of Peeta going in there. I would do everything in my power to convince him not to. I can't lose another person I care about. But I also know that if the situation was reversed, Peeta wouldn't be dissuaded. If it was my sister in there he would go in a heartbeat. No matter what. He'd do it for me.

I squeeze his hands and lean in closer to him. The terror in his eyes is even more prominent this close. I wish there was an easier way.

"I care about you too. And that's why I have to do this. Let me do this for you," I say.

Peeta opens his mouth to protest again but I stop him with a firm shake of my head.

"I'm not arguing with you anymore. I'm going in and there is nothing you can do to stop me," I state.

I hold his stare and eventually Peeta's shoulders sag in defeat. He releases my hands and leans back on the bed.

"You're so stubborn," he sighs.

I let my lips quirk up into a small smile.

"So I've been told. But it's going to help us get Prim back," I reply.

Peeta sighs again before leaning forward and reaching up to cup my face in his hands. He gently caresses the side of my face as he looks deep into my eyes.

"I just want to keep you safe," he says.

I smile sweetly at him as I reach up to place my hand over his. I keep his stare as I answer.

"I promise to get us both out of there," I reply.

* * *

The next morning I stand awkwardly in the doorway of the bathroom, tugging down the bottom of my skirt and fiddling with the neckline of my top. I've never felt so exposed.

Peeta eyes me carefully as I stand in front of him. I know I don't look anything like myself. After our discussion yesterday we went into the centre of town to find some clothes that would make me look like a convincing drug addict. I now wear a short denim skirt that is frayed at the hem with a tight white tank top that we spent all of last night dirtying up with grease and food stains. I've thrown on a navy long sleeved top with holes in it and fight the urge to wrap it fully around my body to cover up my chest. My hair is knotted and piled high on my head and I've applied a layer of foundation, a shade paler than my skin tone to try and appear sickly. The rest of my makeup has been smudged and I wobble slightly on my too tall high heels. I chew my bottom lip nervously as I wait for Peeta's reaction.

He looks at my sadly as he takes me in. While I know there will be men who would leer at me dressed like this, it only pains Peeta. I grow even more anxious as he stays quiet.

"Do I look convincing? I need to stop feeling so jittery before we get there," I say.

Peeta snaps his eyes to look back up at me and shakes his head. He gets off his seat to come and stand in front of me. He reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

"No. Your nerves make you more convincing. I assume most girls are nervous about going there," he says.

His words make me feel a bit better. I've never been a good actress and even though I now look the part, I'm not sure I can pull off the acting side of things.

Peeta sighs as he continues to look at me. He keeps his hand resting against the base of my neck while his thumb gently rubs circles there. If we were in a different situation I can imagine the butterflies that would swirl due to his touch.

"Run me through the plan once more. I don't want anything going wrong," he says.

I nod my head as I stroke a bit of his hair back. I'm nervous but at least I will know what is happening. Peeta is going to be stuck in the car wondering if Prim and I are going to get out okay.

"I go up asking if they have any drugs. I'll show them the money and hopefully they'll let me in. Once inside I will try to sneak away and find Prim. I'll check upstairs first and once I find her, sneak out the fire exit at the side of the house. You'll be in the car waiting for us and ready to drive us away," I reply.

Peeta nods his head in agreement but still looks worried. He sighs as he leans his head against mine.

"I still don't like it. There's still so much that could go wrong. You can't sneak away. Prim's not there. They recognise you," he says.

"If I sense things getting out of hand I'll leave. I promise I won't put myself in any danger," I reply.

"Just you going in there is putting you in danger," Peeta says. "But this is probably our best chance of getting Prim back."

I give him a small smile as he takes a step back and fishes something out of his pocket. He reaches out and puts the small object in my hand. It's a brightly coloured marble that is chipped a bit round the edges.

"A marble?" I ask.

Peeta nods his head.

"It's Prim's. I gave it to her when she was small and told her it was magic. That as long as she had it no one would harm her," he says.

My heart clenches as I am reminded what Peeta's mother did to them both. For all that Peeta blames himself he was once a very caring and protective big brother.

"Show it to Prim when you find her. Hopefully it will make her trust you," he adds.

I nod my head as I curl my fingers around it. I clutch it tightly in my hand as I look back at Peeta.

"I'll keep it safe," I reply.

Peeta gives me a small smile as he reaches out to caress the side of my face.

"As long as you stay safe with it," he says.

I smile back at him and Peeta leans forward to press a kiss on my forehead. My skin tingles where his lips meet my skin and some of my nerves disappear. When he pulls back his eyes scan the room looking for his keys and his wallet. With me now dressed there is nothing left but for us to go back to that house and get Prim.

* * *

I take a deep breath before I raise my hand to knock on the door. The nervous butterflies have multiplied in my stomach and I'm scared whoever answers the door will be able to hear my heart hammering loudly in my chest. I quickly glance back to my car, which has Peeta sitting anxiously inside. He catches my eye and gives me a brief smile before I turn back to face the door. I only have to wait a couple moments more before it is wrenched back and I am staring at the same guy as yesterday. The man still intimidates me but I remember who I am doing this for and tell myself to be brave. There is a young girl in there that has it much worse than me.

The man glares down at me and I shiver when I see his eyes slide over my body. His eyes end up resting on my chest and he licks his lips as he continues staring. I hold my breath as I wait to see if he recognises me.

"What do you want?" he demands.

I take a shaky breath, relieved he doesn't seem to recognise me, as I fumble about for my purse and removed the notes I have stashed in there.

"I was looking for a fix. I was told I could get something here. I have money," I say.

I fan the cash out in front of him and he reaches forward to take it. He flips through it, mentally counting the total before being satisfied and tucking it under his arm.

"Follow me," he states.

I take another deep breath as I prepare to take a step into the house. I can feel Peeta's anxious eyes watching me as I take a step in and fight the urge to turn round and look at him for reassurance. From now on he won't know what I am doing.

The door closes behind me and my eyes struggle to adjust to the gloom of the entrance way. The smell of sweat and weed fill my nostrils and makes my nose crinkle. The only light comes from dim wall lamps that flicker and shut off. Scraps of foil, used syringes and burnt out cigarettes litter the floor. We pass several people as we weave through the corridors but they all seem to be passed out or duped up and most don't even notice us walk past. The few that do make me shiver as they look back at me with hollow eyes and pale faces.

I stumble over what I think it a pile of dirty rags until it lets of a groan as I tread on them. I jump back as the person underneath stretches out their arms and makes a low growling sound. The man who is leading me looks back angrily and grabs hold of my arm to drag me away.

"Keep moving. Don't disturb the trash," he snarls.

His hand is large and sweaty against my arm and I struggle to wriggle away from him. He pulls me along the rest of the corridor and throws me into a room at the end of it. I struggle to keep my balance on my heels and fall back against the wall. The man's eyes fall to my legs, where my skirt has ridden up, and his glare turns to a lustful glint. The look he gives me makes me shiver again and I press my back against the wall. He takes a step towards me and reaches out to touch the side of my face. It takes all my courage not to flinch away from him.

"I'll get Crane to come and see you. He should have what you want," the man says.

His hand runs down the side of my neck and toys with a lock of hair that has fallen loose there.

"If you ever don't have the cash, I'll be more than happy to help you out. There are other ways you can pay me," he says.

The bile rises up in my throat and I wonder if this man has slept with Prim as payment for a debt. The thought of him having his hands on her makes me feel sick and I am glad that Peeta is not here to see this. I don't think he would have been able to control his temper.

"I'll keep that in mind," I reply.

The man gives me a leery smile before he steps forward and smells my hair. He inhales deeply and grins as he steps back.

"So sweet," he says.

My skin crawls again and I watch him cautiously as he turns to leave. I let out a huge breath of relief once he has gone and closed the door behind him. I want to scrub my skin clean after my encounter with him. But I don't have time. I've struck lucky and I have been left alone in this room. This will make it easy to sneak off in search of Prim. But who knows how long I have before they come back. I need to move quickly and find Prim as soon as possible. Without another thought about that man, I push myself off the wall and head for the door.

No one turns to look at me as I push open the door and enter the gloomy corridors. I carefully pick my way through the garbage and drugged up people and make my way up the stairs.

My eyes flit about nervously, hoping not to catch sight of that man again or be caught by someone who questions my presence. There are several bodies of young girls lying on the steps of the stairs and I search their faces for any sign of Prim. But I don't catch sight of her blonde hair and blue eyes.

There is a warren of rooms when I reach the top of the stairs. Most have the doors missing and I can clearly hear and see what is going on in each one. The majority of people up here seem to be female and most don't look more than in their mid-twenties.

I walk past girls tapping their skin to get their veins to show and almost want to stop to pull the syringe out their hands. Aren't there people out there who care about them? What's happened to force them to end up living here? Some reach out for my legs and beg me for some cash or a fix. If I had the time I would want to get them all out of here. It makes me mad that the police know these girls are in here and yet they do nothing to help them.

I find no sign of Prim on the stairs or the corridors so begin peeking in rooms to find her. The girls in the bedrooms are in an even worse state than the ones on the stairs. Nearly all are passed out and many lie naked on the beds. In one room I find a man rutting on top of a young girl who looks blankly at the ceiling as he pounds into her. I am about to step in and pull the man off her when I suddenly catch sight of a blonde head of hair in the room next to them. I leave the girl behind as I take a step closer to the blonde girl.

I tread carefully into the room and find that the girl is awake but her eyes are hazy and struggle to focus in on me. However my heart leaps for joy when I recognise the familiar shade of blue in her eyes. The identical shade of blue to her brother's.

"Prim! It's you!" I exclaim as I bend down closer to her.

Prim groans and tries to swat me away but her hand misses me by miles. I grab hold of her shoulders and shake her gently to try and get her to focus.

"Prim, you need to get up. I'm Katniss, a friend of your brother's. We've come to get you out," I say earnestly.

Prim groans again as she rolls her head against the pillow.

"Peeta?" she asks.

It's clear she's on something and has no clue what is going on. At least she is dressed although her top is torn at the top and exposes a lot of her breast. I turn my head to look around the room and find a blanket draped against a chair. I grab it and wrap Prim up so she is less exposed.

"Yes, Peeta," I say before I reach into my purse to pull out the marble he gave me.

I push the marble into Prim's hand and bring it up for her to see.

"Peeta gave me this to give to you. He wants you to know that he's not going to let any harm happen to you again," I say.

Prim still struggles to understand what I am saying but her eyes do zone in on the marble in her hand. She squints and then there is a flash of recognition. Her fingers curl around the marble and she holds it close to her chest.

"Peeta," she repeats but this time it is with some understanding.

I let out a sigh of relief that she understands what is happening on some level. I just need to get her out of here.

"You need to get up, Prim. Peeta is waiting for you. We need to go now," I state urgently.

I pull Prim up into a sitting position but her head just lolls forward and I know if I let her go she is just going to fall back again.

"Come on, Prim. You need to help me a little bit. You need to be able to stand," I say.

Prim rolls her head and I let out an exasperated sigh. I am going to have to carry her out of here. I wrap my arms around her tightly and heave her off the bed. Prim falls against me as she stands and I wrap my arms around her waist to support her.

"That's it, Prim. Now let's put one foot in front of the other," I encourage.

Prim lets out a groan of protest as I begin moving her but I have no time to molly coddle her. I've been missing for a few minutes now. It won't be long until someone comes and finds me.

As if on cue, I hear a door slam open from downstairs and someone come stomping along the corridor.

"Where's the girl who I put in there? She better not have tried to steal from us!" the male voice demands.

Panic grips my heart as I hear the guy from earlier storm through the house. I will be powerless to defend myself if he finds us. Our only hope is getting down the fire escape before he reaches us. A new sense of urgency overtakes me as I begin dragging Prim along with me.

"We need to move fast, Prim. You've got to move!" I exclaim.

Prim just groans in response as I keep dragging her along. I can hear the man downstairs barge along the corridors and soon the tremors of his footsteps shake the stairs. I look back anxiously as Prim continues to stumble along. The man's footsteps are getting louder and the fire escape doesn't seem to be getting any closer. I turn back to focus on the fire escape ahead of us and will Prim to work that little bit harder to help us get there. Finally we reach the window that leads to the fire escape.

But the stamping up the stairs stops and I look back quickly to find out the reason why. My eyes meet the ones of the man earlier and he looks at me and Prim with angry confusion.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he demands.

I don't even bother giving him an answer as I turn back round and push Prim out the window of the fire escape. Prim moans as she falls onto the ladder but I don't give her a reprieve as I jump out after her and begin pulling her down the rickety stairs. The man swears and charges down the corridor in pursuit of us.

My heart is beating rapidly in my chest and I don't waste time looking back at our pursuer as was we hurtle down the stairs. He jumps onto the landing outside the window and the whole thing shakes as he begins his descent.

"You're not going to get away from me. Cray left me Prim. She's mine until he gets back!" the man shouts.

He continues to shake the stairs as we go down and I struggle to maintain my grip on the railings as well as Prim. As the last few steps approach I look out and see the car waiting for us. Peeta catches sight of us coming down the stairs and throws the car door back so he can jump out and race towards us.

I can feel the man bearing down on us. I quicken my pace but as the man sees us nearing the bottom he stops and purposefully shakes the stairs. I finally lose my balance and topple down the last few steps. I let out a yelp of pain as I fall and roll over on my ankle. My arm drops from around Prim's waist and we both land on the ground with a thump. I reach for my ankle and grimace as I try to put pressure on it. Prim seems to be unconscious as she lies spread eagled on the ground. Peeta finally reaches us and drops down to pick up Prim. The man above us lets out a loud yell when he sees Peeta before he begins storming down the rest of the stairs.

"We need to get out of here. Can you walk?" Peeta asks me.

I grimace again as I try to stand but know there is no way Peeta can carry us both. Peeta looks at me worriedly but I know I have to move for him.

"I'm fine. Get Prim to the car. I'll follow behind," I reply.

Peeta hesitates for a second. He doesn't want to leave me but Prim needs him more than I do.

"Go, Peeta! Get her to the car!" I urge.

Peeta nods his head and looks up to see that the man is nearly at the bottom. He gives me one last look before turning and darting back to the car with Prim. I force myself to stand fully and ignore the man coming down behind me. With all the adrenaline left in my body I push down on my ankle and force myself to run towards the car. Peeta is already back there with Prim and he jumps in and starts the engine once he's put her in the back. I continue to drag my foot along the ground, desperately trying to move as fast as I can.

The rattling of the stairs stops, signalling to me that the man has reached the bottom, and I will myself to get to the car. Peeta starts driving towards me and screeches to a halt in front of me. I practically fall against the door as I fumble with the handle to wrench the door open. Peeta reaches forward to give me a hand and help pull me into the car. I groan in pain as I collapse against the car seat and Peeta wastes no time hitting the accelerator and speeding off.

I turn to look out the window as we rush away. The man has made it to our car and slams his hand against the door. My eyes grow wide as he rattles the door handle but Peeta doesn't even flinch as he just ignores the man and runs over his toes. The man lets out a howl of pain as he lets go of the car and falls to the ground. I let out a loud sigh of relief as we leave him rolling in the dirt.

I lean my head back against the head rest and turn to give Peeta a relieved smile. He gives me one in return before his eyes flick back to look at his unconscious sister in the back. Her chest rises and falls steadily and I hope it is only the drugs that have knocked her out and not a head bang.

Peeta's eyes are soon back on the road as we try to put as much distance between us and that house as possible. I finally let myself relax as I allow myself a moment of triumph at getting Prim.

"We did it," I say with a smile. "We got Prim back."

Peeta turns to me with a smile and nods his head.

"Yes. And I'm not letting her out of my sight again," he replies.

I grin back at him as I focus back out on the road ahead. There is still going to be a lot of hard work ahead of us. Prim's got a serious addiction that is not going to go away overnight. But I have faith we will get through it. We'll get through it the same way we have got through everything up until this point. Together.

We continue to drive along in a happy silence. We are so focused on our achievement that neither of us notice the two cars following closely behind us.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thanks to everyone that continues to support this story. Most people are relieved that Prim has been found, but I should warn you, this is a very different version of Prim than readers are used to. Just remember that is is circumstance that have made her this way. We're near the end now. Only two more chapters and an epilogue after this one.**

 **This story has been nominated for The Fanatic Fanfics Multifandom Awards in the All -Time Hunger Games Fanfic category. Voting starts on 11th April 2016. Head over to their website (awards. fanaticfanfics. com) to vote for the story.**

* * *

Chapter 12

 _Peeta_

I drive until it is almost physically impossible for me to keep my eyelids open. By the time we stop the sky is black and the roads deserted. I'm a little uneasy about even stopping for the night. I can't get over the feeling that someone is following us. I don't even want to contemplate what would happen if Cray or one of his cronies catch up with us. The further away we are from Meadowview the better.

The motel we stop at probably isn't going to win any awards for cleanliness. Cobwebs hang in the corners and the man at the desk belches as he takes our false names. I clutch Prim protectively to my chest as I carry her towards our room for the night. She is so skinny now that it is easier than lifting a bag of flour. Her marble is still clutched tightly in her hand and a part of me still hopes she believes in the childish nonsense that it will keep her safe.

Thankfully Prim woke up briefly while we drove away. She was a bit dazed and confused and I don't think she understood what was happening but that seemed to more to do with the drugs than the bang to the head. She fell asleep again soon after and snored the remainder of the journey.

Katniss limps behind me as we make our way to the room. Her ankle doesn't seem as bad as we originally thought but it is clearly uncomfortable. She grimaces whenever she puts too much weight on it. Katniss collapses onto a chair when we enter the room and bends down to examine her injury. She hisses in pain as she flexes her foot and I quickly settle Prim on one of the beds before rushing over to help Katniss.

"Hey, careful. We don't want you hurting yourself further," I say.

I bend down and pick up her foot so it rests on my knee. Gently I ease her shoe off and lean forward to examine it.

"It's fine, Peeta. Don't worry about me. Look after Prim," she replies.

I shake my head as I gently stretch and roll her foot to see what causes her pain. Her foot is a little swollen and I'm careful as I move it.

"Prim is asleep. She's fine for now. You on the other hand are being stubborn again," I reply.

Katniss scowls and I let a small grace my lips. She can't be in too much pain if she can find the energy to scowl at me. However she inhales sharply when I flex her foot too far so I stop my examination and gently place it back on the floor.

"We'll put some ice on it. Hopefully that will make it better," I say.

Katniss nods her head and I get up to go to the mini fridge in the corner. The fridge hasn't been cleaned in years and dead spiders lie at the bottom but there is a section for ice at the top that will do the job. I gather the contents and wrap it up in a towel before bringing the towel back to Katniss and gently holding it above the swollen area. Katniss hisses as the coldness touches her skin but soon sinks back into the chair as it begins to soothe the pain.

"Thank you," she says.

I smile up at her as I continue to hold the ice to her foot.

"It should be me thanking you. You got Prim back," I reply.

Katniss smiles and runs a hand through her tangled hair.

"I didn't think we would get away in the end. I could feel the fury radiating off that guy," she says.

"It was the most terrifying moment of my life. I've never felt so helpless waiting for you to come out of that house. I'm not letting you risk your safety like that again. I couldn't live with myself if something bad happened to you," I reply.

Katniss smiles as she leans her head back against the chair.

"I'm still here now, aren't I? And Prim is too. It was all worth it in my book and I would do it again in a heartbeat," she says.

"We may have to agree to disagree on that one. I never want to go through that again," I say.

Katniss smiles before her eyes flick over to a sleeping Prim. My eyes follow hers and we both know that things aren't going to get any easier now that we have found her.

My little sister's skin is marred with bruises and angry red needle marks. Her hair is greasy and limp. I can count every one of her ribs. It shocks me just how much my baby sister has deteriorated in the last year. It's going to take a long time to make her whole again.

"How do you think she is going to react when she wakes up? We have basically taken her without her knowledge," Katniss asks.

I sigh and shrug my shoulders. Prim was angry the last time I saw her. She'll probably be very confused and disorientated when she wakes up. It's difficult to predict her reaction now.

"I'm more worried about Cray finding us. That man said he was his friend. He's probably already told Cray that Prim got away," I reply.

Katniss nods her head in agreement.

"I guess we just have to wait and see how desperate he is to get Prim back. But at least there is a warrant out for his arrest. He'll want to keep a low profile," she says.

"I'm not sure Cray will care at this point," I reply.

Katniss and I share a worried look. I know Cray. He's not going to give Prim up without a fight.

Exhaustion finally takes over our bodies and we move over to the other bed. I suggest I take the floor but Katniss argues with me and we both end up squeezing onto the small twin size bed. At first I keep my arms to my side and put as much distance as possible between us on the small bed but Katniss grabs my arm and drapes it around her waist. I tense a little at first, not sure if this sleeping arrangement is entirely appropriate but Katniss soon snuggles back into me and my arms automatically curl round her tighter. After that, the feeling of having Katniss in my arms is so good, that it doesn't take me long to fall into a dreamless sleep.

We are woken in the early hours of the morning by the sounds of Prim's shrieking.

"Where the hell am I?" she shrieks.

Slowly Katniss and I stir and stretch out our cramped limbs. I release my arms from around Katniss and rub the sleep out of my eyes as I sit up and look towards Prim. Prim's eyes widen when she sees me and she clutches the blanket closer to her chest.

"Peeta? What the fuck are you doing here?" she asks.

I flinch at the harsh tone of her voice. I had expected her to be angry with me but the reality is always much harder to bear.

"I came to get you, Prim. I'm here to take you home and get you the help you need," I say.

"I don't need your help. I was waiting for Owen. He was coming back for me! Now he's not going to know where I am!" she exclaims.

"Cray was not good for you, Prim! Look what he has done to you!" I reply.

Prim shakes her head furiously as she looks at me stubbornly.

"Owen loves me. He's always been there for me. Unlike certain people I know. I need to get back to him!" Prim demands.

"I'm not going to do that, Prim. I know I've let you down in the past but I can't let you ruin your life with him anymore," I reply.

Prim picks up an ash tray and hurls it at my head. I duck just in time as the tray whizzes past my head and crashes against the wall.

Katniss looks up at me startled. I didn't expect Prim to get this angry.

"We're here to help you, Prim," Katniss says.

Prim's eyes snap to Katniss, who is still lying in the bed next to me. Her eyes narrow at her before she looks back to me.

"You brought your little whore along too? Needed help kidnapping and taking me away from the man I love?" Prim sneers.

My heart sinks. The Prim I knew was never this cruel. She was the girl that got upset when a bumble bee died after it stung her. But now she has no concern for other people's feelings.

"I didn't ask for your help! Take me back to Owen now! Or I swear I'll start screaming this place down. Let them call the cops so I can tell them how you kidnapped me!" Prim yells.

Katniss and I share a worried look. Prim is already making a lot of noise and it won't be long before we people begin banging on the door asking for an explanation. We have to do something to placate her.

"Fine. If that's what you want. We'll take you back. But, Prim, you have other options now," I reply.

Prim narrows her eyes at me and shakes her head.

"You never gave me an option, Peeta," she replies.

My heart clenches at her words. No further words are exchanged and Prim turns her back to us before falling back to sleep again. Katniss looks at me sadly as she puts an arm around my neck. I close my eyes and lean my head to rest against hers as I let a tear slip from the corner of my eye.

"What am I going to do? I can't take her back to him but I can't force her to stay with us either," I say.

Katniss sighs as she wipes the tear that has fallen down my cheek.

"We'll speak to her again when she wakes. She's in shock at the moment. Give her time to calm down," Katniss replies.

I nod my head but I'm not sure if that is going to be enough.

Neither Katniss nor I fall back to sleep. Our thoughts are too full with Prim. Every time I close my eyes I see Prim's angry face as she snarls that she hates me. Katniss holds me as we lie in the bed and I slowly go numb.

Eventually the sun comes up and our stomach's grumble so Katniss offers to go and get some food. The swelling in her ankle has gone down and she is able to walk on it relatively normally. I agree but warn her to watch out for anyone looking suspicious. We have to stay alert and look out for an angry Cray returning. Katniss agrees and leaves after I have placed a kiss on her forehead and told her to keep safe.

I watch her walk away and don't move until she is out of sight. It makes me nervous to see her go when there could be people after us but I need to stay with Prim. I'm not leaving my baby sister alone again.

Once Katniss is gone I turn back to face Prim and keep a watchful eye on her. She looks so innocent and vulnerable while she is sleeping. I have to remind myself that she is only nineteen even though she has experienced more pain and abandonment already than most people do in a lifetime. I can't deny that I played a part in her deterioration. She wouldn't be like this if I hadn't left. The marble has been released from her hand and it lies isolated on the mattress. I reach over to pick it up and put it in my pocket. I want to still believe I can keep her safe.

Prim eventually stirs again and groans as she wakes.

"I feel sick," she moans.

Immediately I pick up the trash can and dart over towards her. I barely reach her before she grabs the rim of the can and empties the contents of her stomach in there. I scrunch my nose as I watch her retch into the can. Once she finishes heaving I put the trash can down and get her a glass of water. However Prim turns her nose up at it and pushes my hand away.

"I need a fix," she states.

I put the glass down and sit on the bed opposite her. The withdrawal symptoms are kicking in. She is even paler than yesterday and sweat gathers on her forehead.

"There's no heroin here," I reply.

Prim sniffs loudly as she wipes her nose with the back of her hand.

"Well, you be a good big brother and get me some," Prim says.

"I'm not going to do that, Prim," I reply.

Prim eyes widen in indignation.

"So what? You are now going to act like the responsible big brother? You had seven years to be one but you fucked that up. I don't need you now," Prim says.

"I'm sorry, okay? I know I fucked up big time but I'm here now. I've spent the last year looking for you," I reply.

"Do you want a medal for that? You were the one that left me in the first place. You left me with our mother because you were so god damn selfish and couldn't wait to get out. I had to endure six years of her moods and outbursts. _Alone_. Six years where she found every possible way to hurt me. At least Owen was there for me. He was the one that took me away from her," Prim exclaims.

The guilt curls around my heart again. Prim looks at me with pure hatred in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry. I'm trying to make it up to you. Please let me help you," I beg.

The pin prick of tears gather in the corners of my eyes. I'm desperate to try and convince Prim to stay. I can't let her live like this any longer.

"Why should I ever trust you?" Prim replies.

My heart sinks at her complete lack of faith in me. But I can't give up. I reach forward and grab hold of her hands.

"Because I'm your brother and I love you," I reply earnestly.

I hold Prim's stare and try to convey how serious I am with that look. Prim eyes me suspiciously as she carefully reads my expression. She's wary to trust my words but I get just the hint that maybe she wants to believe it's true.

Nothing more is said as there is a knock on the door. I freeze, cautious about who could want to speak to us. As I debate in my head whether to answer the door or not, Katniss' voice floats through the door.

"Peeta, it's me. I forgot the key. Can you open the door?" she says.

Relieved to hear her voice, I get up off the bed to go and open it for her. Prim retches again and reaches for the trash can. I winch as I hear her throwing up. The withdrawals aren't going to be easy for my little sister and I hope we can get moving soon so we can take her to a place that can help her.

However when I open the door I find that Katniss is not alone. Cray stands in the doorway with a smug smirk and a knife pressed to Katniss' throat.

"Nice to see you again, Peety boy. Have you missed me?" Cray says.

My heart stops at the sight of him with Katniss. I am frozen to the spot as he moves past me and into the small motel room. Katniss' eyes hold a slight terror in them and I can see her fighting hard to stay calm. Cray smirks as he drags Katniss into the room.

He's not changed much since I last saw him. His red hair is longer and shaggier than I remember and he has a new scar above his eyebrow but the smug smile is still the exact same.

"I believe you have something of mine, Peeta. My buddy, Thread, told me how you and the girl busted Prim out yesterday. But he was clever enough to have someone follow you. It was remarkably easy to track you down," he says.

"I'm not letting you take Prim," I state.

Cray chuckles and presses the knife closer to Katniss' throat. I flinch and take a step closer to Cray but he stops me by wagging his finger in front of my face.

"Oh no. You don't get to come near this one until I have Prim back. I thought we could trade. My girl for yours," he says.

My heart starts racing. I can't let him have Prim but I can't let him hurt Katniss either. My mind begins whirring with all the possible outcomes of the situation. I try to scan the room for anything that could be used as a weapon if I need it.

Prim finishes retching into the trash can and sits back up to survey the scene in the room.

"Owen! You found me!" she exclaims with a smile on her face.

Cray breaks his stare on me to turn and look at my baby sister. The leery look he gives her makes my skin crawl and if he didn't have Katniss in his arms, I would throw myself at him.

"Of course I did, baby. I wouldn't leave you behind," he says.

I hate the way Prim's eyes light up when he says this. He's got his claws deep into my sister. But he doesn't care about her. He wouldn't have got her hooked on drugs and passed her around his friends if he did. I just wish Prim could see that.

"Why don't you pack a bag, baby. See what money they have. It'll help us when we start our new life," Cray adds.

Prim nods her head eagerly and begins gathering together some things. She riffles through our bags to find anything that might have some worth for selling. Happy that Prim is following along, Cray turns back to me.

"So what do you say, Peeta? You gonna let Prim and I walk out of here? Or are you going to let me hurt your pretty little girlfriend? It would be a shame if you did. Such a pretty face. And feisty too. It took a while for me to restrain her," Cray says.

"I'm not going to let you hurt Prim or Katniss," I state determinedly.

Cray laughs again and I clench my jaw. Katniss looks at me and I can tell she has some sort of plan. As if reading her mind I nod my head in agreement.

"I would like to see you try!" Cray exclaims.

With one more nod from Katniss she elbows him in the stomach and stamps on his foot. Cray lets out a yelp of pain and drops the knife and Katniss as he does so. Katniss darts away from him just as I take a run towards him. As Cray hunches over in pain, I collide into his body and pin him to the ground. It's been a while since I wrestled in high school but I act on muscle memory as Cray and I begin grappling on the floor.

Katniss rushes over to Prim and wraps her up in her arms as the two girls watch us fight on the floor. Prim watches us with wide eyes as we both fight for dominance.

Cray recovers quickly from Katniss' earlier punch and soon pushes his hands in my face. He manages to bring his hand back just enough to land a punch on the side of my head and the impact is enough to disorientate me and allow Cray the upper hand. Seeing me slightly dazed, Cray wraps his legs around me and flips us over. I squirm underneath him as he sits on top of me and works to try and pin my hands.

"You always thought you were better than me, Mellark. Managing to beat me in those wrestling matches in your freshman year. You took the moral high ground because you didn't do the drugs and shit I did. I know it was you that reported me to the principal and got me kicked off the team. But I got your little sister. I took her virginity and got her so hooked on drugs that she would do fucking anything for me to get it," he says.

Anger courses through my body and I gather all the salvia in my mouth to spit in my face. Cray grimaces as he takes a hand off me to wipe the spit out of his eyes.

"That's not very nice, Peeta. I can't have you disrespecting me like that," he says.

He then reaches across to grab the knife he dropped early. He has a cruel smile on his face as he brings the knife up and presses it against my throat. Cray bends down so we are nose to nose and I tense as I feel the cool metal of the blade press against my skin. His yellow teeth are on show as he leans down to whisper in his ear.

"I might even have a go on your girl after I'm finished with you. Tell me, does she have a tight pussy?" he whispers.

His words infuriate me and I jerk about underneath him, desperate to throw him off me and cause him some pain. But Cray is too strong for me and just laughs. He quickly pins my movements and presses the blade closer to my throat. My heart beats so loudly that it is the only thing I can hear. But I keep my eyes pinned on Cray, defiant in my final moments. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me scared.

But suddenly I hear an almighty cry and a loud thump. The blade goes limp against my throat and Cray's body slumps against mine. A trickle of blood falls down the side of his head. I look up to see Katniss standing above us with an iron in her hand. Her hair is in disarray and she breathes heavily.

"I couldn't let him hurt you," she states.

I manage a weak laugh in relief and lie my head back against the ground. We stopped him. It's over.

But we don't get the revel in our victory because the door to our motel room suddenly bangs open and a group of cops burst into the room.

"Police. Drop your weapons," Detective Castor announces.

Katniss and I turn to look at each other surprised and Prim looks on confused. Detective Castor and the other policemen stop to look upon the scene and see Cray knocked out on top of me. One of them drops down to roll Cray off me and helps me up. Katniss dashes to my side and puts her arm around my waist to steady me.

"Are you alright? He didn't hurt you, did he?" she asks worriedly.

I shake my head as I grip her closer to me.

"No. I'm fine because of you," I reply.

The cops pick through the room now, putting Cray in handcuffs and taking pictures of the scene. Prim cowers away from the cops that go over to her to try and help. Detective Castor walks over to Katniss and me with a sympathetic smile.

"We're sorry we didn't get here sooner. We had someone tail you as you left Meadowview but we had to wait for the best moment to intervene," he says.

"You used us as bait to get Cray," Katniss replies.

Detective Castor gives us a sympathetic nod of the head.

"We're sorry about that. It was pretty obvious you were going to try and get Prim out and we knew Cray would follow you if you did. We've been watching you ever since you arrived in Meadowview," he replies.

I shake my head in disbelief. We've been used as pawns in a game we didn't even know we were playing.

"You've helped reprimand a dangerous criminal. The police force owes you a great debt," Detective Castor says.

I sigh as I nod my head. I just wanted my sister back and to keep Katniss safe. I didn't need the rest of it.

Exhaustion settles in my body. The last few days have been so emotionally draining. I've experienced so many different emotions and it's beginning to take its toll.

"I just want to go home," I reply.

Detective Castor nods his head.

"We need to take a statement from you all but then you will be free to go. You may be required to give evidence in court but we will get in contact with you if that is necessary," he says.

I let out a tired sigh as Katniss gives me a reassuring squeeze. The other cops are having a hard time speaking to Prim. She screams every time they get close and refuses to answer any of their questions. I let go of Katniss to go over to try and calm her.

"They're locking Cray up, Prim. He's going to pay for everything he's done," I say.

Prim looks at me with watery eyes and her bottom lip begins to tremble. She lets out a strangled sob as she falls into my arms.

"I loved him. I loved him, Peeta," she sobs.

My heart breaks for my little sister. Things are going to get harder before they get better. And for all Cray's faults, he gave her an escape from our mother when I could not. I just have to be here for her now and show her that life can be lived a better way.

I let Prim sob into my chest as Katniss comes over and puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I look up at her and she gives me a small smile.

"Let's take her home," she says.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thanks for all the feedback on the last chapter. I'm glad so many people are happy to see Prim safe but the majority know things aren't going to be any easier for Prim. Things will get worse for her before they get better.**

 **You can now vote for this story in the** **The Fanatic Fanfics Multifandom Awards. It's in the** **All -Time Hunger Games Fanfic category and you can vote for it at their website** **(awards. fanaticfanfics. com).**

* * *

Chapter 13

 _Katniss_

The journey back to Panem is a silent one. Everyone is in a daze about what happened. After Cray was taken away something inside Prim broke. She was near hysterical as she sobbed into Peeta's shirt and only released him to throw up again. Since then she has been silent as she lets it all sink in.

Peeta and I are quiet as we don't know what to do from here. The immense relief of seeing Cray carted away in handcuffs has been replaced with worry for Prim. We were only allowed one brief relieved hug before we were bombarded by police questions and faced with the reality of how ill Prim is.

After two hours of police questions and statements given we were finally allowed to leave and we checked Prim into the nearest hospital. It scares me just how many of her bones we can see and she barely stopped vomiting and experiencing diarrhoea while we were detained at the police station. That coupled with her feverish chills has caused both Peeta and I great concern. Neither of us have experience of heroin withdrawal. It's become very apparent that we don't know how to help her from here.

The hospital weren't much help either. They were able to patch up her physical injuries but could only give us a couple of leaflets about some drug rehab centres, many which are way out of our price zone. Until we find one we can afford Prim is stuck with just us and a prescription for suboxone to help with the withdrawals. I know it frustrates Peeta that he feels so helpless. His eyes keep flicking back to Prim as we drive. I'm pretty sure he just wants to reach inside of her and take all her pain away. Though the doctor at the hospital said that he believes every drug addict has to experience some pain before they are able to quit. I'm not sure Peeta agrees.

Uncle Haymitch waits outside Peeta's door when we arrive back in Seam. He paces up and down the sidewalk with his eyes pinned on the road in front of him. As soon as he spots my car he stops and jiggles about by my doorstep. He watches me get out the car and then rushes round to fling his arms around me.

"About damn time you got home. Darius told me what happened in Meadowview. I can't believe you put yourself in danger like that!" Uncle Haymitch exclaims.

I don't think Uncle Haymitch has hugged me in all the years since my parents have died. It's a strange feeling to have his greasy yet caring arms around me.

"I had to do it. For Peeta," I reply as we pull away.

Uncle Haymitch looks over to Peeta, who is trying to coax Prim out the car, and shakes his head.

"Only that boy could make you do such stupid things," he says.

"It worked, didn't it? We're all here, safe," I say.

Uncle Haymitch sighs and shakes his head.

"I know better than to convince you that you're wrong. Just know that I didn't like sitting here waiting for news on you," he says.

I soften a little towards him. I'm the only family he has left.

"You're getting soppy in your old age," I say clapping him on the shoulder.

Uncle Haymitch shrugs my hand off him and shakes his head.

"Don't think it's all about you. I'd miss the boy's cooking if you'd got yourselves killed," he jokes.

And just like that things go back to normal between us. The sentimental words and smiles are gone and we go back to teasing each other like we used to.

Peeta is still having difficulty coaxing Prim out the car. I'm not really sure what she is feeling at the moment. She was distraught with Cray being taken away but I think her withdrawal symptoms are overriding anything else at the moment. Even though we have her home with us I'm not sure she wants to be here.

Uncle Haymitch sighs when he sees Prim through the car window.

"So that's the boy's sister. I never thought I'd see the day I could say there was a person in worse shape than me," he says.

I turn to look at him with worried eyes.

"She's on withdrawal. Though I'm not even sure she wants to quit. The back of my car doesn't smell or look nice. We're totally unprepared to care for her," I reply.

Uncle Haymitch scrunches his nose up in disgust.

"Jesus. This must be how other people see me," he says.

I give him a sad smile and my uncle shakes his head again. I think for the first time he's realising what the alcohol does to his body.

"Prim, please come out the car. I'll be able to help you inside," Peeta pleads.

Prim groans as she clutches her stomach.

"I can't move," she moans.

Uncle Haymitch and I walk round to help and my uncle bends down to peer at Prim.

"Well today is your lucky day, princess. You can have the honour of me lifting you into the house," Uncle Haymitch says.

Prim squints up at Uncle Haymitch and looks at him quizzically.

"Who are you?" Prim asks.

"Your fairy godmother, if you wish. Otherwise known as Haymitch, Katniss' uncle," he replies.

Peeta and I share a small smile as Prim eyes him with disgust.

"You stink," Prim replies.

Uncle Haymitch grins.

"No offence, princess, but I'm not the one with vomit in my hair," he replies.

Prim reaches up to run her finger through her hair and grimaces when she comes across something crusty. Uncle Haymitch doesn't give her another moment to think as he leans in and scoops her up. Prim shivers as she is exposed to the cool evening air but tightens her grip round Uncle Haymitch's shoulder. Uncle Haymitch grunts as he lifts her up. Prim may be skin and bone but it's been a while since my uncle has lifted anything heavier than a beer glass.

Uncle Haymitch groans as he makes his way up the stairs with Prim while Peeta and I follow behind. Peeta gives me a tired smile as we go in.

"Haymitch is full of surprises. I didn't know how I was going to get her out of the car," Peeta says.

I reach over to give his arm a gentle squeeze.

"We would have figured something out. Uncle Haymitch just knows more about withdrawal than we do," I reassure.

Peeta smiles and nods his head but then he sighs and looks down at his feet.

"I literally have no idea how to deal with this. I don't know the best way to help Prim and I'm not even sure she's willing to be helped," he says.

"We take one day at a time. Right now we can give Prim a safe place to be. Let's focus on that," I reply.

Peeta nods his head again as we make our way up the stairs. Uncle Haymitch waits at the top and demands that we hurry up and open the door before his arms fall off. Peeta and I share a small smile before me meet them at the top and open the door.

Uncle Haymitch groans as he deposits Prim on the couch. Prim's arms immediately wrap around herself and she shivers as she rubs her hands up and down her arms to try and keep warm. Peeta looks pained as he watches her and leaves my side to go and comfort his sister. He picks up an old throw lying on the back of the couch and wraps it around Prim's frail frame.

"I'll run you a hot bath. The doctors said it helps with the chills and your sore limbs," Peeta says.

Prim shrugs away from his touch and turns her back on him.

"Don't baby me. It's all your fault I'm here anyway," Prim replies.

I see the impact of Prim's words. Peeta shrinks away from her and his eyes become sad.

"I'm not going to give up on you, Prim. I'm going to keep helping you until you trust me again," he replies.

Prim doesn't reply and Peeta watches her for a long moment before sighing and getting up to go to the bathroom. Uncle Haymitch and I share a worried look as we hear the water begin to run. Even if we figure out a way to help Prim, it will be useless unless she wants to be helped. And right now I think that is the last thing she wants.

I take a seat on a chair near to Prim and watch her as she shivers. I thought I would be used to dealing with this because of Uncle Haymitch but watching Prim resist any of our help just reminds me of how useless we are.

Uncle Haymitch watches Prim too before he shakes his head and heads towards the kitchen.

"I'm sure the boy has some food kicking about. I'll see what I can rustle up. Do want food, princess?" Uncle Haymitch asks Prim.

"Fuck off," Prim replies.

Uncle Haymitch raises his eyebrows and shakes his head.

"And I thought Katniss was mean. Doesn't hurt to have some manners," Uncle Haymitch replies.

Prim opens her mouth to say something in reply but she is soon retching again and I jump off the chair to place the trash can in front of her. Prim grabs the rim tightly as she vomits into it. It's just water at this point and it sloshes round the bin as she carries on heaving. I stroke the hair back out of her face but I don't think she is even aware that I am here. She's too focused on her own pain.

Uncle Haymitch scrunches his nose up in disgust again, quickly ducking into the kitchen before he is stuck on sick duty. I carry on stroking Prim's hair and rub soothing circles on her back in an effort to try and remove some of the pain.

Peeta comes back through not long after and tells Prim her bath is ready. She has stopped retching but her head still hangs over the can as she is too weary to move. She hasn't shrugged away from my hand on her back and I take that as a good sign that she may be more receptive to me that her brother at the moment. Or it could be that she just doesn't have the energy to move.

"Come on," I say as I encourage her to move. "You'll feel better after a bath. I can even get you some clean clothes."

Prim winces as she stands but begins walking towards the bathroom. I make a move to follow her but she turns round and shakes her head sharply at me.

"I don't need you to get undressed," she snaps.

Both Peeta and I flinch at her words but let her be. She walks lethargically towards the bathroom and slams the door shut.

Uncle Haymitch continues to bang away in the kitchen and we hear him swear loudly after there is a smashing sound of glass. Peeta rubs the heel of his palm into his eyes before hanging his head down low.

"She's going to resist me every step of the way. I don't know how to get her listen to me and believe I'm sorry for my mistakes," he says.

I shake my head before striding towards him and placing my hand underneath his chin to tip his head to look at me.

"You aren't going to be able to do so while she is on detox. She's going through a rollercoaster of emotions right now and it's not the right time to try and make amends. I know you want to make things right now but you're going to have to wait until Prim is in a better place," I say.

Peeta nods his head sadly as he pulls me in for a hug. He inhales deeply as he buries his head in my shoulder and I wrap my arms around him to squeeze him tight.

"And I thought getting her away from Cray was going to be the hard part," he replies.

I continue to hold him closely before there is thump and a cry heard coming from the bathroom. We both snap our heads in the direction of the sound and I have to pull Peeta back as he goes off towards it.

"Let me go. She's not as angry with me as she is with you," I say.

Peeta looks longingly at the door but nods his head and agrees to my suggestion. I give him a small smile before I make my way to the bathroom.

I slowly push the door open and peek inside. I spy Prim lying on the floor, tangled up in the pants she was given at the police station. I drop down beside her as I gently help her back onto her feet. She shrugs out of my grip once she is standing again and turns to step in the bath.

"So Peeta is now sending his girlfriend in to help me. I didn't ask for any," Prim says.

"I'm not Peeta's girlfriend," I reply.

"Okay," Prim snorts.

She shakes her head as she submerges herself into the water. The warm water instantly soothes her aching limbs and an almost content look crosses her face.

"Peeta is just worried about you," I say.

Prim shakes her head at me again.

"He didn't give one damn about me for six years. Why should he care now?" Prim replies.

She reaches for the bottle of shampoo but it slips out of her grip and clatters against the bathroom floor. I bend down to scoop it up and squirt a dollop on my hand.

"Let me," I say as I reach forward to massage the shampoo into her hair.

Prim is hesitant at first but she is clearly exhausted and eventually concedes to me massaging the shampoo into her hair. We're silent for a long time as I ponder the best way to answer Prim's question.

"I know what Peeta did but I also know how much he hates himself for it. When I first met him he used to get drunk and pick fights as punishment for how he let you down. I don't think he'll ever forgive himself for leaving you alone with your mom," I say.

"So he's told you all about our sad little story. Pity he didn't do that when we were kids. Might have been able to get away from the monster sooner," Prim replies.

I smile sadly at this bitter young girl. She's been through too much for someone her age. And she hasn't had the support to help her through these times. It is no wonder she has ended up the way she has. I have to hope, for Peeta's and her sake, that we aren't too late to change things for her.

"You're not the only one that has suffered in life. We all have our demons," I say.

Prim twists round to look at me quizzically. I grow solemn as I remember how I have lost both my parents and Gale. Prim's expression softens slightly when she see the dark look in my eyes and she doesn't snipe back a response.

"I know how easy it is to go into a dark place but I also know that things can't get better unless you let the people who love you help and Peeta may be the only person on this earth that can genuinely say he loves you," I reply.

Prim is silent as she lets my words sink in and she turns away to stare at a spot on the wall. I'm not sure she believes that Peeta loves her but he is going to try his hardest to convince her he does.

Prim doesn't say anything more as I finish carefully washing her hair. I get up and leave soon after, giving her time to process it all.

Peeta bends over a laptop screen as he clutches a phone to his ear. Haymitch has finished cooking some bacon and eggs and sits hunched over the dining table, shovelling the food into his mouth. Peeta's plate is left untouched beside the laptop.

Peeta nods his head a lot while he is on the phone and looks disheartened as he speaks.

"I understand. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me," he says.

I look at him quizzically as I take a seat beside him. Peeta lets out a sad sigh as he leans back against the couch and runs a tired hand over his face.

"What was that about?" I ask.

"Another rehab centre that we can't afford. I've been ringing round to find if anywhere will take Prim but the district funded ones are all full and the others are too expensive. I don't know what to do," he says.

My heart clenches at seeing him so dispirited and I slide over to put my arm around him and rub reassuring circles on his back.

"What can I do to help?" I ask.

Peeta turns his head to give me a small smile.

"You being here is enough," he replies. There is a short pause as he looks over to the bathroom before turning back to me. "Was Prim okay in there?"

I nod my head.

"I talked to her about how you've been looking for her and she didn't snap my head off. I think once the withdrawal subsides she may be in a place to talk to you," I say.

"I hope so," Peeta replies.

I give him a reassuring smile and Uncle Haymitch eyes my arm that is around him. I see the look he is giving me but I ignore it and concentrate on supporting Peeta.

Not long after, Prim exits the bathroom and stumbles into the room opposite. Peeta's head jerks in her direction and he sits forward.

"I better go and sit with her. She shouldn't be doing this alone," he says.

He stands and I rise with him.

"I'll come with you," I state.

Peeta shakes his head at me.

"No. You should go home and get some rest. The doctors said insomnia is a common symptom of withdrawal. I'm likely to be up all night. At least one of us should get some sleep," he says.

I'm reluctant to leave him. I'm worried for both him and Prim. Prim is only going to get more agitated and emotional over the next couple of days and I don't think Peeta should be dealing with it on his own.

However Uncle Haymitch gets up and walks over to us.

"Come on, sweetheart. Walk an old man home. You're no good tired and cranky," Uncle Haymitch says.

I look back at Peeta again for reassurance and he urges me to go. Eventually I sigh and nod my head as I turn to walk out with my uncle.

"Call me if you need anything. I'll be here in ten minutes," I say.

Peeta smiles and nods his head.

"I will," he replies.

I nod my head again before stepping in and wrapping my arms around him. Peeta squeezes me tight and we hold the embrace for a long moment. I inhale his now familiar scent of mint and wish I could stay here with him. Peeta pulls back slightly to press a lingering kiss to my forehead before gently releasing me.

"Sleep well," Peeta says as we pull away.

I give him one last smile before turning and leaving with Uncle Haymitch.

We're silent as we leave but soon Uncle Haymitch clears his throat to speak.

"Did you and the boy sleep together while you were on your little road trip?" he asks.

I snap my head round to frown at him.

"Why would you ever ask me that?" I reply.

"I just need to know if I lost my bet with Chaff. If you wait another two weeks he owes me fifty bucks," he says.

I scowl at him and cross my arms over my chest as I turn away from him.

"It's none of your business," I reply tersely.

"Well damn. It looks like I owe Chaff some money," Uncle Haymitch says.

"What makes you think we slept together?" I ask.

He gives me an amused smile but I still refuse to look at him. I'm angry that he'd bet against my relationships like that.

"I first started worrying when I saw how close you two were after you got out the car. Lots of soft touches and hand holding. You're straight refusal to answer me has just answered my question. You two definitely did it," he says smugly.

"I didn't know I was so easy to read," I reply.

"Sweetheart, you can't hide your feelings for shit. You're a complete open book," he says.

I don't want to give him any more ammunition to tease me so stay silent for the remainder of the journey back to my apartment. I give him a short goodbye at my doorway but he just smiles at being able to annoy me so easily.

"For what it's worth, Katniss, you could do a lot worse than Peeta," he says.

I know he is being sincere by the use of my real name. It seems he's genuinely rooting for my relationship with Peeta. It's just a pity that I am not ready to have that type of relationship.

* * *

I don't sleep well. My mind is too full of thoughts of worry for Peeta and Prim. At seven o'clock I think I have waited long enough and dash out the door. I pick up some breakfast along the way and let myself into Peeta's apartment with coffee and bagels.

Prim is slumped on the couch looking even worse than the night before. Her skin is so pale it is almost translucent and the dark circles are heavy under her eyes.

She barely acknowledges me as I walk in the room and turns up her nose at the coffee and bagels. I leave her for a moment as I go off in search for Peeta.

I find him sleeping on top of his bed covers in his room. His head is lolled to the side and a bit of drool dribbles down his chin but I am glad he is at least resting. I reach down to stroke a hand through his blond curls but my touch is enough to startle him awake.

His eyes go into a wide panic as he first wakes and he jerks his head up, searching the room for Prim.

"Where's Prim?" he asks anxiously.

"She's in the living room, not doing herself any harm," I say trying to placate him.

However it doesn't work and he jumps off the bed to go and check on her. I know any attempt to get him to sleep more will be futile so I follow him into the room.

Peeta sits down beside Prim and places his hand on her shoulder.

"How are you feeling? Is it any better?" he asks.

"I'm fucking withdrawing! How do you think I'm feeling?" Prim snaps.

Peeta flinches his hand away and he lets out an awkward laugh as he sits forward.

"Right. Stupid question, I guess," he replies.

Prim narrows her eyes before wrapping her arms around her and jiggling her legs against the couch.

"I brought breakfast. You both need to eat something," I say as I bring the plates round.

Peeta accepts his with a grateful smile but Prim just pushes her plate away again.

Peeta looks pained as he watches his sister refuse the food.

"You need to eat something. It might make you feel better," he urges.

"I'm just going to throw it all back up again," Prim replies.

"Please, just try it," Peeta pleads.

Prim throws him an annoyed look but she does pull herself up into a sitting position and tentatively takes a bite out of the bagel. After one bite she throws the bagel back down on the plate and resumes her earlier position.

"There. I ate something," she replies.

Peeta's face falls and we share a look. Peeta stares at Prim for a long moment after, as if staring at her will get her to eat, but eventually he sighs and gives up. The room is silent as both Peeta and I eat our bagels.

As we are eating, Peeta goes to check his emails to see if any of the rehab centres have got back to him. He scrolls through several before something catches his attention and his plate almost clatters to the ground in his excitement.

"They'll take her!" he exclaims.

My eyes widen in amazement and I rush round so I can look at the computer screen with him. He points to the screen and the name of the place that have said they'll take Prim.

"It's a centre just two hours from here that specialise in the rehabilitation of young girls who've lived on the street or been in prostitution. They read Prim's story and say she meets all their criteria. It's even district funded so we don't have to pay!" he says.

A huge grin breaks across my face and I squeeze the tops of Peeta's shoulders in delight.

"That's great, Peeta. When can they see us?" I ask.

"This afternoon. We can head off just before lunch," he says excitedly.

This is just the news we need to hear. It's been so bleak since we've found Prim but we now have some positive news and a clearer plan to help her.

Peeta starts jabbering away about all the things we need to do before we set out. There are forms to fill out and items to buy for Prim and I nod my head as I begin listing the things I can do. We start rushing about the apartment to get it all together.

Prim sits up on the couch and looks in our direction.

"Have you forgotten something? I'm right here but you haven't asked me if I want to go," Prim says.

This stops us in our tracks and we both turn to look at Prim.

"This will help you get better, Prim. You have to go," Peeta says.

"I don't need you making decisions for me," she replies.

Peeta deflates and slumps against a chair. I can't stand seeing him so despondent so I walk over and bend down in front of Prim.

"We can't make you go but I believe you want to get better. Otherwise you would have run last night," I say.

Prim purses her lips together and stares at me intently. I don't dare break her stare as I try to will her to agree. Peeta watches us holding his breath and time moves slowly as I sit and stare at her. Eventually Prim ducks her head down and gives me a small nod. I allow myself a small smile in triumph before I get back up and go back to helping Peeta get ready.

* * *

The two hour journey to the centre is tough. Prim's withdrawal gets worse and she begins pleading with us to get her a fix. Peeta has to take deep breaths and closes his eyes in an effort to block out her pleas. She sounds so desperate and it is hard to ignore her request. Anything to put her out of her misery.

Her cries only stop as we approach the rehab centre and she practically pushes her nose up against the glass as she scans the building. It pains me even more to think that she is thinking about the drugs they may have in there. I can't imagine what it is like to live your life only to your next fix.

The prospect of some prescription drug that will substitute her craving is enough to force Prim out the car. We are met by a cheery receptionist with bubble gum coloured hair and an exaggerated accent. Prim ignores her as she scans the corridors, searching for the room that might have drugs to help her. Peeta states our names and the receptionist nods her head.

"Oh, of course! Dr Aurelius is waiting for you. Come, come. Follow me," she says.

Peeta and a share a slightly amused smile as we follow the babbling woman down the corridor.

"You must be Primrose," the woman says tipping her head at Prim. "I'm Effie and I run the schedules here. I tell you, this place wouldn't function without me. You should have seen the level of disorganisation of this place before I arrived. They didn't even have a colour coded filing system!"

Prim isn't listening as she continues to peer in doors to see what is inside.

"You've come to the best place. We have a fantastic set of doctors and this community programme that gets all our patients involved in putting something back in the local community. I'm in charge of the garden project and we have the best cabbage patch in the district!" Effie exclaims.

I'm exhausted listening to her but at least she seems positive. Prim needs positive people around her.

Effie continues chatting as she walks us to Dr Aurelius' office. She leaves us with a big smile as Dr Aurelius greets us. He is a middle aged man with grey hair and a thick beard. His glasses perch on the end of his nose but he has a warm smile as he tells us to take a seat. We all take seats nervously and wait for him to speak.

"It's nice to meet you, Primrose. I hope this place is somewhere that suits you," the doctor says.

"Where are the drugs? What can you get me to stop me feeling like this?" Prim asks.

The doctor smiles sympathetically at her.

"It doesn't quite work like that. If we decide you are a suitable candidate for our centre you will be on a strict regime. We don't encourage you to substitute one drug for another. There is a short taper of drugs once you start here but then you are expected to be drug free. This, of course, is all dependent on you actually wanting to be sober. We can't take you if you are not serious about making changes in your life," he says.

Prim deflates and sinks back into the chair. Peeta throws me a worried look. He has all his hopes pinned on getting Prim in here. But I know as well as the doctor it will all be useless if Prim doesn't actually want the help.

"My sister needs a lot of help," Peeta says.

Dr Aurelius smiles kindly and nods his head.

"And I hope we can provide it. We have a great programme here with people that have personally experienced heroin addiction. We find it helps our patients to have people that understand. We also have a strong focus on developing the skills to stay sober after detox. It won't be easy but we believe we have the best systems to help," he says.

Peeta nods his head eagerly and leans forward to ask more question about the programmes and the support they have here. Dr Aurelius answers all the questions patiently but keeps one eye on Prim throughout the conversation. It is clear he is trying to size her up and I fear Prim is not passing the test.

Once Peeta has exhausted all his questions, Dr Aurelius turns his attention fully to Prim.

"I would like to spend a moment alone with Primrose. I want to know why she is here," he says.

Peeta looks nervously at me. He's not convinced Prim is going to say the right things but does nod his head in agreement. Dr Aurelius gives us a kind smile before Peeta and I get up to leave.

Peeta and I sit on chairs outside the office and Peeta fixes his gaze on the wooden door in front of us while he nervously taps his foot.

"I hope everything goes right in there. I so desperately want her to accept the help," he says.

I reach over to take his hand and give it a squeeze.

"We have to trust in her now. The fact she's in there must be a good sign," I say.

Peeta nods his head but doesn't take his eyes off the door.

"I just want her to get better. I think this place can help her," he says.

I nod my head in agreement. I hope Prim has the strength to help herself.

Peeta keeps staring at the door as he taps his foot impatiently. I don't know what to say to calm him so I say nothing. Prim and the doctor stay inside the room for ages and Peeta grows more agitated the longer we wait. The tapping of his foot echoes throughout the bare corridor and people look at us strangely as they walk past. Finally the door opens and the doctor and Prim emerge.

Peeta jumps up and his eyes fix on his sister. Her eyes are red and puffy and she wipes her nose unattractively with the sleeve of her shirt. Peeta looks alarmed at her state and Dr Aurelius gives us a small smile. Effie comes back and Dr Aurelius gently passes Prim to her. Effie puts an arm around Prim and gently leads her down the corridor, offering words of comfort and encouragement.

Peeta looks from Prim to Dr Aurelius, puzzled. The doctor tips his head towards his office, gesturing for us to come inside again.

We barely take our seats before Peeta begins bombarding the doctor with questions.

"What on earth happened in here? What did you talk about? Where are you taking my sister?" he asks.

Dr Aurelius smiles at us again before gathering some papers on his desk.

"Your sister is in a very dark place. Although she didn't reveal a lot it is clear she has suffered a great deal in her short life. I wasn't sure at first that she was ready to change but half way through she broke down telling me how much she hates herself and the person she has become. I now believe she is ready to stop using and I believe we are the best place for her to achieve this," he says.

Peeta lets out a very obvious sigh of relief and sinks back in his chair.

"Well what happens now?" he asks.

"Effie is taking Prim to the medical room. We'll assess her withdrawal symptoms and the rest of her health and put together a health programme to help her. She'll detox for the next few days where we taper her off suboxone and once the detox is complete she will be involved with a variety of therapy groups that will attend to her mental health and teach her the skills to stay sober," Dr Aurelius replies.

"Will we be able to see her?" Peeta asks.

"We greatly encourage loved ones to come and support but we do ask that you stay away for a couple of weeks. Many of the patients don't like their family to see them in this state and it gives us time to set up all our programmes and Primrose to get used to the routines," he says.

Peeta nods his head in understanding and I reach across to grab his hand. I give it a gentle squeeze to let him know I will support him through this all. He gives me a grateful smile before turning back to the doctor and asking if there is anything else he has to do.

We leave the centre an hour later after filling in what felt like a hundred forms. We go and see Prim before we leave but she has got a bad bought of diarrhoea and Peeta only has enough time to push her marble into her hand before we leave. It pains Peeta to leave her in such a state but he knows that this place is much better equipped to help her than we are at this moment.

The centre don't let us go and see Prim for a month. We get regular updates from Dr Aurelius and he assures us that Prim is doing well. She finished detoxing after four days and has since responded well to the therapy sessions she attends. He tells us that she has even begun helping look after the chickens they keep in their small community garden. This harks back to Prim's love of animals when she was a child and I am glad that she has found something good to focus on.

Peeta is distracted the entire month and many patrons at the bar note this as he barely engages in conversation with anyone. The news of his sister does travel through the town quickly though and it amazes me how sympathetic people are after all the trouble Prim caused while she was in town. Joel Donner even sets up a fund to help Prim once she is well enough to leave the centre. As everyone tells me how they plan to help Prim once she comes back, my heart swells with love and pride for this town. They can always be counted on to be there when you need them.

When we finally get the call telling us that Prim is ready to see us Peeta becomes anxious and nervous again. He has so much he wants to say to Prim and he's not sure that Prim will ever be able to forgive him.

"It might help if you write down everything you want to say. It'll help sort out everything going through your head," I say.

Peeta sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He looks like he has been electrocuted as his hair stands on its end after running his hands through it so many times.

"What if she doesn't forgive me? What if she sends me away for good?" he asks.

"Then you keep finding ways to show her that you are not giving up on her. Her greatest fear is probably that she is going to be abandoned again. You just have to show her that you're not going to," I reply.

Peeta nods his head in agreement and I give him a reassuring hug. I just wish he believed in himself as much as I do.

* * *

Peeta bounces his leg up and down as we stand in the reception area waiting for Prim to come out. Effie babbles about the bake sale they had last week but Peeta has completely zoned her out. I smile politely at her and nod in all the right places as I grip onto Peeta's hand tightly in an effort to calm him.

Finally Prim appears in the reception area and Peeta turns to look at her apprehensively. She looks so much better since the last time we saw her. The bags have gone from underneath her eyes and some colour has appeared back on her skin. Her cheeks are just that little bit rounder and her hair that little bit less limp. It's hard to read the expression on her face as she and Peeta continue to stare at each other. Dr Aurelius follows up behind Prim and tips his head in greeting to us.

"Why don't you take Peeta to the garden? It's a safe place for you both to talk," he says.

Prim nods her head and I let go of Peeta's hand to allow him some privacy to talk with his sister. However Peeta turns to me with a scared look in his eyes.

"You're not coming with me?" he asks.

I look over to Prim and see her nervously wringing her hands together. I want to give Peeta support but I'm not sure it's best for me to go with him.

"You can come," Prim says. "Might be good to have a mediator."

I'm surprised by her comment and am still not sure this is a moment I should be privy to but the pleading look in Peeta's eyes forces me to accept Prim's offer. I nod my head in agreement and Prim's face is blank as she turns to lead us through to the garden.

The garden is a small area with various plants and vegetables growing on small plots. A coop of chickens is set in the corner and a couple wander past our feet as we take a seat down on one of the wooden benches. Prim chooses to sit underneath a large willow tree and the rest of the garden is almost blocked from our view as we sit underneath its leafy branches.

Prim sits at one end of the bench and her hands curl round the edge as she sits forward and turns her head to look at us. Peeta and I take a seat at the other end and our hands immediately find each other as I give him the courage to speak. He takes a deep breath before he begins.

"You look good. How have you been finding it here?" he asks.

Prim shrugs her shoulders as she swings her legs and looks to the ground.

"It's okay. I still think about getting a fix nearly every hour of the day but I like the people here. Everyone here knows what it's like to crave it," she replies.

Peeta nods his head and tries to find the courage for what he has to say next. I give his hand a squeeze to encourage him to speak further.

"I'm glad you like it here. I'm proud of you for doing this," he says.

Prim scoffs and shakes her head. She doesn't believe he cares enough.

"I know it's my fault for getting you in this mess in the first place. I should have taken you with me when I left. I never should have left you with Mom," he says.

"Then why did you? Why leave me all alone with her with no one to defend me?" Prim asks.

She doesn't look angry anymore when she says this. Just upset. Upset and scared at being abandoned.

"I'm so sorry. I tried to justify it by saying I didn't have enough money to look after us both but really I have no excuse. I was just selfish. I was so desperate to get out that I didn't even think about you. I just wanted to leave and forget the scared little boy I was while I lived there. If I could go back in time I would take you with me," he says.

Prim sniffs and turns to look Peeta directly in the eye. Her eyes begin to water and she struggles to keep her emotions in check.

"That's what hurt the most. Growing up you always tried to protect me and took the worst of Mom's beatings and then you just disappeared leaving me behind. For so long I was convinced you were just working out a plan to get me out too. I used to imagine how you would reappear one day and take me away from the nightmare that I was living. But you never did and I had to find a different person to take me," Prim replies.

Tears slip down Peeta's cheeks and my heart clenches for the two hurt young people that didn't know how to deal with their situation. They both made mistakes and they paid dearly for them.

"Oh god, Prim. I know sorry isn't even enough to make up for what I did. I hate myself for leaving you and forcing you to find Cray. But I'm not going to leave you again. I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it," he says passionately.

The tears fall rapidly down Prim's cheeks and she tries to sniff a few back.

"But how can you love me? After all the things I've done?" she says.

"Because I'm your brother and I'm going to love you no matter what you do. Even if you relapse I'm still going to be here. I'm always going to be here, trying to protect you in the way I didn't when we were kids. But how can you forgive me for what I have done?" he says.

Prim lets out a small laugh as she wipes the tears from her eyes.

"Because you're my brother and I still love you," she says.

Peeta lets out a sharp shuddering breath before he launches himself forward and throws his arms around Prim. She accepts his embrace readily and the two of them cry tears into each other's shoulders as I sit back and let them have this small moment together.

Slowly a smile spreads across my face and for the first time in a long time I feel hope. Hope that no matter how bad our losses our, things will get better again.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 _Peeta_

Prim smiles nervously at us as we enter the centre and takes a deep breath as she stands up to greet us. Katniss reaches her first and the two share a hug before turning to face me. I give Prim a big smile and she relaxes when she sees it.

"You ready to get out of here?" I ask.

Prim nods her head eagerly and looks over towards Dr Aurelius, who is standing just off to the side.

"Absolutely. No offence, Dr A, but the food here is atrocious," Prim replies.

The kind doctor laughs before coming over to join us. He's been instrumental in Prim's recovery and she trusts him completely. She wouldn't be ready to leave this place if it wasn't for him.

He puts a hand on Prim's shoulder and smiles at her proudly.

"I promise I won't tell Johanna. She's very proud of the food she makes," he replies. Prim smiles back at him. "You're doing so well, Prim. Enjoy life on the outside but remember to use the skills we've taught you."

"Thanks, Dr A. Peeta has already signed me up to the 12 step meetings to help me stay on the straight and narrow," Prim says.

"I've read all the books on how to support a heroin addict. I'm not going to let her relapse easily," I say determinedly.

Doctor Aurelius turns to me with a smile.

"You're lucky to have such a supportive brother. It's not going to be easy for you but I believe you have all the best support systems to battle this successfully," he says.

Prim beams up at him and Katniss puts an arm around her shoulder and gives her a reassuring squeeze.

"Come on. Let's get moving. Peeta has promised to make us his homemade pizza when we get home," she says.

Prim nods her head again and I bend down to pick up her small suitcase. Prim goes over to Dr Aurelius and gives him a short hug while muttering words of thanks before she pulls back and comes to join us.

"I'm ready to go. Take me home," she says.

I smile down at her as Katniss puts her arm around Prim's shoulder again and we all walk out the centre for what I hope is the last time.

It's been a long and hard four months. We've had to battle with Prim's cravings as well as trying to rebuild our relationship. We've had to relearn everything we knew about each other, something that is made even harder when Prim isn't sure what type of person she is now. There are still times that she shouts at me, particularly if she is having a hard time with her cravings, but I would rather she shout at me than try and find the next fix.

Katniss is a great buffer between us. She and Prim have become close. In many ways Prim finds it easier to open up to Katniss than me because they have no prior history and I know Katniss now thinks of Prim as a little sister. My heart melted the day at the centre I walked in on Katniss teaching Prim how to braid her hair a certain way. Prim never got that experience living with our mother and I hope that Prim can now experience a semi-normal family life.

We all clamber into Katniss' car and Prim turns to give the centre one long last look. Katniss twists rounds to look at her as I start up the engine.

"You feeling okay about leaving?" she asks.

Prim sighs as she looks back at the building.

"It's a little scary leaving it all behind. It's the first place I've felt safe but at the same time I'm eager to actually get out in the world. The walls of the centre are not the most exciting thing," she says.

"So what's next then?" I ask. "Now you are out what do you want to do?"

Prim shrugs her shoulders as she turns back to face the front of the car.

"I want to get my GED but after that who knows? I don't know what I want to be yet but right now I'm just excited that I have the possibility to do anything I want to," she says.

Both Katniss and I smile as we drive down the road and away from the centre.

* * *

I get into a bit of a tizz once we arrive back at my apartment in Seam. I rush about the apartment making sure everything is right while Katniss and Prim stand watching me amused in the hallway. I cleaned the place top to bottom before I left but I just want everything to be perfect for Prim. This is going to be her first proper home in over three years and I want her to like it.

"Peeta, calm down. This apartment is spotless. Plus you promised us pizza when we got back," Katniss says.

I stop and nod my head. I take a few steps towards them before I speak again.

"Right. Food. I thought we would keep things simple tonight. Pizza and a movie. That is if you want pizza. I can cook you anything. Just name it. And if you don't want to watch a movie we could do something else. Play a board game or you could teach us some meditation. Honestly it's up to you," I ramble.

Prim laughs and shakes her head at me. She reaches out to place a gentle hand on my arm.

"Pizza and a movie is just fine, Peeta. Stop stressing," she replies. "Katniss has told me how good your cooking is anyway. I'm desperate to try some."

I let out a low breath and nod my head. I need to calm down. I remind myself that Prim wants to be here.

"We can help with the toppings. Though I'm not having pineapple on top of my pizza. Fruit and pizza should not mix!" Katniss says.

"I love pineapple on a pizza! That little squirt of juice when you bite into it!" Prim says dreamily.

Katniss looks mildly appalled. We've had this argument about pineapple many times.

"What is it with you Mellarks and fruit on pizza? I've been trying to convince Peeta of pineapple's evilness for months now!" Katniss replies.

Prim and I share a smile and I put an arm around my sister's shoulder.

"Clearly we have better taste than you. Prim, you're in charge of making sure she doesn't throw all the pineapple in the trash. She can be pretty sneaky," I say.

"Not a problem. Where's the kitchen again?" she asks.

I point in the direction of the small room just off to the side of the living room and Prim heads towards it to prepare the toppings for the pizza. Katniss and I follow after her and the three of us all squish into the small kitchen and have great fun tossing the pizza dough and throwing puffs of flour in each other's faces.

Later that evening we sit in the living room with only the blue light from the television illuminating the room. Prim is curled up in a blanket on the old moth eaten chair while Katniss and I lie on the couch opposite. We are watching some dystopian future film that Prim wanted to see which has a lot of explosions and the almost obligatory love triangle. Katniss fell asleep half way through and somehow managed to snuggle next to me with her head resting against my chest. Her hand lies just below my heart and one of my hands strokes her dark locks. I don't really understand what is going on in the movie mainly because I have spent more time watching Katniss than the TV screen. She's just so much more captivating that the movie playing out before me.

Once the film ends Prim stretches out her cramped limbs and the blanket falls to the ground. She yawns before her eyes fall on Katniss and I lying tangled together on the couch. A small smile spreads across my sister's face.

"You and Katniss should take the bed tonight. I'll sleep on the blow up thing in here," she says.

"Katniss will want to go home," I say shaking my head.

Prim looks at me in disbelief.

"You're telling me that you really want to wake her? I know the two of you have shared beds before even if you don't do anything fun in them," Prim says.

"Can you please not allude to people having sex? It creeps me out," I say with a shudder.

Prim smiles and shakes her head.

"You're such a prude. Maybe if you weren't you and Katniss would actually be getting some," she says.

"We're just friends," I reply.

Prim shakes her head again before getting up and heading towards the bathroom.

"Friends don't look at each other the way you two do," she says before disappearing into the dark corridor.

I watch after her for a long moment as Katniss continues to sleep on my chest. The worst part is that I know Prim is right. I don't want to just be Katniss' friend. I'm in love with her and seeing how well she dealt with Prim has only brought us closer. It is very rare for us to spend any time apart and I think about being with her in that way all the time. But I have other priorities. Prim is still on shaking ground with her recovery and I won't be distracted by a relationship.

I sigh as I look down at Katniss and my heart flutters at the sight of her so beautiful and peaceful. I don't think she is having any nightmares tonight. She stirs slightly and nuzzles in closer to me. Her hand scrunches up the fabric of my shirt, just below my heart, before she relaxes again and continues to snooze lightly. I continue to lie there and think that if I did nothing else in my life I would be a happy man.

* * *

The next day I wake to the sound of the frying pan and the smell of eggs coming from the kitchen. I couldn't bring myself to wake Katniss last night so she slept in my bed and she still sleeps soundly next to me. I lean over to place a kiss on the side of her head before getting up and investigating what Prim is up to.

The kitchen is a bomb sight. There are cracked egg shells everywhere and a carton of spilt milk lies on the counter top. Prim stands by the burners in a pair of sleep shorts and t-shirt and she turns round with a proud smile when she hears me.

"I've made eggs for breakfast. Are scrambled still your favourite?" she asks.

"Yes. But did you use every egg in the district to make them?" I ask.

Prim looks a little guilty.

"I'm a little messy but I'll clean it up. You just sit down and I'll bring the eggs out to you. I want to thank you for letting me stay," she says.

"You'll always have a place to stay with me. I'm not going to leave you again," I say.

Prim smiles gratefully before she turns back around and begins humming as she plates up the scrambled eggs. I go through to the living room and wait for her as she gets everything ready. She comes through moments later and places the two plates down on the small wooden table.

"I left some for Katniss when she wakes up. Did you two have a good sleep?" she asks.

I shoot her a warning glare.

"Stop implying things about Katniss and me. I'm not talking about it anymore," I say.

Prim shrugs her shoulders before tucking into her eggs. We are both silent for a moment as we enjoy our morning food.

"How about you? How was the blow up mattress? I have a proper bed ordered but it still hasn't arrived yet," I say.

"It was fine. I managed to get a few hours of sleep and then woke up and did some meditation. I feel ready to face the world today," she replies.

"Does it really work? The meditating? I just thought it was a load of silly breathing," I say.

"Breathing is part of it but it is a way for me to clear my head. My body is more relaxed afterwards and my thoughts sharper. I can teach you if you want though I don't think it is something Katniss would be in to," she says.

I laugh.

"Yeah, Katniss calls it hippy dippy shit but I don't mind trying it. Might help get rid of those dark thoughts about Mom," I reply.

Prim nods as she tucks into more food.

"For so long it felt like I had this dark cloud in my brain. I now realise a lot of that is to do with Mom but the mindfulness mediation helps lift it. The cloud still appears occasionally but I can now make it go away more quickly," she says.

I nod and can't believe how far my little sister has come in four months. I'm so proud of her for trying to change her thoughts and feelings.

"So what's the plan for the day?" Prim asks.

I finish chewing my mouthful of egg before speaking. I wipe my mouth with a napkin and clear my throat.

"Katniss and I have to work at the bar today but Rue said she would be happy to meet you for lunch," I say.

Prim's face falls.

"I can't come with you to the bar? I wanted to meet Katniss' uncle again. I've heard so many stories about him and I'd like to see him now that I am sober," she says.

"I'm not sure a bar is the best place for you. I don't want you substituting one addiction for another," I say.

Prim huffs and sits back in her chair with her arms crossed.

"You're not even legally allowed to sell me drinks. I could just sit in the kitchen with you. I can even help you cut vegetables or something," she says.

I'm hesitant. Even if I can't sell Prim alcohol it would still be easy for her to find some at the bar but the kitchen would be a safer place. I could keep an eye on her and it would keep her busy. I know this will be a key element for her not relapsing. Plus I know Haymitch wants to see her again too. I think he just wants to have another person he can relate to.

Slowly I let out a long breath and nod my head.

"You can come," I say.

Prim squeals and jumps up off her chair to come round and hug me.

"Thank you! I'll just go and get changed," she says.

"Not before you've cleaned the kitchen first," I reply.

Prim says she will before she dashes off to get ready for the day.

* * *

We end up arriving late to the bar because Prim spends so long cleaning up. Haymitch waits for us impatiently when we walk through the door.

"'Bout time you showed up! I had to set up all the tables myself!" he exclaims.

Katniss rolls her eyes as we make our way through to the back and she ties an apron around her waist.

"Now you know what I had to do every day for six years," she replies.

Haymitch huffs again as he pulls out a chair and slumps down onto it. Prim follows behind, her eyes scanning the surroundings as we walk though. Once we're in the kitchen her eyes fall on Haymitch sitting at the table.

"Blame Prim. She spent thirty minutes getting ready and then still had to tidy the kitchen," I say as I move into the kitchen and turn the ovens on.

Haymitch studies Prim carefully and notes all the changes he sees since the last time he saw her.

"Almost didn't recognise you, princess. You've finally got a bit of meat on your bones," he says.

"You look a lot cleaner since I last saw you too. Did you wash your hair?" Prim replies.

Haymitch lets out a loud laugh and pulls out the chair beside him.

"I'm so glad you noticed. You inspired me to quit drinking so much. Down to three glasses a day and showering four times a week," he replies.

Prim smiles back at him and Haymitch pats the chair next to him.

"Come, sit. It will be good to have another person to stop me being the third wheel with these two," he say pointing between Katniss and me.

"I would hardly call you a third wheel," Katniss says as she begins unloading the dishwasher.

"I have to watch you two flirt all day as you ignore me. I think that is the definition of a third wheel," he replies.

Katniss spins round to scowl at him.

"Peeta and I do not flirt all day!" she snaps.

Haymitch turns to Prim and raises an eyebrow at her. Prim tries to stifle a laugh before he turns back round to face us.

"Sure you do. It's all, Peeta let me wipe that tiny speck of food off your face, or Katniss, please sing me another song," he says trying to imitate our voices. "It's a little nauseating."

"I do not sound like that!" Katniss says. "And I don't appreciate being made fun of!"

With that she storms out the kitchen with a crate of clean glasses while Haymitch chuckles at her departure.

"Nice job. Now she is going to be pissed for the rest of the day," I say turning round to make the coleslaw for the day.

"Good thing I didn't mention that I know you two have sleepovers at each other's apartments," Haymitch laughs.

"How do you even know that?" I ask.

Since Prim's been in the centre Katniss and I have spent quite a few nights in each other's beds. Nothing other than sleep happens in them and it is just a way to keep the nightmares away but I'm sure Haymitch is going to make a big deal about it.

"Delly has seen you leaving each other's places early in the morning. Most of the town knows," he says.

"Well that's just great. Another reason for Katniss to be angry," I say. "And nothing happens at those sleepovers. We just sleep."

Both Haymitch and Prim shake their heads at me. I ignore them and turn my back to them as I chop up the carrots.

"So you're telling me nothing has ever happened between you? I find it hard to believe that two people who obviously find each other attractive have never even kissed," Prim says.

"They slept together once but sweetheart was still pining for her dead fiancé and your brother only wanted to focus on you," Haymitch replies.

Prim shakes her head.

"That's so stupid. It's so obvious that the two of you are in love. Everyone at the centre thought so and I gave up correcting them after a while. Effie was always going on about what a beautiful couple you were and that you are going to have the most beautiful babies," Prim says.

"Will you both shut up? Neither of us are ready for a relationship right now," I reply.

Haymitch and Prim share a look and Haymitch lets out a loud sigh.

"That may have been true four months ago but it isn't now. Katniss has finally stopped going to see the Hawthrones every other weekend and the ring is packed away in my storage unit," he says.

I stop what I am doing and turn to look at them both. They are both serious and I can tell they are no longer teasing. Prim smiles up at my sympathetically.

"Don't use me as an excuse just because you're scared of starting things with Katniss. I'm doing much better now and I don't need you looking out for me every hour of the day. I have to learn to look after myself," she says.

I look between them and they give me encouraging smiles in return. My heart begins to beat rapidly at the thought of what they are suggesting. I've wanted to be Katniss' boyfriend for months now and to love her in the way she deserves. I realise I may have been finding excuses to avoid asking her out.

Prim's right. I am scared. I'm scared that'll I screw things up and we'll fail. Katniss is the first good thing to come into my life and I don't want to lose her. But maybe I'll lose her anyway by avoiding taking things further.

I turn away from them both and spend the rest of the shift contemplating their words.

* * *

Prim assists me in the kitchen while Haymitch helps Katniss serve at the bar. It's nice working beside my sister again and it allows us to be a bit silly as we dance and sing as we cook. It's fun rediscovering quirks about each other like the little snort Prim has when she laughs and my inability to hold a tune. However my thoughts never stray too far from Katniss.

I keep thinking about what Haymitch and Prim said and spend more and more time imagining what it would be like if I did ask Katniss out. All I can see is happiness as we spend lazy Sunday mornings in bed and spend our days off exploring the woods around us. The more and more I think about it the more convinced I am that we are ready for it.

With Prim's help I make a batch of cheese buns and wrap them up in a picnic basket with a blanket. Haymitch gets Chaff in to help man the bar and gives both Katniss and I the rest of the night off. I'm determined to recreate that perfect first date I imagined up so many months ago.

"Care to join me on a walk? If we leave now we might make it in time for the sunset," I suggest.

Katniss looks at the basket on the bar counter before looking back up at my face. My heart beats rapidly as I wait for her answer and swear time stands still as I wait for her.

"Sure. Do you have a place in mind?" she asks.

I try not show my obvious relief at her answer as I pick up the basket and lead us towards the door.

"Joel told me about this spot just at the top of the hill. He says it has the best view of the sunset," I say.

"Sounds perfect," Katniss replies.

We walk along in a companionable manner as Katniss tells me some of the more amusing stories about the patrons in the bar today. It seems there is demand for another general knowledge quiz and that Haymitch and Chaff are in intense study to make sure they win the next time.

The walk is pleasant with the sun slowly lowering itself in the sky. A few birds chirp above our heads as they fly off to find their home for the night. Fall is just round the corner now and there is a soft breeze that will send a chill through the body when the sun goes down.

I want to reach out and take Katniss' hand but I am so nervous about what I am going to say to her at the top of the hill that my hands are sweaty and clammy. I'm also less talkative as a result and I'm sure Katniss knows something is up. But she doesn't say anything as we continue our leisurely climb up the hill.

Once at the top we both stop and take a moment to look out at the view. We can see all of Seam from this point and the lights from the town are just beginning to come on as the sun begins dipping below the hills in the west.

"Seam almost looks beautiful from up here," Katniss says.

I turn to her with a smile.

"I personally think Seam is the greatest town in District 12," I reply with a grin.

Katniss laughs and shakes her head before turning round and gesturing for the basket.

"We better get comfy quick. The sun has almost disappeared," she says.

I smile and nod before dropping the basket to the ground and begin unpacking the picnic rug.

Katniss helps me smooth out the rug on the ground and then takes a seat on it, facing out towards the sunset. She shivers slightly as she sits down and rubs her hands up and down her arms. I quickly reach for the blanket inside the basket and throw it around her shoulders. I squish down next to her as I pull the blanket tight around our shoulders. I reach in to get out the flask of hot chocolate and pour Katniss a mug. She smiles at me gratefully as she curls her hands round the mug and takes a sip.

"Thank you," she says, nuzzling in closer to me.

I pour myself a mug too and we both turn to watch the sun disappear behind the hills. The sky is a wash of soft oranges and pinks, all bleeding and melting into the horizon. Katniss leans in even closer to me and rests her head against my shoulder as we watch the sun set. I put one arm around her and pull her close as the last tendrils of daylight disappear. We're silent as we watch it and I feel the most content I have in a long time.

Eventually the sun dips below the hills and the stars begin to come out. Katniss shifts slightly and removes her head from my shoulder to look up at me.

"You know this is a lot like the perfect first date you said you would take me on. We're just missing the cheese buns," she says.

"The cheese buns are in the basket," I say and Katniss laughs. There is a short pause before I speak again. "You remember that? I told you so long ago."

"How could I forget it? It was so well thought out. It really was perfect," she replies.

I take in a short breath as my heart goes into overdrive. This is my moment.

"This could be our first date, if you wanted it to be," I say.

Katniss lets out a little gasp and pulls slightly away from me. I stare deep into her grey eyes, illuminated by the moonlight, as I wait nervously for her answer. Katniss stares back at me and opens her mouth to say something but no words come out. I'm desperate for her to say anything but she just continues to stare at me with her mouth agape. After a long moment I turn away and look down at my lap disheartened.

"Forget I said anything. I don't want to ruin a perfectly good walk," I say.

Katniss shakes her head and shifts forward to gently touch me on my cheek. I reluctantly turn to look at her with hurt in my eyes.

"No, Peeta, you don't understand. I don't want to forget it. I'm just scared," she admits.

A sliver of hope blooms in my chest.

"I'm scared to allow myself to love you because so many people I love are taken away from me and I couldn't bare it if you were taken away from me too," she says.

I sit up straighter and clasp her hands in mine. I look her deep in the eye and try to convey every feeling I have for her.

"I'm scared too. Because I love you and I'm terrified of screwing things up. My life didn't make sense until you turned up and the thought of not having you in it scares the shit out of me," I say.

Katniss smiles at me and I grasp her hand tighter as I run a thumb across her knuckles. Adrenaline courses through my body as excitement about telling her how I feel over takes me.

"I can't promise that nothing bad will happen to me. We both know that life is not always fair but surely our losses have taught us that life is short and we never know what is going to happen next. I don't want to waste any more time not being with you." I say.

Katniss smiles softly at me as she looks down at our joined hands. She sighs as she rubs circles with her thumb. I grow slightly solemn as I duck down to look in her eye.

"But I will wait, if you're not ready for more. If you still need more time to move on from Gale," I add.

Katniss' head snaps up and she shakes her head furiously. She squeezes my hand so tight that it is almost painful.

"I don't need more time to get over Gale. He's my past now. Part of me will always love him but I don't need him anymore," she replies.

My heart stops when I hear the conviction in her voice. Katniss takes a deep breath as she reaches a hand out to gently caress the side of my face.

"I love you and that scares the hell out of me too," she adds.

I lean into her touch and put my hand over hers. I give her fingers a gentle squeeze.

"Then let's be scared together," I say.

Katniss gives me a small smile before I reach out to hold her head in my hands. I hesitate for just a moment as I look into her eyes to check this is okay. She gives me a gentle nod of the head and I smile dipping down and tentatively touching my lips to hers. The kiss is soft at first. I plant lots of gentle pecks on her lips but slowly they begin to build in intensity. Eventually Katniss opens her mouth to deepen the kiss and I tug her towards me and pull her onto my lap. The heat blooms between us as she wraps her arms around my neck and presses me tight against her. We kiss under the stars for what feels like hours and I know I won't ever be the first to let go.

* * *

 **A/N: So that's the end! There's just a short epilogue left. I hope you have enjoyed this emotional journey that they have all been on. Hopefully you can see how much they've all changed.**

 **I want to thank my beta, LavenderVanilla, for helping me with the first part of the story. She was unable to help at the end due to her busy life but she really helped tighten up and make the beginning of the story so much better.**

 **You can still vote for this story at the** **The Fanatic Fanfics Multifandom Awards if you haven't done so already. Voting is on their website** **(awards. fanaticfanfics. com) and** **in the** **All -Time Hunger Games Fanfic category.**

 **Thanks to everyone who followed/reviewed/favourited this story. It wasn't always easy to read at times so I'm glad people stuck with it.**


	15. Chapter 15

Epilogue

 _Katniss_

 _8 months later_

Peeta rattles about in the drawers in the kitchen as I tie balloons to the door frames. There is a lot of crashing and banging as Peeta searches for something amongst the mess in the kitchen.

"Katniss, where do you keep the matches?" he calls through from the kitchen.

"I ran out. Do you have any in your boxes?" I reply.

Peeta appears from the kitchen and surveys some of the unpacked boxes lying in the hallway. After eight months of officially dating it became clear that we never spent a night apart. We finally made the decision to officially move all of Peeta's stuff into my apartment and all his boxes arrived on Monday. I love having Peeta around but he sure does have a lot of stuff.

"They're in one of these boxes. I just don't know which one," he huffs. "I need them to light the candles on Prim's cake."

I smile at him as I finish tying the balloons and go and help him search through the boxes. Prim is one year sober today and Peeta has been stressed, trying to put together the perfect party for her to celebrate. He's been cooking all week and cleaned the apartment about five times to get things right for her.

"If you didn't have so much cooking stuff the matches might be easier to find," I say as I sift through the various cooking utensils. Peeta looks up at me with a grin.

"You don't seem to complain when I used all my equipment to make you waffles this morning," he replies.

I smile and shake my head before I catch sight of the box of matches underneath a toaster. I raise the matches triumphantly above my head and Peeta looks up relieved.

"Found them!" I exclaim. "Do I get a reward?"

Peeta grins as he takes a few steps towards me. He takes the box of matches out of my hand before curling an arm around my waist to pull me to him.

"What reward did you have in mind?" he asks.

I smile up at him with a twinkle in my eye before I push up onto my toes to kiss him. Peeta smiles into the kiss as he puts both arms around me and lifts me slightly from the ground. I giggle as I wrap my arms around his neck before we both sink into the kiss.

I still can't believe I am this happy even eight months down the line. Loving Peeta has come as naturally to me as breathing. One glimpse of his dopey grin in the morning is enough to put me in a good mood for the rest of the day. But I am still terrified that he is going to be taken away from me. My nightmares of losing my parents and Gale have expanded to include images of losing Peeta too. But I've learned to live more in the moment and not fret about the bad things that could happen in the future.

We kiss for several minutes until we are interrupted by a clearing of the throat coming from the doorway.

"I get enough of this at the bar. You have a bedroom for a reason, you know," Uncle Haymitch declares.

He stands in our hallway beside Prim, who is carrying a box of soda and fruit juice. While Uncle Haymitch looks a little disturbed, Prim has an amused smile on her face.

"A room doesn't help much either. Why else did you think I got ear plugs for when Katniss slept over?" she says.

I blush and Peeta chuckles as he pulls me into his side. I bury my head in his shoulder to try and hide my embarrassment.

"So Katniss is quite vocal in the bedroom then? They say it's always the quiet ones," another female voice says.

Behind Uncle Haymitch and Prim is a young woman with spikey jet black hair and a piercing in her nose. She carries a bag of chips and Prim turns to her with a grin.

The woman is Johanna Mason. She is a former drug addict and was one of the volunteers at the rehabilitation centre that Prim went to. Prim became close with her during her time at the centre and Johanna has been Prim's sponsor since she got out.

I don't know what we would do without her. She's the only one who can calm Prim down and make her see sense when the cravings are really bad. Peeta and I have often had to watch on hopelessly as Johanna has comforted Prim, telling her to focus on her breathing and think of her happy place while Prim sits rocking and crying on the floor. Johanna has been vital in Prim reaching this milestone.

Johanna and Prim walk further into the apartment to put down the goodies and Johanna lets out a low whistle as she turns to survey the room.

"You definitely went all out, Mellark," Johanna says impressed.

Peeta has gone a bit overboard. Balloons and streamers hang from almost every surface and the kitchen table is covered with all types of homemade finger food. A huge banner covers almost the entire length of the back wall with the words "Congratulations Prim!" written in bright red lettering. He's made fifty delicately iced cupcakes with a perfectly piped 1 on top to mark Prim's one year anniversary. My mouth has been salivating ever since he displayed them this morning and I can't wait to bite into one.

Prim takes it all in carefully and a small, proud smile spreads across her face.

"I can't believe I made it. I really didn't think I would after last week," she says.

"You've done well, squirt. The first year is the hardest," Johanna says throwing an arm around Prim's shoulder.

Prim gives her a grateful smile and looks mightily relieved to have made it.

The last week was particularly hard for Prim with her cravings. Peeta was making such a big fuss about her reaching the one year mark that she began to crack under the pressure of it all. She didn't want him to plan anything until she had definitely reached the one year mark. We got a very scary phone call from her, at the end of last week, as she called us in floods of tears with a syringe in her hands. We dropped everything immediately to go and get her from the town two hours away that supplied her the drugs. Johanna spoke to Prim on the phone the entire time it took us to get there to make sure Prim didn't puncture her skin with that needle. It was a very clear reminder that even though Prim has gone so long sober the need for heroin is never going to entirely disappear.

We all smile proudly back at her and Peeta drops his arm from around me to go over and give Prim a warm hug.

"You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. I'm so proud to call you my sister," he says.

Prim returns his hug readily and they share a quiet moment together. The two of them have become close again these last few months. They have had to relearn almost everything about each other but I love the moments I get to see them being silly as they tease one and other.

After a moment they pull away and finish setting out the rest of the food and decorations. Uncle Haymitch slumps down on a chair and pours himself a glass of orange juice. He scrunches his nose a little at the lack of alcohol in it as he puts the glass back down.

"A party with no alcohol. I'm sure this is just going to be a hoot!" he declares.

I raise my eyebrows at him.

"I thought you were quitting for good now," I say.

Uncle Haymitch has changed a lot in the last year too. Seeing the state Prim got herself into forced him to open his eyes about his own habits. He's been slowly trying to wean himself off the drink for good and is now down to only a couple of glasses a day but he did say if Prim reached the one year he'd quit entirely too.

"I don't know why you are encouraging me to stop drinking. Just means you'll have to put up with my sarcastic comments longer," he replies.

We all share a smile and Prim bends down to wrap her arms around him.

"We want you with us as long as possible, Haymitch. Who else is going to call us out for being idiots if you're not around?" Prim says.

Uncle Haymitch smiles affectionately up at her and reaches up to pat her arm around his shoulder.

"I definitely bring the brains to this little group. You bring the beauty and Peeta brings the food. I'm not really sure what Katniss brings to the party," he replies as he shoots me a smile.

I scowl and Prim laughs. She bends down to give him a quick kiss on the head before she skips off to help Johanna lay out all the cups. Uncle Haymitch watches on at her fondly. Finally, after twenty years of grieving, he's got something to wake up for in the mornings again.

Shortly after the other guests begin to arrive. There's not many. Just Rue and a couple of other young girls Prim has made friends with in Seam as well as Greasy Sae, who Prim works for in the local grocery store. Prim jumps up excitedly to meet everyone that comes through the door with a big hug and kiss on their cheek. Her eyes are bright and animated as she talks away with her guests and the proud smile never leaves her face. Her whole skin has a rosy glow to it now and her hair is a luscious gold colour. She is so different from the pale and withdrawn girl we found a year ago.

I sit on Peeta's lap as his hand rubs soothing circles on my back. We are both content to just watch Prim enjoy herself and finally act like an average twenty year old. Uncle Haymitch catches our eye from across the room and the smile he gives us tells us he feels the exact same.

Suddenly I feel something vibrating from Peeta's pocket and he scrambles about to answer his phone. He screws up his eyebrows in confusion when he sees the number and gently removes me from his lap.

"It's a number from my old hometown. I wonder what it's about," he says.

I shrug my shoulder and watch him get up to answer it. He leaves the room for some quiet and Uncle Haymitch seems to share my confusion as he watches Peeta go. I turn back my attention to the party and know Peeta will tell me if it is anything serious.

I tune into Prim's discussion with her friends about what she's planning to do next.

"I've got my GED coming up in two weeks and I think I'm more worried about that then staying sober for another year. Algebra just doesn't make sense to me," she says.

Many of her friends look at her sympathetically. Prim has been studying for her GED these last six months and while she has breezed through most of it she failed the math section in her practice tests. Peeta is worried that the stress of the exam will cause her old problems to arise again.

"We can set up a study group. I'm doing algebra as one of my courses at community college. We can learn together," Rue says.

Prim looks really relieved and smiles at Rue.

"Really? That would be such a big help. Katniss and Peeta try to help but Peeta just gets as confused as me and spends half the time trying to figure out what the textbook says before getting the answer wrong," Prim replies.

There's a round of laughter and I join in too. Peeta has tried hard to help Prim study but we both left high school a while ago now. Most of the textbook is gobbledygook to us now.

The girls soon begin talking about what Prim wants to do after her GED and they discuss the possibility of her becoming a veterinarian nurse. Since arriving back in Seam Prim's love for animals has been re-awakened and she has even convinced Uncle Haymitch to raise geese in the back yard of the bar. She might not have the grades to be a full vet but a vet nurse is definitely a possibility.

As the girls all discuss what their favourite animal is Peeta comes back through looking ashen. Immediately I stiffen and prepare myself for the worst.

"What's happened?" I ask.

Peeta doesn't say anything as he walks slowly over and takes a seat next to me. I watch him with a slight fear as he turns to face me.

"That was the hospital from my hometown. Mom's dead. A neighbour found her choked in her own vomit. They think she had been lying there for two days," he says.

I'm shocked by the nature of the news. I don't have any nice thoughts about Mrs Mellark but it is still a sad way to die. With no one to love you enough to realise you were gone. Peeta seems in shock too and sits staring into the distance. I am conscious that the room is silent and then Prim's voice cuts through the air.

"Good," she says. "I'm glad that she's dead."

"Prim!" I exclaim. I'm shocked by the coldness of her voice.

"Why should I be sorry? That woman abused me for years and made me feel ashamed for being who I was. I don't have one good memory of her. Peeta, you can't tell me that you feel sad that she's gone?" Prim replies.

Peeta looks up towards his sister. He struggles to find the right words.

"I don't know what I feel," he says slowly. "Mostly just relief."

Prim gives him a small smile and the pair of them share a look of mutual understanding.

I can't begin to pretend that I know what they are feeling. My parents showed me nothing but love while they were alive and I was devastated by their death. I need to let them come to terms with this on their own.

Prim turns back to her friends as they change to subject to something more light heartened and Peeta continues to stare in disbelief ahead of him. I shuffle closer to him and put my arm around his shoulder. He flinches at first at my touch, forgetting I was just beside him, but he doesn't pull away as I rub circles on his arm.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

He takes a deep breath and nods his head slowly. He turns to me with a tired smile.

"I never loved her but it's weird to think of her as gone. I'm just glad she can't hurt anymore people," he says.

I smile sadly at him before resting my head against his shoulder. Peeta goes back to staring out at the party.

Once all the guests have left Prim and Peeta will deal with their mom's death in the way they need to. They'll do it without me but I'll be here waiting for them when they return. Because that is what we do for each other. We protect each other from the ghosts that haunt our past.

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this little glimpse into their future. They have all come a long way by this point.**

 **Thanks again to everyone that supported this story. It really helps motivate me to write more and I love hearing all your thoughts along the way!**


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